Don't let me go
A Jalex story.
Summary: Keeping a secret is hard; especially since I'm keeping two secrets. One is, I'm in love with my brother. The other one is... my parents are gone. Justin tries to protect his sister from something that happened.. something that she can never tell a soul. Why can't anybody find their parents? What happened to Alex that has changed her so drastically?
The heat surrounds me, swarming around my head and body as I sit inside of the bathtub. Tears are streaming down my face, making my vision blurry. The piping hot water slightly stings my skin and I can somewhat see out of the corner of my eyes, blood slowly surrounding me, coming up in watery puddles.
The sound of the running water enfolds me in its noise.
I pull my legs closer to me, pressing them against my burning chest. I wrap my arms around them, trying to protect myself from the horrible world around me.
"Alex, are you in here?" I hear a familiar voice ask me through the closed door.
I turn my head slightly toward the door and my eyes bore into the door. I can hear the sound of my movements, making the water move with my movements.
"Alex…" He whispers closely to the door.
I feel myself rise out of the bathtub, water sliding down my body. I step one foot out of the tub and another. Water is dripping down on the ground and I move forward, making puddles where I stood only moments before.
Without commanding my body to, I unlock the door and gently grasp the knob, making my fingers turn deathly white. I slowly open the door, making goosebumps arise on my skin as cold air slaps me all over my body.
"Alex, let me in." Justin says as I showcase my body to him, but his eyes are only on my own, never leaving them. I move aside, right before I tell me body to, and he steps in.
Tenderly, he takes hold of my hand on the knob and pries it off and cradles my hand in his own, his thumb gently caressing the stinging palm. I see him gently nudge the door shut with his elbow. It closes with a soft click.
"It wasn't your fault." He whispers, coming close so I can smell his familiar vanilla like scent. One hand holds onto my hand as the other lays on my arm. Warmth spreads throughout me from his fingers on my cold shoulder.
I lean forward and lay my head against his covered chest. His arms wrap around my forever cold body and his warmth spreads inside of my body, almost making me feel fully warm.
"You can't blame yourself. It wasn't you." Justin says gently, his voice surrounding my ears.
"But-" My soft voice says.
"No!" He abruptly snaps and I feel myself stiffen in his grasp. But almost instantaneously, I relax again. His arms tighten around my body, as though to indicate he will never let go.
"It wasn't and never will be," He says strongly, his voice vibrating by my ear.
"I love you." He mutters gently, pulling me closer to him until there is no possible way there is a space between us.
Even though I can barely register his words in my head, I feel my heavy heart lift and flutter with happiness at those three words. I can feel my lips pull up into a very small smile.
"As a brother." He says gently and suddenly I feel tears prick my eyes. I know he only loves me as a brother but I want it to mean so much more. So much to mean in a lovers sense.
"Do you need help?" He suddenly asks but I can't respond. My body feels lifeless against his and I close my eyes hoping to get the sense of life again.
But my body pulls out of his grasp and I feel myself walk toward the bathtub. I get back in and get into the same position I was in only minutes before.
Justin walks over to me and kneels down. He leans over and places a kiss on my forehead, lingering for a moment longer than he should.
"When you're done, come to my room. I'll fix up those cuts for you. Then they'll be here. Don't worry." He says gently and his gorgeous brown eyes stare into my own and I almost feel like I'm under a trance.
But he moves away and sends a half smile my way, before he turns and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I stare at the door for a long time, tears suddenly erupting again down my dirty cheeks. I look down at the water and see it a tinted red color. I dip my index finger into it and lift it up. Instead of seeing the color red, I see an almost clear droplet of water and in it, I can see the truth. The truth that will hurt me for the rest of my life. The truth that will scare me for all eternity.
It's my fault.
I sit on my older brother's bed, my dark brown hair dripping water from the soaking strands.
I'm dressed in a cotton pink shirt that sits on the shoulders with a white cami underneath. On my legs, I wear grey baggy pants that are a size too big but right at this very moment, I can care less.
"Give me your hand." Justin says gently, his voice summoning me to the present and not from the safe, protected place I have in my mind.
I look in front of me and there he is, kneeling down in front of me, his hand out, waiting for mine. I place my hand gently in his own, making a soft pang. A jolt of electricity runs throughout our connected hands, traveling throughout my whole body.
I can feel a small blush gently rise up on my cheeks and I will it to go away, especially since I'm so out of it and I'm acting nothing like I usually do. Anything out of the abnormal, Justin will probably figure it out and become concerned.
I look down at Justin as his cool fingers trace the cut on my hand. It stings slightly but I don't complain from his gentle touch as he caresses the palm of my hand. He reaches out next to him and picks up a damp wash cloth.
"It might sting a little bit…" He says softly, seeming to try and ease the pain that hasn't even started yet. I brace myself for the sharp pain as he nears the cloth close to my hand. With much care, he grazes the cut gently with the cloth and even though the pain is minimum, I scream out, tears suddenly pouring down my face.
Justin immediately stops and stands up. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest, where I know I'm safe.
"Shh… It's ok…" He whispers over and over again, soothing my jumpy nerves. My sobs slowly calm down to a slight hiccup and I lean myself closer to him.
Justin pulls apart slightly and brings my hand up to him again. "I have to put a Band-Aid on it." He says and I can see the look of sadness in his eyes. Gently, he puts the cloth back on the cut and I sob, but thankfully I am able to control myself… Well sort of.
Finally, he pulls the cloth quickly away and puts a long, thick Band-Aid on my palm. I stare down at it and I almost peel it off, but Justin put his hand on top of it, making me look over at him. He is smiling at me. My heart skips a beat and I can't help but smile back.
For the rest of the evening, he put things on my wounds and bandages them up. To everyone else, it would seem as though I was in a horrible accident that made me get all these cuts and bruises. Thank goodness I don't have any cuts or bruises on my face; otherwise I won't be able to hide them under my clothes.
"When they come, you say nothing. Don't even mutter a word. I'll do all the talking." He says quietly, as though someone could hear us if we spoke loudly.
"Do you promise me?" He asks. I stare at him, and I know my eyes must look lifeless. They must look dead. But even though I want to scream at myself for not being the down to earth Alex and the I'm so popular Alex, and I want to say what happened, even though I'm not sure I can even form the words at the moment, I just can't refuse him. No matter what I do, I can't refuse him.
"Do you promise me?" He asks again, taking hold of my hands this time, making me come back from my mind to him.
I look around at the room and notice that we had somehow arrived here in the living/kitchen room. I look down at the familiar couch and even though it seems so familiar, it isn't it's so foreign, so different. Everything in this whole house is different.
And then I look at Justin. He's the only thing in my whole world that isn't different. That hasn't changed. That will always be here to protect me. No matter what I do… or did.
His eyes plead to me and even though I want to speak, I know now is not the time. Not now, not ever. No matter how much I want to say how much I love him, I can't… and I won't. It's wrong. It's sick. It's sickly right.
I suck in a breath and without even second thinking myself, I turn to him and grip his hand, tightly.
Hi people! I really hope everyone likes this prologue! I actually got this idea from watching the TV series on FX, 'Damages'! It's an AWESOME show! It won't match the story line or anything, but I just came up with this idea. I hope you guys like this story! Please review and tell me what you think! I would love to hear from you! :) Thank you for reading! :)
Also, this story is going to be a very different type of story that I have ever written. It will still be my style and everything, but it will go back in time every so often. At the beginning of the chapter, I will let the readers know when it is in the past. So, I hope you all enjoyed what you read and please review! Thank you! :)