Author's Note: I own nothing, and I'm not making money from this. It's all for fun. I hit a dry spell on Caring for Ianto... I know what I want to write, I just canlt seem to put it down... So, since I want everyone to know I'm still working, I paid heed to a plot bunny and have started another story lol. What will happen when Jac takes Ianto on a camping holiday? Expect the unexpected (wink). Thanks to everyone who reviews me all the time. You make me feel all warm and mushy inside (like a marshmallow). this one;s unbetad, so the mistakes are pure me-ness. Hope you all enjoy. let me know what you think and if it's worth carrying on. Reviews are love! xxx


Jack Harkness grinned like a wolf, leaned back in his chair and brought his arms up to rest his hands behind his head. He lifted his booted feet up onto his desk, ignoring that fact that they were covered in thick, black mud and he would most definitely be chastised about the mess later. He let out a soft sigh, took a deep breath and bellowed,

"Yahnto!"

Ianto Jones stiffened at the sound of his name, straightened up and turned his gaze towards Jack's office. He'd taken Jack coffee only five minutes ago, so he didn't want that. They'd had Chinese takeaway not half an hour ago, so he wasn't hungry. Rolling his eyes, Ianto realised that Jack must be horny, and, putting on his best innocent 'I'm not fucking the boss' face, he walked calmly towards the office.

"Yahnto!" Jack yelled again, becoming slightly impatient that there was nobody yet present to witness the brilliantness of his most recent plan. He heard Ianto's footsteps on the stairs quicken and smirked as the object of his attention crossed the threshold, coming to stand to attention next to the desk.

"Sir?" Ianto questioned.

"Close the door, Ianto." Jack said in a level tone, but with a predatory grin. Ianto swallowed quickly and nodded.

"Sir." He turned and went to do as he was told, quietly closing the office door, then turned back to Jack, a small flush creeping onto his cheeks. Jack knew what Ianto was thinking. Let him think that, he liked to see the younger man squirm when he was trying to work out what was going on in Jack's mind.

"Sit down, Ianto." He commanded, again in level tones, and again with a predatory grin. Ianto nodded and sat down quite quickly, licking his dry lips as he did so, and gazing at the desk before him. "I called you in here because we need to have a discussion." At this, Ianto's head snapped up, his eyes wide.

"A discussion, Sir?" He asked, licking his lips nervously again. "About anything in particular?"

"About you." Jack grinned. "About your wellbeing." Ianto stared at him incredulous. He hadn't tried this tack for months, not since a few weeks after Lisa died, and the thing with the cannibals happened. Ianto wondered what Jack was imagining was wrong with him. He was fine.

"With all due respect, Sir, there's nothing to discuss." Jack tutted at him.

"Oh, Ianto, but there is." He smiled. "I worry about you." He confessed, his face taking on a more serious expression. "You work too hard." Ianto opened his mouth to protest, but Jack held up a hand to silence him, continuing. "You're here at 7am every day, you usually don't leave until 8pm, and during that time, you don't stop. You constantly attend to the needs of the whole team, but never to yourself. You barely sleep, and that I know because I'm usually in the same bed as you when you're trying to. You never seem to eat unless I force you to." Jack paused, regarded Ianto with a frown. "When was the last time you took a holiday? I don't have it on record." This threw Ianto a little.

"Umm.. I haven't had one." He whispered, looking back at the desk.

"Do you know how long you've been working here? You've accrued nearly three months of paid leave. It's not healthy that you never relax unless I force you to. Although, I admit, I do enjoy forcing you to let go…" He leered. "But that's not the point. I've booked us a holiday."

"Us, Sir?" Ianto looked back at Jack's face to check he was hearing this right.

"Yes, Ianto, and how many times do I have to tell you to only call me Sir during bondage?" Jack smirked at him, and Ianto laughed in response.

"Well, I like calling you sir, and this bondage never seems to happen, so…" It was Jack's turn to laugh.

"You have only to ask."

"I think I'll pass, Jack." Ianto said with a small smile.

"There, that's much better." Jack declared, a delighted grin on his face. "Anyway, I booked us a holiday. I'm taking you camping in the Black Mountains." Ianto had been delighted about the prospect of this holiday. He had assumed a dirty weekend, in a 5 star hotel somewhere like Vienna. At the sounds of the words 'Camping' and 'Black Mountains', his face fell.

"Jack, you do remember what happened last time we went camping?" Jack looked at him quizzically. "I nearly got eaten by crazy hill people." Jack leaned forward and smiled.

"This time, you'll be fine. I wont let you out of my sight." Ianto still looked disapproving, so he continued in a wheedling tone, "Pleeeeease Ianto. I wanna go somewhere where it's just us. No-one to interrupt us. The best thing is, out there, not even Torchwood can contact us. Nothing can go wrong. Please? Lets just spend some time together?" As he said the last, he leaned over the desk, reaching out to cup Ianto's face, and tilt his chin closer. "For me?" He asked, with a slight pout before leaning further to place a light kiss on Ianto's lips.

"Alright." Ianto replied, blushing a little. "If you insist."

"I'm so glad you said yes, because I've already booked the whole thing!" Jack grinned, handing Ianto a pile of papers. "We're going kayaking and pony trekking, and we have state of the art camping equipment and a tent that's so easy to put up, even Owen could do it." This made Ianto smile.

"Pony trekking?" He asked incredulously. "You? Pony trekking? Now it's worth going just to see that!" He laughed. Jack looked hurt.

"I'll have you know I'm quite a good rider actually." He protested. Ianto looked up at him and snorted.

"I know that, but how are you with horses?" He asked with a grin. Jack took a moment to work that out, then grinned himself.

"You, Ianto Jones, are a filthy minded tease." He grinned "Go home and pack, we leave this evening." This sobered Ianto up, and he nodded sagely, before jumping to his feet as Jack shooed him out of the office and out of the Hub and began to make arrangements for when they would be away. He made sure there was plenty of instant coffee so that nobody would touch the machine, emptied all the bins, and stocked up on soda. Finally, he packed his surprises, and just as he had finished loading the SUV and was dusting his hands off on his trousers, Ianto returned with a rucksack.

Grinning, he pulled the other man close for a cuddle, kissing him warmly, then deposited the bag in the boot. With one final grope to Ianto's fantastic rear, he clambered into the driver's seat and they were on their way.

The campsite, Ianto mused, was ill-chosen. In fact, it was not so much a campsite as a field with a sign that said 'camping'. There were no facilities. No toilet block, no electricity… no coffee machine… Just a big, damp field for them to pitch a tent in. He looked sideways at Jack and pouted like a teenager. This was definitely not how Jack usually treated his lovers, Ianto was sure. Jack Harkness was the kind of man who wined and dined in style, and wooed in luxury. He wondered if this cold, damp alternative should flatter him, since Jack had had to think up something special for him, or insult him because he wasn't good enough for fancy hotels and pink champagne. Stepping out of the SUV into the biting wind and rain, and instantly freezing, Ianto decided he hated camping for a reason, and that Jack was an arsehole.

"Wow! it's cold!" Jack exclaimed as he opened the boot. "Guess we'll have to huddle together for warmth." He winked, dragging the tent bag out of the boot.

"I hate you." Ianto replied, sulking around the side of the SUV to stay out of the icy wind.

"You don't mean that." Jack replied cheerily. "Watch this!" He grinned like a small child and pulled a tab on the tent bundle. The tent just popped into shape immediately. It was large, spacious, with two compartments. One big enough to comfortably sleep two, and another high enough to put a table and chairs in. Ianto had to admit he was a bit impressed, but not impressed enough to give Jack the satisfaction of knowing it.

"Oh wonderful. Now what? We cover it in ice to make an igloo?" He responded sarcastically instead.

"No, silly, we light a fire and toast marshmallows of course!" Jack chuckled with what Ianto could only describe as childish glee. Ianto could feel the man's incessant cheer rubbing off on him, and he couldn't help but smile as Jack began to set up camp in earnest, unpacking all sorts of thins, including an alien artefact which would work as a power supply for them, and a portable coffee machine. Ianto lit a small fire and made two cups of tea, waiting for Jack to finish and settle beside him.

"Maybe this isn't so bad…" He mumbled as Jack slung and arm round his shoulders and sipped his tea. "But if I get accosted by crazies, I'll castrate you personally." He glared menacingly at the Captain, who merely chuckled.

"I knew you'd come around." He put a marshmallow on a skewer and held it over the fire for a long moment. "Here, try this." He grinned, holding the stick out for Ianto to eat the sticky sweet. Grinning, Ianto bent forward and opened his mouth to taste the marshmallow, recoiling at the heat of it.

"Ow! It burnt me!" He gasped, pressing a hand to his lips where it was stinging. Cooing, Jack leaned forward, removing the hand and soothing the pain with a quick brush of his own lips.

"Sorry, baby. You ok?" He questioned, running his thumb over Ianto's bottom lip. "Shall I kiss it better properly?" He asked with a wicked grin.

"Oh, I think you'd better." Ianto replied with a sly smile. Chuckling softly, Jack poked his tongue out to lap a line along Ianto's mouth before covering the young man's lips with his own, shifting to pull Ianto closer, and sliding a hand up to cup his face. Ianto responded eagerly, sliding a hand under Jack's shirt to stroke along the sensitive skin of his sides, and twisting to bring their bodies flush together, so that he was nearly sitting in Jack's lap. They spent long moments just kissing like that, and Ianto almost thought he'd relaxed, until the fire made a popping sound and he nearly jumped out of his skin with fright. Jack laughed at him.

"Hey, you, calm down." He soothed, running his hands gently up and down Ianto's back. "Look, it's getting dark. I don't feel hungry. What do you say we turn in and get comfortable. Then maybe I can get you to relax a little?" Ianto nodded and leaned in for one last kiss before sitting back on his heels and watching Jack stand. The older man helped him up and then disappeared inside the tent. Ianto gazed at the opening to his dwelling for the weekend, and decided that he would have to treat this as some kind of adventure. It was the only way he was going to get through the holiday without going crazy. Sighing and bracing himself of a cold, sleepless night, Ianto pushed past the canvas and into the tent.