I'll Love You Even In Death
This is a dedication to Michelle, my amazing friend and beta D She loves it and I hope you guys do too! ((grins))
Declaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, then the world is flat.
They were finally caught.
After two years of sinful happiness, they were finally caught. How could they be so caught up in their activities to not hear the footsteps?
An eighteen year old nude girl sat on a bed, wrapped in a red comforter. Her midnight silken hair was tousled all around her as her head rested on her raised knees.
The shouts from behind the locked door increased, along with multiple sounds of blows- as if someone was being hit…as if he was being the one getting the blows. He was taking all the blame. And why really, was that too much to wonder?
It was because he simply loved her, that's why.
She tried to block out the noises, covering her ears roughly as her sobs increased. He didn't have to treat her so well. They'd known each other since forever, and yet, he was always the one who protected her. She was so pathetic, too weak, but he still loved her.
"How the fuck could you do that to her?"
She couldn't take it. She was to blame as much as him, and he knew it as well. Rocking back and forth where she sat on his bed, her deep blue eyes were shining with unshed tears before falling down her rosy cheeks. She got up on shaky legs, rushing towards the door to open it.
It was locked.
"Open up! I'm to blame, too!" she wailed, as his loud groan of pain was heard. He was directly opposite her leaning on the door.
"Shut up!" she heard him whispered hoarsely. "Don't try to be the hero here."
"What the hell are you guys talking about?" a man's voice roared behind a tearful older woman.
So it was okay for him to be the hero but not her? Did he love her that much to take all the blame? She sobbed even harder as her hands fumbled with the door. She screamed louder when she heard something, or more like someone, being pushed forcefully against the same door, preventing her from getting the door open after unlocking it.
The comforter was now on the floor, exposing her nude body. She looked around the room frightfully. Her eyes landed on the ruffled bed, making her cry even harder. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying her eyes out, and her face had a bright sheen from the never ending tears.
That bed, his bed, held many memories of them. Countless times they had made endless love without a care in the world, but she was always praying, hoping that they wouldn't get caught. They never really thought they would. Everything was to be played out perfectly.
She couldn't remember a time when she wasn't in his arms. She loved him so much, a love that should never be. But one can't choose who to love, could they? The heart never listened to the mind; it couldn't be shut down at will. She hiccupped, wiping the tears from her glassy eyes.
She couldn't take it…it was too much. Why was her love for him so wrong?
The silence on the other end made her look up at the door. The barrier that kept her from her love, her life. Rushing back to the door, she slid down against the door, knocking once on it. She heard two knocks in reply which made her only burst out in a fresh round of tears.
"I'm so sorry."
She heard a deep forced chuckle on the other side. Her sobs only increased as her small hands banged tiredly on the door.
"Don't cry, baby. I'm the one who should be saying sorry," he sighed softly, and she heard him ease up closer to the door, leaning on it.
"Please…don't be like that," she sniffled. "I love you so much, but all I ever caused you was pain." Her head was hurting her from so much crying, but it didn't compare to the ache of her heart.
"Idiot. I'll always love you…no matter what."
She only cried harder. God, she was so weak. Two years of unconditional love, and this was the outcome? She was prepared for the confession, but she didn't know they would react in that way.
"Inuyasha…" she cried out. "I don't know why I'm so weak." She sniffled and gasped for air. "I wish we weren't who we are."
"You're not weak pumpkin." She heard him move to the side of the door, and she opened the door hurriedly for him quietly, locking the door when his whole body was in the room. "You're the strongest woman I know." He dragged her nude body in his arms, wincing at her weight.
She tried to pull away from him, hating herself even more, but he was too strong. He was always the strong one. She twisted her body to him, gently touching his bruised face that had multiple shades of colours.
"Why didn't you fight back?"
She knew he was the best fighter in the neighbourhood, so the fact that he never fought back made her feel even more pathetic. Why was it that he loved her? How could someone feel anything for someone so weak?
"I needed to take the punishment; it means I can continue being with you." He smiled through his pain, his bruised lips giving him more pain from stretching it to smile.
She tried to smile with him, but only broke out in a sob. His weak hands came up to brush her tears away and she closed her eyes in bliss. His touches were something she always longed for by the second. She opened her eyes, leaning over to kiss his numb lips softly. "I love you, Inuyasha. I'll never stop loving you." She was about to pull away as not to hurt him, but his arms moved in her hair, bringing her face closer to him and deepening the kiss. He groaned in mixed pain and pleasure when she slowly started to kiss him back, but he didn't care…he needed this.
After a few minutes of their tongues battling with passion, the need for air overtook them. They broke apart reluctantly, and Inuyasha's hand started to massage her exposed breast. "How could something this right be so impure?" He leaned down and kissed her growing aroused nipple. "Why does my love for you have to be a sin?" He closed his swollen eyes when her hands started finger combing his hair.
"It's only wrong to them…not us." She smiled her beautiful smile through her tears. "I can't live without you, Inuyasha, and I won't." She moaned softly, when he started kissing her exposed skin that was in reach. "Let's run away," she concluded. "I've saved up enough money, and we both can look for jobs," she reasoned. When he started shaking his head from her idea, she tried raking her brains for more. "I'll do anything…anything to be with you. We can start over; become complete strangers to the people around us." He kept shaking his head negatively and more silent tears started running down her face.
"I can't do that to you," he reasoned. "You're graduating soon, and that scholarship you wanted is only inches out of your reach."
"They want to send me away…" he started.
"No!" she shouted, pulling him closer to her. "They can't! I'll die, Inuyasha! I'm not strong." She started to sob again. "I'm never strong; I could never live without you."
"It's for two years…" he continued sadly. "I don't have a choice and I figured that I'll just learn there and become someone so we can then run away together." He pulled her shocked form against his pained body. "I want us to have a sure future if we're going to run away. You have to finish off school and everything." The wetness of her tears cooled his heated body.
"Where are they taking you?"
"In the Caribbean…" he whispered.
"That…that's way too far, Inuyasha! I just know that they will try something." She grasped the front of his bloodied shirt frightfully. "Inuyasha…" she cried out.
"Inuyasha!" A male voiced roared behind the lock door. "Go get your stuff and clean up. You're leaving tonight."
"Tonight?" Kagome questioned, horror-stricken. "But…why?!"
"Kagome…" A calm soft voice filtered through the door. "Please understand the situation, honey."
"What's there to understand?" she shouted, getting up in a rush, to stand in front of the locked door. "You just want to break us apart!"
"I'm not your baby!" she screamed. "Don't do this!"
"We only want what's best…"
"Then let us be together!" Angry tears started to rush out of her beautiful eyes and Inuyasha got up to hug her closely to his warm frame. He squeezed her more to his frame when she started to shake with suppress anger.
"You guys are committing a sin!" the woman said, more angrily.
"If a love so pure is sin, then let me burn in hell!"
The door was suddenly broken open from the tall man. When his eyes landed upon them, they turned to an angry glower at the two of them. "Let go of each other!"
Kagome gripped Inuyasha's arm around her more. "Please don't do this to us," she repeated sorrowfully.
"We love you both, that's why we're doing this."
"If you loved us, then you'd want to make us happy," she reasoned.
The man raised his hands to hit her. His powerful hand started moving towards her, but Inuyasha blocked it, taking the blow with a muffled cry of pain. "I'll go…get ready…just don't…don't hurt her," he said softly. He moved for the comforter and wrapped it around Kagome and kissed her softly on her lips before whispering 'I love you always' to her. He moved away from her with a sad look gracing his face before brushing past the adults quietly.
Kagome's sobs rented the air, filling the room with her hurting feelings. The woman moved forward to touch her, but Kagome backed away.
"Don't touch me," she whispered in a deadly voice. "Don't ever touch me again."
"You're old enough to understand, Kagome…so don't be like this."
She turned from them both, refusing to listen. She hated them all. She never thought she could hold so much hatred for anyone, but she was wrong.
Her life now had no meaning…
Void of feelings. That was a good way to explain her situation. A month…only one month had passed, and yet it felt like a decade. Did she ever admit how pathetic she was?
She dreaded going to school, knowing that Inuyasha wouldn't be there and she even hated to be home. It was, after all, the same home that would now never involve the Inuyasha whom she loved.
When she reached close to the house, she saw a big truck blocking the house. Looking at it in confusion, she rushed to the house hesitantly.
"What's…?" she trailed off when her eyes landed on the many boxes in the house.
They were going to move.
"Does Inuyasha know?" she questioned urgently. "You told him, right?"
"This is the only way we're sure that you guys won't do anything you might regret in the near future."
"Re… regret?" she laughed, shaking her head. "Look, Mizu..." she said, calling the woman by her name. "I love Inuyasha…love him so much that it makes me foolish." She moved to the woman who was packing some ornaments, kneeling down in front of her. She had no more pride left…nothing was worth holding on to if she didn't have Inuyasha.
"I kneel down before you…begging you to not do this!" Her beautiful blue eyes started to fill with unshed tears that saw her at her worst. "I can't…" She wiped away a stray tear. "I can't live without him…you promised I'd see him in two years. That, in itself, is torture to me." She shook her head. "But now - now you want to move so we can't find each other? You already took away everything from me. You even changed the number so he can't call us, and now you want to do this? To move?!"
It hurt so much to cry. Why did faith have to be so cruel?
"God's not happy with the way you and Inuyasha are acting!" Mizu whispered raspily, grasping Kagome's shoulders with both hands. Her watery eyes looked upon Kagome's face. "Do you think that these…feelings you both share for the other is pure?" She shook Kagome's stilled body, praying that something would stick. "Abominable! Shameful! Disgusting! Impurity! Those don't even scratch the situation."
Kagome was speechless; her quivering lips closed and open slightly numerous times. Why did God make it this way for her then? Did he just hate her? Was Inuyasha the only person who truly loved her? Call her a selfish fool; call her anything bad, she wouldn't care. Her heart wasn't some light switch to just turn on and off when wanted. Fine! Let the whole world push those adjectives on her, as long as she could continue loving Inuyasha.
Her blue eyes turned hard and cold once again, yanking her shoulders from the woman's hold. "I should do a whole description on you, don't you think?" She blinked once slowly, keeping her hard stare on the woman. "Evil! Pathetic! Nonsensical! Unfaithful!"
Kagome wet her dry lips, preparing to continue her charade after whispering the last word softly which made the middle-aged woman's breath hitch in surprise and fear.
"Now, you listen here, young lady."
Kagome turned angry teary eyes to the same man who hurt her Inuyasha. "I'll find him…I'll run away to the Caribbean."
"You won't find him there," he smirked at her. "He didn't go to the Caribbean."
She was shocked, hurt and angry. "He…didn't?"
"Did you think I'd let you both see each other again?"
"You… how could you do that?" she shouted, rushing to her feet and looking up at him with all her hatred.
"He's practically dead to you, so just forget about him and find someone else."
"Fuck you. Fuck you both," she whispered softly, walking towards her room… his room that always gave her some comfort. "I'm practically dead to the both of you as well."
Both adults sighed softly as the female walked to Inuyasha's room, slamming the door and locking it.
"What are we going to do?" the woman asked, tears running down her wrinkled face. "I hate it when she calls us by our name…"
The man scoffed at her. "They will never, ever see each other again!"
Kagome lay on the bed crying, trying to inhale the scent of Inuyasha. She refused to change anything…the same sheets that they last made love on was still in place.
Her hearts hurt so much.
She hugged the pillow close to her face, humming a soft tune to herself, staring off into space.
"I love you idiot…so get used to it…"
It was too much to bear without him not by her side.
"We'll always be together in body, mind, and soul, no matter what."
She smiled softly at the memory of his encouraging words. How could one person have such impact on her with just words?
"Our hearts are connected, always."
Her small hand moved to her chest, feeling the beat of her heart.
How could it be beating when she was dead? Where would she find peace again? Her heart felt so numb; overpowered by the strong love it held for her Inuyasha.
"I can't do this anymore," she sniffled, reaching for a pen and her poem book. That book was her only sanity. Even it was a deranged sanity that killed her everyday when she opened the book to write in it.
There was a picture of her and Inuyasha in it, hugging each other while she was in his lap. They had a peaceful look on their faces, gazing at each other with so much love and adoration. Her trembling fingers ran over the picture, outlining his face, as she smiled brokenly at the love that was so noticeable.
She sniffled loudly, starting to write a simple sentence.
I'll always love you, Inuyasha, and even though I'm dead, my love will shine as bright as a never sinking sun for you.
"I told you I wasn't strong enough," she cried softly, muffling the noise behind her palm, searching blindly with her other hand under the bed for something.
Sitting up on the bed, she lifted her long sleeves off of her arms. Her small wail echoed into loud cries as she looked upon the many cuts on her arms. They did nothing to numb the pain…nothing.
Taking the silver razor, she placed it against her wrist, her tears rushing down on the same place. "I'm too weak." She pressed down hard on the object, cutting her wrist deeply with the blade. Her arm started to cry crimson tears, and before the arm went numb, she did the same to her other hand.
Tears flowed freely…
Kagome pulled the picture out of her book, her blood spilling over on the bed and everywhere else it could. She couldn't stop her tears, not from her eyes nor from her wrists.
She fell forward, the effect of the cuts taking place. She felt it…her life was slipping…the pain was finally numbing after all the cuts she took over the passed few weeks.
She was too in love with him; a love that went far beyond sisterly love.
It was a sin, all right. A sin for siblings to love the way they did.
Her brother must hate her now…she could hear his voice in the distance.
It was his lingering voice that she would never hear again.
She sighed softly. "I love you, Inuyasha Takahashi."
Those was her last words, her last breath before death consumed her.
If she was never to see him again, then this life had no use for her. Yes, she took the cowardly way out, but she knew that way was the only way. She was too weak, too fragile to live a life without her one true love. Fate was too cruel, so cruel that they had to make her own brother her soul mate.
Her spilling blood ran over the picture…covering both their smiling faces with crimson liquid.
Yet even in death, her love was forever permanent and bright as the red stains her blood was making in the rug.
sniff Where's my Kleenex box when I need it?
Beta'd on August 20, 2008 while listening to HIM's "Wings of a Butterfly" and Nightwish's "The Phantom of the Opera."
A/N: please REVIEW!! ((grins))