A Normal Day at the Office
AN: So I'm very pleased with my first SasoDei oneshot! I hope you will be too! Don't forget to review, please!
Usually, a day at the office for Akatsuki members consisted of stress, paperwork, problems, maybe a bit of yelling, and office sex.
It was just a usual day at the office today.
A very stressed out redhead was currently kissing a blonde co-worker who should have been dealing with paperwork but was having problems concentrating. Yelling could be heard from across the hall.
"Danna…un." Deidara said breathlessly as Sasori trailed his kisses from the bomber's mouth to shoulder, unbuttoning Deidara's white oxford shirt he wore with his black pants. Pushing the shirt aside, the puppet continued his ministrations.
"Hidan!" Kakuzu barked. "The budget has already been set and there is no more room for your frivolous purchases!"
"Jashin damnit, Kuzu! If you would just listen to me for one fucking second, you would understand why I want a 20 meter waterfall and stream running through the lobby!"
"Augh!" Kakuzu growled. "That's ridiculous! I can't deal with this right now."
Kakuzu's office door slammed shut.
"You know you still love me, you damn bastard!!" Hidan called after him. His own slammed office door punctuated the statement.
-Sasori's Office POV-
Deidara rolled his eyes half-heartedly, sitting in Sasori's office chair. Sasori was half standing with one leg between Deidara's knees, hands on the armrests.
"They really do have the perfect example of a Love/Hate relationship, un."
"Hm?" Sasori questioned. He had been too transfixed with the taste and feel of his lover's collarbone he had just left a lovely pink mark on.
"Nothing, un…Just…" Deidara's eyes were becoming lidded with lust, but his conscience got the better of him.
"Danna, I um, I'm not quite finished with the paperwork Itachi wants done in-" Deidara looked at his wristwatch. "-Fifteen minutes, hm. We can't… not now." Deidara attempted to stand up, but Sasori gently pushed him back into the chair.
Looking at his blonde lovingly, Sasori asked:
"Would you rather me die from stress overload, or for Itachi to wait thirty minutes for his precious paperwork?"
Deidara's face held a slightly guilty look as he sat back. "…Okay, un." He agreed hesitantly. A rare smile graced Sasori's usually somber features.
He's not gonna be happy, tho-" Deidara started, but Sasori reconnected their lips with more passion than before.
"Mmph…" The bomber moaned into the kiss, unbuttoning Sasori's shirt.
Soon shed of the clothing above their waists, the phone in Deidara's pant's pocket rang.
Sasori pulled away slightly, raising one eyebrow as if asking "Are you going to answer that?"
Deidara winced, thinking he had a good idea of who was calling. With a lick to Sasori's lips, telling him 'this isn't over', the blonde regretfully pulled his ringing cell phone out and flipped it open.
"Paperwork." Itachi's voice reminded.
"Um…almost finished, un." Dei lied, in a slightly higher pitched voice.
If he hadn't been staring at the wall across the room, he would have seen Sasori's face light up as he had a very mischievous idea.
Itachi continued. "Deidara, I gave you four hours. It's a simple order; nothing complicated, unlike the ones I handle every single day. Why can you not get it done on time? Just once?"
Deidara was listening-or trying to listen- to what he was saying, but was also preoccupied with trying to figure out why he felt his belt being undone. Sasori unzipped and unbuttoned the bomber's pants, as Deidara tried to swat his hands away with his only free hand.
'What the hell does he think he's doing?!' Deidara thought, confused.
"Um… I swear, I'll have it done ASAP, Itachi." Deidara promised.
"You better, because Pein is going to be pissed if I can't follow up on reports on time. If I don't have them from you, how do you expect me to finish them? He'll have myass if it's not done."
Sasori had successfully undone Deidara's pants that had been tight in the groin area already, and was now unbuttoning the two buttons on the blonde's boxers and pulling his member out.
Looking down at Sasori to wonder what he was doing, Deidara spoke into his cell phone.
"Itachi, I swear I'll have them finished in- Augh!! H-holy hell!" Deidara exclaimed with a groan. He was suddenly breathless as he looked down to see that Sasori had just put his whole shaft into his mouth and was now mischievously looking up at his shocked lover. It might have been the sexiest thing Deidara had ever seen.
"Are you okay?" Itachi said over the phone, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
Sasori started moving back and forth slowly.
"Ha-ah… um… y-yeah, oh… Jeeze…I'm-m f-fine, unnn…." Deidara couldn't think right now- his brain was still trying to catch up with his nerves, at the moment. The overwhelming feeling of dealing with a pissed off Uchiha on the phone at the same time as getting blown by your lover… what a day he was having.
Deidara panted, grabbing onto Sasori's shoulder, begging him to stop, but not stop at the same time. He shut his eyes tightly; he didn't know what he wanted.
Sasori inwardly snickered at how well this was working as he moved Deidara's member in and out of his mouth a little slower in long back and forth, fluent motions.
"Aughhh…." Deidara mumbled.
"What the hell, Deidara? You don't sound the least bit fine. Where are you?"
"Ahh… ummmm…" If he was in a better state, he would have thought to lie, but right now, he could barely spit out the truth. "S-sasori no… D-danna's office! ..Un." He finally got out, between pants.
He could practically see Itachi's jaw nearly drop, as he realized why Deidara wasn't 'fine'.
Sasori could hear the blonde's breath becoming more ragged with every little gasp or murmur.
"Oh Jeeze, Dei. The paperwork is late because you two- ugh. Just let me speak to Sasori. Now."
"K-kay…un." Deidara said.
The redhead's tongue was running along the bottom vein on his member and Deidara felt like he was drowning in the heat of Sasori's mouth around him. He loved every thrilling second of it.
"Sasori!" Deidara cried out; he had begun moving a little faster now. "Oh god…ha- um… It's.. hahhhh…f-for you…" Deidara dug his fingernails lightly into Sasori's shoulder, shakily holding the phone out to his danna.
Deidara could finally somewhat breath as Sasori removed his mouth from around him and took the phone.
"Hello?" Sasori said, perfectly normal. You would have never known he was just giving his lover a blowjob, shirtless in his office.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Working on my stress level."
Sasori was using his thumb to circle the head of Deidara's member. This caused Deidara to let out a struggled grown/whimper loud enough that it reached over the phone.
"What the fuck? Is Deidara impaling himself with something?" Itachi said, sounding pissed off and a little weirded out. Sasori's hand fooled around different ways and motions as if he was toying with something aimlessly during a boring conference call.
"Not quite yet." Sasori answered with his intent implied. "Itachi, I think you will live- and so will Pein- if Deidara's order isn't finished for a mere thirty minutes."
"Do I have to threaten you?" Sasori asked.
"With what?" Itachi said, doubting Sasori had anything to threaten him with.
"Blackmail." Sasori ran his finger over Deidara's slit. The blonde whimpered audibly, clutching the armrests of the office chair.
"You-" Itachi started, but Sasori interrupted him.
"Would it be too much to add that I have a video of what you and Kisame did on… Oh, was it your desk, or his? I do remember you as uke, thought."
Sasori smiled evilly, hanging up his end of the line as well and tossing the phone on top of the paperwork strewn about his desk.
"He can wait an hour or two." Sasori told Deidara.
"Good...D-danna… Please, un." Deidara breathed, barely audible. Sasori's hand was still fooling around between the blonde's legs. Deidara was becoming desperate for realease.
"Yes, Dei-chan." Sasori said, lowering his head back down and taking Deidara into his mouth, doing wonderful things to him.
Hands wound their way into red locks, as Deidara moaned and panted, then with a final strangled call of "Danna!!", he reached his climax.
-Itachi's Office, An Hour Later POV-
Out of the corner of his eye, Itachi saw a folder full of paperwork slide under his locked door- his mouth connected with Kisame's, tongues in a headed battle.
"What's that?" Kisame asked, pulling away slightly and looking over to where Itachi's gaze had landed.
"...Paperwork," Itachi said, breathlessly then turned Kisame's face back to his and connected their mouths once again. His mind was on different matters, at the moment.
"Mm… this couch is comfy." Itachi mumbled a few moments later, breaking the kiss to slip his shirt off, following Kisame's to the pile on the floor.
"I always preferred the desk…" Kisame replied.
A blonde with his ear pressed to the office door snickered while walking down the hall, now knowing what Sasori had said about his blackmail was true.
AN: Please review? I personally like this one! Do you?