Questions for Edward

Questions for Edward.

I got these from Fang's blog

Edward is answering them

Bella, Alice, and Rosalie are making comments

MWHAHAHAHAHA!!

I do not own Twilight, or the questions. They belong to James Patterson and Stephanie Meyer.

HI!! BELLA HERE!! The guys are out hunting so Alice and I got bored. We're browsing everybody's computers and making comments. Right Alice?

Yep!! Bella, I think fan girls want to know more about Edward

Wow. Really? I had absolutely no idea.

DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT?

No

Why would Edward have a Jamaican accent?

Because fan girls are weird.

DO YOU MOULT?

Weirdo.

Molt what?

I think feathers.

WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN?

AHAH. Like I would tell you. I would have a million more fan girls chasing after me if I told them I was a cancer. Aw, crap.

Alice.

Yes.

Let's laugh evilly.

Why?

Because it's fun.

Okay.

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

HAVE YOU TOLD CARLISLE I LOVE HIM YET?

I could tell Carlisle if you wanted me to but Esme may have to kill you

WOOOAAAAA!!

I'm SCARED FOR LIFE!!

DOES NOT HAVING A POWER MAKE YOU ANGRY?

Haven't you been reading the books? I read minds. Dummy. Oh. Bella says I dazzle people. I'm staring at you. You have forgotten about every else but me. Haha. DAZZLE

DAZZLED

BELLA! SNAP OUT OF IT!

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY?

Can you see me doing The Soulja Boy?

To answer your question, yes he can.

It's hiliarious!!

DOES EMMET KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY?

Jasper does.

THAT"S EVEN MORE FUNNY!!

I concur.

DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS?

No, of course not. Why would I use hair products? COUGH maybe.

Yes. Edward uses hair products.

No he doesn't

Yes he does.

HE DOES NOT!
HE DOES TO!
Why are we arguing over whether Edward uses hair products or not?

I do not no.

Alice "no" is spelled like this. "know"

Oops.

DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR FEATHERS?

Vampires don't have feathers

This person is weird.

WEIRDO!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE?

Romeo and Juliet. It makes Bella cry. I'm not going any further with that question

Bella, were is he going with this?

Bella?

Bella?

OH MY CARLISLE! SHE DISOPPEARED!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SONG?

I have a song library. I can't have favorites. Anything from the 50's

This is so very true

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SMELL?

Do you REALLY have to ask that question? Bella. Duh.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! BELLA!!



DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY?

They are kind of annoying. Emmet wants to answer them after I'm done.

WE HAVE TO GO SEE THAT!!

YEP! We'll take Rosalie.

Take me where?

Help us comment!

YES ROSE!

Uhhh….OK

IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN A STREET AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME?

No. Bella would.

YES I WOULD

I would have to kill someone if they randomly hugged Jasper.

Jasper would have already killed him

True.

DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED?

I'm not answering.

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SECRETLY HUGGGED!!
CRAZY PERSON!!
WEIRDO!!

ARE YOU GOING EMO CAUSE ALICE IS STEALING EVERYONE'S POWERS INCLUDING YOURS?

I still can read minds.

I AM NOT STEALING EVERYONES POWERS!!
No, you choose to annoy us.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD?

Mountain lion.

That's a "duh" question

WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?

I haven't eaten since this weekend. I had mountain lion.

Whatever.

This isn't worth my comment.

You just commented.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, no.

This person has weird questions.

Yep

DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN BELLA ALMOST CHOSE JACOB OVER YOU?

OF COURSE I DID!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO YOU LIKE MAX?

I do not know this Max you speak of.

Who is this Max person?

Emmet knows.

He does?

Yep. You really don't want to know

I'm GOING TO KILL HIM!!

DO YOU LIKE ME?

I think you're funny.

I think you are annoying.

DOES EMMET LIKE ME?

He'll tell you when he answers these.

HE BETTER NOT!!

DO YOU WRITE DEPRESSING POETRY?

Poetry, yes. Depressing, no.

Well, Bells, does he?

Yes

SQUEALS

SQUEALS

IS IT ABOUT BELLA?

Duh.

OMG!!

OMG!!

Is Edward romantic, or what?

I wish Emmet was like that, the idiot.

IS IT ABOUT JACOB?

Why would I write poetry about Jacob Black?

WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT COME FROM!!

IS IT ABOUT CARLISLE?

No. Definetly no.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

ARE YOU GOING TO BLOCK THIS COMMENT?

I guess not.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

Jeans and a shirt. Wow. Do you see how blunt I am?

Bella, what was he wearing?

Bella?

Bella?

Hello?

DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS?

Laughs

Laughs

I may have to kill someone.

DO YOU FIND THIS COMMENT PERSONAL?

Why don't you ask Bella?

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Alice, I need your samurai sword.

Here you go.

You have a samurai sword?

DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES?

Why? It rains. A lot. No sun. Therefore, no need for sunglasses.

So much rain!

DO YOU WEAR YOUR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT?

To busy watching Bella sleep.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO YOU SMOKE APPLES, LIKE US?

Alice does

I DO NOT SMOKE APPLES!!

Alice.

WHAT?!
Don't lie

FINE! Maybe

DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?

Brunettes. Again, Duh.

BELLA!

I know

DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES?

OH MY CARLISLE. Vampires. What idiot is sending me this? I hate fangirls.

HOLELY COW!!

THESE PEOPLE A STUPID!!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Alice why did you just laugh evilly?

Because it's fun.

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING BELLA?

No.

Blinks

Blinks

Blinks

WERE YOU EXPERIMENTING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY?

I have been straight for the past hundred and seventeen years

WHAT THE?

Laughs

Laughs

Shut up.

WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY?

Yes.

I may have to kill him if he were gay.

DO YOU SECRETLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU EMO?

I'm not Emo. Jasper is.

TRUE!!

I AM NOT EMO!!

CRAP!
THEY"RE HOME! QUICK LOCK THE DOOR!

Whoosh

lock

Pound

Bella, let me in.

Go away, Edward

Laughs

It makes no since! This is my room!

laughs

laughs

laughs

Whatever.

ARE YOU EMO?

Whatever.

Edward is not Emo!

DO YOU LIKE EGGS?

NO.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS?

Sure, as long as it isn't Bella.

BELLA!!

BELLA!!



DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

Do you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the whole world?

Yes.

DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT BELLA?

OF COURSE I DO!

Laughs

Laughs

Face turns really red Laughs

HAS ALICE EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT BELLA AND GONE 'OMG' AND YOU WERE LIKE 'D:'?

hahahahahahahahahahaha. No. I read the minds. Alice tells the future. I have read Emmet's mind when he is thinking about Rosalie, though. Shudder

That would be weird.

It would be funny to see your expression.

I want to know what Emmet was thinking!!

I don't

Me either.

DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB?

No. He's yellow and square

Spongebob is the spawn of Satan.

Yes!!

I concur

DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT SPONGEBOB?

In all of them, I blow him to Jupiter.

KAPLOOY!!

CAN YOU COOK?

What do you mean by cook? I prefer raw. Bella cooks her food. Weirdo.

YOU COOK YOUR FOOD?!
uhhhhhh yeah

WEIRDO!

It must be a human thing.

DO YOU LIKE TO COOK?

No

Why would Edward cook?

Ummmmmmmmmmm, I shall ponder this

ARE YOU LIKE, A HOUSEWIFE?

EDWARD CULLEN A HOUSE WIFE?! I laugh at you.

Can you imagine Edward being a fifties housewife?

laughs

laughs

laughs

DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL?

My inner turmoil is about Bella and whether I should turn her or not, etc.

BELLA!!

WHY DON'T YOU POST PHOTOS ANYMORE?

?

WHY DON'T YOU POST YOUR DRAWINGS ANYMORE? THEY WERE REALLY GOOD OKAY.

DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA?

I like breathing. No. I like smelling.

I, personally, like breathing, too. Where Edward goes, I go. I like land.

DO YOU THINK IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE?

Of course

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER?

We use to live in Vegas

COOL!

Don't get any ideas, Bella. I am still planning your wedding.

laughs

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?

I read minds. I don't need a poker face.

Is he any good at poker?

Yep.

He took three-hundred dollars from me once!

OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES EMMET HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE?

Yes. I can see right through it.

laughs

CAN HE EVEN PLAY POKER?

Yeah. He gets furious when I take his money.

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

DO YOU LIKE POKING PEOPLE, HARD?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

That's weird

Yes it is

BUT ITS FUN!
poke

ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS?

No. I'm Edward Cullen. Do I have to say anymore?

Nope

Here, Edward, you can have your room and computer back.

Thank you.

Let's see what they did to it. OH MY CARLISLE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!