"I Love You"

Ritsuka & Soubi



"I love you." Those words are so empty to me. Had anyone ever shown me that they loved me? They only do what they have to, not what they want to. I don't believe in love at first sight and I find it annoying that some people say that when I know for a fact that it took them a long time to actually do something. It makes me so angry.

Many people have told me that they love me yet they lied to me and cheated and you just don't do that kind of stuff to the one you love. So I don't say it back and that makes them sad, some have even cried before.

He doesn't understand that though, he just keeps saying it even if I order him to stop. What kind of servant ignores his masters orders? He says he is loyal and will always be there yet when I need him hes never there. Does he not realize that it makes me depressed? He's killing me inside and doesn't even know it.

He wants to protect me, but can he protect me from myself? He wont even take my ears!! What's wrong with me wanting my ears gone? He always says "when your older" but I'm sixteen now and deserve to decide what I want when I want it. He's just so... Ugh!! He makes me so frustrated!

It's bad enough when everyone found out about me being gay and Soubi being my supposedly boyfriend, but I guess we acted like it. He did pick me up from school and we do spend our weekends together, and sometimes nights.

There are a few good pints of being with Soubi(i thought he was your supposedly boyfriend). He comforts me a lot, even if it is by giving false promises, when my mom beats and abuses me. He also got me through my cutting phase quickly and made me promise not to do it again, unlike him I actually keep my promises.

"I love you" is supposed to be a promise of love forever, why is that so hard to understand?