Title: 27 Tries
Chapter: 3/7 (Planned for 6 but then… life happened.)
Pairing: Sanji x Zoro
Warnings: Zoro may seem slightly OOC and this work contains shounen-ai as in there is/will be a guy liking/loving another guy.
Crossposted to the zosan community via my livejournal account.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. All characters belong rightfully to Oda Echiro.

Author's note: I'm not dead! I know it's been a long time since this fic was last updated (like a year… or two) but don't give up dear readers! I'm slow and writer's block sucks and I know this doesn't exactly make things better because I said I'd be done in 6 chapters and now I won't be but here's the tenth time. For those people who liked this enough to keep reading it.

Attempt 10: While he's preparing dinner

"Honestly? I'm starting to think I should just permanently ban you from the galley."

"What? Why?"

"Why do you think shithead? Oh wait. I forgot that you obviously-"

"'Don't'? That comeback's getting old shit cook. Try using a little creativity."

"-can't considering how there's a vast amount of open space between your ears-"

"Oh, like that's creative."

"-which is the unfortunate result of a combination of you obviously being dropped on the head as a baby-"

"I was not dropped on the head when I was a kid!" But ifhe was then he was even more of a bad ass than he had originally thought- fresh out of the womb and already capable of withstanding potentially fatal hits!

"-and the amount of times you hit your head in battle, killing off all the brain cells that would have taken up that space and leaving-"

"Oi cook, I said a little creativity." That bastard. This was just another prime example of how he never listened to him!

"-two pathetic brain cells, which somehow managed to survive the abuse, to exist all alone in that empty space-"

"I get it. Proposing while you were preparing dinner was a bad idea. Feel free to stop anytime soon." Seriously, didn't the swirly-browed pervert need to breathe?

"-where they have to work overtime rubbing together so that you can perform the most basic of tasks leaving the capability to think pretty low on the list of priorities."

"How was I supposed to know that you'd be so surprised by the proposal- which you shouldn't be, by the way, because this is my tenth attempt- that you'd unknowingly add mushrooms to the dish which Usopp just happens to be allergic to?"

Lying in the bed set up in sickbay, where the two had been standing beside during their argument, Usopp groaned and sat up, effectively cutting off Sanji's response and halting the conversation.

"Fatally allergic. I'm fatally allergic to mushrooms."

Zoro snorted. "Usopp, you're fatally allergic to everything."

"My throat swelled up and I couldn't breathe. That actually constitutes as 'fatally allergic'."

"I already said I was sorry! And besides it's not really my fault- the shit cook's the one who put the mushrooms in the dish in the first place!"

"My fault-" Sanji spluttered.

"You're the one who distracted him. Why did you think it was a good idea to propose while he was prepping dinner anyway?" At this Sanji looked delighted.

"You forget Usopp, that he obviously can't think…"

And as Sanji then proceeded to give a very detailed, very long description as to why not, Zoro decided he hated them both.

Attempt 10 – FAILURE
Status: Back to Usopp's drawing board.
Zoro notes: You know what? I'm not sorry. This is what Usopp gets for trying to take back his drawing board when I am obviously not done using it. Which I maintain is also the bastard cooks fault, by the way (because he still hasn't said yes the godddamn bastard.)

To Be Continued…