Oh man! I just had my Biology SAT II's this morning, and I'm almost positive I've failed. ): Studying for that is just one of the many reasons I haven't posted in a while. I'm sooooo sorry! Also, the poll was about even, but I have decided to not have Nessie pregnant. I hope that one day I can come back and write an alternate ending to this story where she is pregnant, because I had like 20 other chapters mapped out for that route.
Mine: A future filled with 5 finals and a biology regents
Not mine: Twilight. Edward. ):
I marched up the porch, threw the door open, and slammed it behind me. I could not believe them!
My mother and aunt had completely embarrassed me in front of Jacob― and half the mall. They had sent me in search of lip gloss in the back of Victoria's Secret, and had apparently bought that little outfit when I had left.
I knew they were only trying to piss off Jacob― trying to get even for the night of the party― but they had absolutely no right to do that!
After they had so carelessly shown off the garbage they had bought as their form of a "harmless prank" ― Alice's words― they had spent the entire rest of the trip giggling and making references to our mortification.
"Oh, did you hear?" Alice had asked Mom at one point. "I heard tonight's supposed to be a full moon." That did it!
I had stopped moving in the middle of the mall floor and wouldn't take another step. Mom and Alice were behind me (Jacob was trailing behind them, his eyes cast down), and they immediately came over.
"We're going. Now." I spoke the words low and menacingly, making sure they knew I wasn't acting on humor. Not at all.
"Nessie, we were just playing around." My mom placed her pale hand against my arm, but I ignored her attempt at kindness.
I hadn't said a word, but instead turned around and began walking back towards the entrance near where we had parked. I left the building and stepped out into the cloudy weather, stomping my way over to the car. I heard the beep as my aunt reluctantly unlocked the door from behind me. I tossed the bags into the back seat and jumped in after them.
Needless to say, I didn't say a word the entire ride home.
And now, here I was, taking the steps two at a time to my bedroom. I barely registered the fact that only Emmett and Jasper were home, but I continued regardless. I fell onto my bed in a heap and started crying instantly.
I couldn't take this any more. All the little glances and whispered jokes my family thought I didn't hear them say when they thought I wasn't paying attention. Jacob and I had come under their scrutiny, and, while I knew we probably deserved it as of late, it still didn't make it feel any better.
Mom was the first person to walk into my room.
"Baby, I'm really sorry." She walked slowly to my bed and sat down, inching closer and draping an arm over my hunched back. "We love you, and we're just trying to make a joke out of the situation. Because, right now, I'd rather let my anger and frustration play out in comedy, instead of inflicting damage to Jacob."
I looked up at her in slight puzzlement.
"Renesmee, you're my little girl. And, I know that growing up, you'll make plenty more mistakes like the one you made at that party, but it doesn't make this any easier for me. I don't want to see you grow up yet; I still want you to be my little angel."
I moved closer into her side and reached for her hand. I felt really guilty. "Mama―" She smiled at my choice of endearment― "I'll always be your girl. But I won't always be your little girl. In our world, I might just have to grow up kind of quickly."
"And one day you're going to leave, Ness," she murmured, stroking my hair lovingly. She saw me open my mouth to protest, but shook her head and continued. "I know it might not be in the near future, but sooner or later, you are going to go off and live your own life. You won't want to live your life with your parents forever."
I looked up at the young face of my mother and was shocked to see her eyes shining sadly, indicating that she would be crying if she could. "Mama, I'm not going anywhere. I'llbe righthere as long as you need me."
My mother frowned right away at those words, but I couldn't understand why. I didn't have time to question her expression before Alice came bounding into the room.
"Sorry, Nessie," she said, plopping down on the other side of me. "We didn't really understand how much we were upsetting you. Jasper explained what you were feeling to me. We let it get out of hand, didn't we?"
I nodded. "Yeah, but maybe I was just being over sensitive at the moment. I'm sorry if I've been pissy lately."
"Apology accepted," she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. "But you owe me another shopping trip.
I groaned while she chuckled, and then I stood up from my bed. "Let's go downstairs." They both followed me out the door and down the stairs, where I found my uncles sitting on the couch with Jacob.
"Sup, kiddo?" Emmett grinned widely at me and I couldn't help but return the smile.
"I'm doing well, Uncle Emmett. Well, I am now." I smirked at Jacob as I ended, and he stood up from his seat uncomfortably. He walked towards me and cocked his head.
"Let's go take a little walk, Nessie." His voice sounded off, but I figured it was just from being near my family. The last couple of days had made things more than a bit awkward.
"Sure," I replied, walking towards him. I moved to hold of his hand, and, while blinking, I almost missed his tiny hesitation. I shook it off and grabbed his large, warm digits with my own.
"Don't try any funny business out there!" Emmett called. I just turned, scowled at him, and looked back to Jacob again. He led us out the door, and we took off, walking across the huge lawn. I let go of his hand and called out, "Race ya!" I didn't give him time to respond, and continued on, hitting the woods at a dead sprint.
Whenever we went out into the woods, we'd play little games like this. So when I didn't hear him following a few minutes later, I turned on my heels and dashed back to him. I found him a mile back, running at an almost leisurely pace.
I touched his cheek, letting my thoughts float into his own. Jake, what's wrong? I asked, making my confusion and concern obvious by my internal tone.
"Renesmee," he began. I already knew it wasn't something good― he rarely used my full name like that. "It's just, well, with everything that's happened in the last few days, I think…." He trailed off sheepishly, playing with the leaves on the ground with the toe of his shoe.
"What do you think, Jacob?" I asked cautiously.
"Well, I heard you and your mom talking upstairs, and it got me thinking. And I think maybe we should slow down our relationship. I mean, we've got so much time ahead of us, and you're still so young―" I cut him off right there.
"Jake! I'm not a child! I may have only lived a few years, but I'm by no means a child! You know that very well!" I was shouting, but I could care less.
"Nessie, you're seven! You can look, dress, and act like a high schooler, but the fact remains that you were born seven years ago. And I still want to be with you― of course I do! But we shouldn't be as… intimate. Kissing is great, but we can't let it get out of hand."
"But, Jacob, why?" Why now? We had been kissing for a year now. I liked kissing him… I loved kissing him.
"Because, Ness, I'm sick of feeling like I'm taking advantage of you. Geez! There, I said it!"
I just stared at him, my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe what he was saying. But he wasn't done yet.
"I'm twenty three, Renesmee! I stopped growing when I was sixteen, I'm physically closer to twenty five, and I've lived for twenty three years. You look sixteen and you've only been around for seven years. Do you not understand how confusing this all is to me? I feel sick just thinking about what happened the other night."
"You regret having sex with me?" I spoke the words so low that I wasn't sure he'd hear them. But he did, and he instantly softened his face.
"That's not what I meant. It was… amazing. But wrong. It was so wrong. Your family has made me realize just how unethical it was."
"Oh yeah," I retorted bitterly. "Let's listen to my family when it comes to our relationship."
"Ness, please. You know I love you. You're my everything. But… I just think― for now, at least― we should slow things down. Just a little."
"Slow down?" I whispered angrily? "How's this for slowing down, Jacob Black? We're done!" I growled and turned my back on him.
I couldn't deal with someone who wanted to treat me more like a little sister than a girlfriend. Plus, all I ever did was get Jacob in trouble. We'd both be better off this way.
I stormed off back towards the house, ignoring Jacob as he called after me. I definitely did not want to talk to him right now. With the turmoil I was currently feeling, I wasn't sure I could talk.
I flew back through the trees, the hot tears on my face blurring my vision slightly. But I couldn't care less. When I broke through the tree line onto the lawn, I somehow mustered the strength to go even faster. In less than a second, I reached the stairs, and then I was opening the door viciously. For the second time today, I slammed the door behind me, rattling it in its hinges.
Songs for this chapter: Holiday by Boys Like Girls
Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
Did any of you catch the hidden New Moon reference I snuck in there? See if you can find it. :P
Don't worry! They'll eventually get back together. But one thing I've learned from Twilight: what's a relationship without a few obstacles? Maybe it'll take some other relationships― and a healthy dose of jealousy, of course!― to bring these two back together.
Please review! It would cheer me up after that awful fail of a test this morning. :D