Why didn't I tell Astinos those feelings I had for him, before he died,
I loved him, I adored him
that face of his that cute face with those innocent eyes, how his dark hair framed his face so nicely, his face is still fresh in my mind
that beautiful body form of his all I wanted to do was hold him in my arms.
But now I can not tell him how I felt and if I knew that he too shared these feelings I could be happy.

When he died in front of me I felt my heart collapse, my eyes began to water but I couldn't show my pain.
I used to tease him all the time about him being womanish I only did it to see his face smile with laughter, I loved every time he called my name his voice was full of youth and hope.

I know that Iam married and I should not think like this but I love Astinos more than my wife, is it foolish of me to love a man more than my wife.

When I saw the captain mourning for the loss of his son and saw his eyes well up a tear ran down my face.
Everyone had fallen asleep the captain was still awake still cursing the gods, I told him about me being in love with his son, and how much me meeting Astinos had made me happy.
Talking about Astinos made me give a slight smile, the captain looked upon me as I kepted on talking about his beautiful son and how a fine job he has done raising a great a warrior
Without warning the captain hugged me and told me four words that I will never forget,

'he loved you too' those four little words made me feel so happy so alive that I couldn't stop smiling I now knew that the man I loved loved me also.