A/N: Even though the rating is M, this fanfic is not as explicit as others I wrote, nevertheless you are warned lol!
'Just go inside and talk to her…' Brock Hart told himself as he was standing in front of his house…well, his wife's house now that they were separated.
The separation thing had been going on for almost six months now, and they hadn't gotten any far with their relationship yet. It was all avoiding each other's eyes, barely say hi to one another when he picked up or dropped off the kids, and he knew that hurt Reba just as much as it hurt him. He remembered what it was like when they were still living together and they were madly in love with each other, there was talking between them, there was laughing, and joking around, and being partners. They had been the best of friends and the best of lovers. Now they lost everything they had together. All because of his mistake.
A mistake called Barbra Jean, a mistake who worked with him at his dental practice and who had been there for him after the worst fight he ever had with Reba. A mistake who had comforted him when he was weak and hurting and now he had to take his share of guilt, since his 'mistake' was knocked up because he had been stupid enough to throw away twenty wonderful years with Reba for one night of pleasure.
And here he was now, standing in front of the house, afraid to knock on the door and stand in front of her, because he knew that once he walked inside he should have said the things he dreaded the most. The reason of his visit was simple, he needed to talk to Reba and he had to ask her a divorce. He needed to marry Barbra Jean because she was pregnant with his child.
It was all a matter of needs. He had needed love and a family, and Reba had been there with him, giving him everything she could, giving up on her own dreams for him. Then his needs had changed. He had been needing attention and comfort, and when he thought Reba had given him everything she had, he had fallen in Barbra Jean's arms. She had been good to him, but now she needed him and he knew how much he had craved for a woman who needed him, a woman who could make him feel like a hero.
That was the trouble with Reba and him. They were both very young when they had gotten married, and Reba was weak and she needed him. She needed his support, and his comfort and his attention, it was everything a man with a big ego like him could ask for.
Then, as the years went by, the children came and Reba started to grow independent. And he thought he would be okay with it, but he was wrong. Every day he felt like they were growing apart, because she didn't need his help like before. It seemed to him like she didn't even need his love and affection anymore, she was becoming a strong woman who could be on her own every time she felt like it, and he felt himself being pushed farther and farther away from her.
Now he knew he was only fooling himself. Now he was stuck in this horrible situation and he was supposed to walk into that house and tell the woman he loved that he wanted a divorce.
Taking a deep breath, Brock walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell.
Reba Hart had just sat down on the couch with a book and a mug of coffee in her hands, ready to enjoy her evening alone at the house, when the doorbell rang.
With a groan, she put the book and the mug down and got up, slowly walking up to the door.
'I swear, if it's Mrs. Osbourne again looking for her dog in my back yard I will scream…' She thought as she rested her hand on the knob, opening the door.
"What can I-" She looked up and her heart skipped a beat, her words getting caught in her throat.
There standing in front of her was her husband, looking at her kind of bashfully.
"Hey, Reba…" He mumbled, trying to smile a little.
"Hi…" Reba's voice was barely more than a whisper, and she swallowed hard, trying to clear her throat, before stepping aside. "Come on in…"
"Thanks…" Brock looked down and stepped inside, letting her close the door behind him.
"So…what brings you here?" Reba asked with the little voice she managed to find, folding her arms over her chest as to brace herself from any sudden blow his words could throw at her.
"I…erm…" He stuttered a bit, trying to find a good answer that would not involve the main reason quite yet. He didn't want it to come out suddenly and too harshly, he wanted to take his time telling her so that the blow wouldn't be too hard.
"The kids are not here, you knew that, didn't you?" She suddenly asked, smiling a little at his attempt to answer.
He just looked up at her for a second and smiled apologetically.
Reba shook her head slightly, scoffing, "Cheyenne is at drill camp, and Kyra and Jake have sleep-overs at friends'…" She explained. "You must've known that or at least thought so, since it's Saturday…" She raised an eyebrow.
"Well…yeah… Did I interrupt anything?" Brock cringed a bit at the perspective of interrupting anything his wife must have been doing, he didn't want their meeting to start with the wrong step.
"Just a lonely reading night… nothing important…" She smiled softly and looked at him, waiting for him to speak. When he didn't, she sighed and rolled her eyes, "Are you gonna tell me why you are here since you knew the kids wouldn't be here?"
Brock looked up at her with a painful expression on his face and she mentally kicked herself for making it sound so harsh.
"I…I'm sorry, Brock, I didn't mean to be…nasty… I just can't think of anything that might make you want to come here while the kids are out…"
'You.' Brock mentally answered her unspoken question, but he knew that was a tiny word he couldn't say out loud. Not with things being the way they were anyway.
"I just came to talk with you…" He said in a small voice, staring at his feet.
Reba felt her heart start to race and she swallowed hard as she looked at him, "Talk about what?"
Brock's heart cracked at the tone of her voice. She sounded so hopeful and almost excited about it, and he knew what he was going to say would break her heart for good.
He looked up at her and he immediately knew he had made yet another mistake, because as soon as he looked into her eyes and he was lost in that deep shade of blue that always made his heart beat faster, he knew he was once again under her spell.
She didn't even need to do anything at all and she could have him at her feet. It was just something about her, he couldn't resist her. She looked at him with so much hope and innocence in her eyes and he felt himself being drawn closer and closer to her, until his hands slipped around her slender waist and his lips posed on hers almost on their own command.
Reba let out a sigh in relief and happiness as soon as his lips touched hers, kissing him back immediately. She had longed so much for it to happen, she had dreamed of it almost every night, the moment when he would come to her and tell her everything was alright and they would be okay. And now it was finally happening and she couldn't be happier. But her happiness started to fade when he started to pull away from the kiss.
"I'm sorry…" He mumbled, crashing her hopes and dreams. "I didn't mean that to happen, I… I am sorry…"
Reba felt tears dwell up in her eyes and her heart broke as she listened to those words, so soft and yet so sharp and cruel. She couldn't believe it all would come to that, there must be something more, something they could do.
"Please, no…" She heard herself say like from a long distance, her voice sounding scared and edgy. "Don't do this to me, Brock…"
"Reba, I-" Brock tried to speak but her hand was faster to cover his mouth, cutting him off.
"No, please… I know what you are going to say…and I know it will hurt… but I'm not ready to hear it yet…not now…" She looked at him and slowly removed her hand, tears sparkling in her eyes.
Brock sighed and felt his heart sink somewhere in his stomach as he looked at her, "Reba, you have to listen to-"
Once again he was cut off, but this time her soft lips crashed on his, not letting him continue.
"Give me only one night…" She whispered against his lips, her eyes closed as tears streamed down her face. "Just for one night, let's pretend nothing happened and everything is still fine… please… I won't ask for more…"
With his heart heavy with guilt and pain, Brock kissed her lips softly, cupping her face in his hands and wiping away her tears.
Reba slowly opened her eyes and gave him a sad smile, more tears falling down her cheeks, "I only ask one night…tonight…and nothing more… Please…" She whispered in a broken voice, leaning into his touch.
Brock swallowed hard and sighed as he moved his hands down her body and scooped her up in her arms, carrying her upstairs and into their bedroom, like he had done many, many times in the past.
The night was quiet and the air was thick and heavy as a soft breeze blew into the room from the open window, caressing the bodies of the two lovers, laying wrapped in the sheets and holding close to each other.
The silence of the night was only broken by the sound of panting as Reba and Brock tried to take control over their breathing again after their lovemaking. The only other sound that could be heard in miles was the sound of the sheets brushing against each other as the couple on the bed moved closer and closer, laying together, skin on skin.
"Are you okay?" Brock softly asked, brushing a strand of hair out of Reba's face as she laid in his arms, her head resting at the crook of his neck.
She only nodded silently, taking in his scent and sighing. She knew it would have been hard, but she didn't think it would have been that hard. She just couldn't see herself giving up on her marriage and on the man she loved.
"I'm sorry…" He whispered, pressing his lips into her hair, wanting to feel as much of her as she could. He wanted to smell her perfume and have it impressed in his mind forever, he wanted to remember how soft her skin was. He knew that was his last chance.
"I know you are…" Her answer was almost too low to be heard, but he did all the same. He would always hear what she said, that was what he did best. He could always hear her, but could he ever listen to her? He thought so, but now he wasn't so sure about it anymore. Now he was able to listen carefully to her words, and he could almost bodily feel her pain with every word she said.
"And I know you're going to her as soon as you'll leave here… I only have one question…" Her voice was still low and full of emotion as she shifted a little in his arms and cupped his cheek with her hand, smiling sadly. "Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you love her?" She looked deeply into his eyes, but he wasn't able to hold her gaze.
His eyes went down as soon as he found it impossible to stare into her sparkling blue eyes any longer. They looked like deep pools of water sparkling in the moonlight and he felt like he was about to drown, without being able to grab anything that could keep him from going down.
He couldn't lie to her, and she knew that. She knew him too darn well, and she had her reasons to ask him to look into her eyes and tell her something he didn't really think.
"I thought so…" She whispered, gently caressing his cheek still looking at him as tears shot up in her eyes again.
"Reba… I'm sorry… I really am…" He tried to apologize once again, looking up at her for a second.
"I just don't get it… If you don't love her, then why are you doing this to yourself…? Why are you tearing our family apart? Throwing away our love for something you don't believe in…?"
"I have to… It's not my choice… I caused something and now I have to take care of it…" Brock's answer came in a whisper and suddenly a look of comprehension appeared on Reba's face.
As the truth dawned on her, Reba felt her heart break completely. That was it, there wasn't a chance for them anymore. Her hopes for the future came crashing down at her feet, shattering in a million tiny pieces, as sharp as knives and impossible to get back together. Every piece of her hopes cut deep wounds in her heart and soul, every cut deeper than the last one as she tried to catch what still remained of her dreams.
"I understand…" She mumbled. "I get it now…" She sighed and turned around, rolling on top of him, her cheek pressed on his chest.
"Shh…" She gently pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him. "Only one night… can't we just stay here and pretend we are happy together like we were before?" She looked up at him with a sad smile.
Brock took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly and placing a kiss on her hair, "Of course we can…" He mumbled, moving his fingers slowly over her back.
Reba shivered slightly at his touch and lifted her head a bit, placing a kiss on his chin as she tangled her legs with his, "Make love to me, Brock… One last time, it's all I ask for…" She looked into his eyes and this time Brock held her gaze.
He couldn't deny her one last time together, one last proof of his love for her, it would have been unfair and nothing was fair to her as things were already.
He smiled softly as he caressed her cheek before pressing his lips on hers in a tender kiss.
"I love you…" She breathed into his ear as he gently thrust up into her body, stopping his movement to let her adjust to the feeling.
He looked at her and kissed every inch of her face he could reach. He wanted to remember everything, the way her eyes sparkled as they made love, the way her moans sounded in his ears, the way she slowly started to move her hips against his. Everything looked beautiful and rare to him, even the way her hair seemed to shine in the faint light inside the room, even though that was something he had seen countless times in the past.
But that was the last time and it all seemed more special to him. They should treasure that moment for the rest of their lives, they should keep it close in their soul and maybe it would help them to mend their broken hearts.
"I love you too…" His voice was as full of emotion as hers, and he kissed tenderly her smiling lips as he rolled them over, wiping away the tears that were now falling freely down her cheeks. "I love you so much…" He deepened the kiss a little bit, their tongues brushing against each other as he increased the speed of his thrusts, feeling her get close to her climax.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close as possible as she moved her pelvis up against him, feeling her orgasm start to build inside of her.
He moved his kisses down her neck and thrust even harder and faster in her, encouraged by her constant moans and sighs of pleasure, then, with a last, deep stroke, they both let go, relaxing in the sweet release of their orgasms, still holding tightly onto each other.
There was no need for words as they laid in each other's arms again, her head resting on his chest as she looked at him. And even if there was no need for words, a question pressed to escape Reba's lips.
"Would it be any difference if I was pregnant?" She asked softly, looking at him intensely. She just wanted to know how important she was for him. She wanted to know if she would come first or if his mistress was before her.
"Are you?" He knew where that question was leading and he wanted to avoid answering it. It was already painful enough as it was.
His question got lost in the silence between them as Reba moved her head back down, placing tiny kisses on his chest. Of course she wasn't pregnant, and he knew that. The last time they had made love was almost six months ago, after all.
Minutes passed and it felt almost like hours to them, though they both knew time would pass even too fast and it soon would be a new day.
Another day without him by her side, and this time for good.
"You should sleep a bit…" He mumbled against her hair, caressing her bare shoulder as she still laid in his arms, still looking at him.
Reba just shook her head, "It's my last night with you by my side. I don't even wanna blink a second away. I just want to capture every minute. I want to memorize every sensation…" She simply whispered, carefully observing every detail in his features and every feeling she got from laying there, her skin against his.
Brock nodded slightly and kissed her forehead. He understood everything, he knew why she didn't even want to blink. He too was afraid to close his eyes, he was afraid she would just slip out of his arms too soon while he wanted to keep her there forever.
So they stayed up all night, looking at each other's as tears still poured down her cheeks and he kept kissing them away.
They didn't even blink.