So uh... Jailbird is taking a long time and I'm vaguely sure the few who read that also follow this, so I bring you more pseudosmut (only this time more... direct) to make up for the inexcusable delay(s)!

*hangs head in shame*


Ace had just returned from a small hit. Nothing special, just a hundred bucks from a rich idiot who figured "Hey, walking downtown at 10pm to save gas money is an awesome idea!" Psht. Idiot.

Regardless, he figured commin' back early would land him a few points with Snake, who had been on his back for the past few moths about these all nighters he'd been pulling. Ace made up excuse after excuse, which Snake said he believed at first. He started dropping hints after a month, though, filling his head with gibberish about how 'it's for the good of the gang' that he stick around. In retrospect, he should have known that the smartest guy in the bunch would have figured out what the hell he had really been doing… literally. And, though he hated to admit it, he did feel sorry for leaving Snake hanging on the end of a rope like that. Must suck feeling so strongly for someone who couldn't do the same.

The least he could do was come back home early for once.

The sudden crash made him think twice about showing up tonight. He sucked in a deep breath and rubbed his eyes, listening to the shouting voices from inside. One: Shrill. Fast-paced. Spanish. Two: Quieter. Venomous. Hissed. There were others, trying to halt the other two. It was useless, trying to keep Arturo and Snake from bickering was like trying to keep a cat from ripping the nose off a dog.

Ace smirked and shrugged and wandered around the junkyard for a few minutes. Snake needed practice with leadership anyway. You could only learn so much from groveling as the feet of your leader. Ace stretched his arms over his head until his back creaked in protest, still keeping an ear on the ramshackle shed. He caught the end of a few phrases, none of which were pleasant. Hisses of 'ssspick' and 'jackasss' mixed in with 'feo eserpente' and 'false leader.' A few more of the unsavory ones caused a wince, but it was almost like a game. Who would break first? Who would rightfully claim the title of substitute leader?

Even Ace had to admit Arturo was fighting a loosing battle. The underdog only wins in movies, not in gang fights. Sure, Arturo was a bit more dominant, forceful, maybe a touch better looking, but he was a shrimp with a big mouth, and no way he had as much to loose as Snake. That poor bastard had everything riding on his 'second-man' position. His home, his life, his love (as laughable as it was) all rested in Ace, the leader he idolized. He devoted everything he had to him and the Gang, and for some odd reason Ace respected that about him, enough to make him his best friend and second in command. Might have even loved it about the kid, but no one needed that. Would just fuck up everything.

Speaking of fuck…

A something crashed in the shed as Ace slouched against the mound of scraps. He hadn't had any tail in a while... but there was no way he could find anyone at this time of the night. They'd all be taken. Besides Snake. Hell, he could settle for the reptile tonight. Actually, all things considered, he wasn't that bad of a lay. Total bottom. Did whatever he asked, ever the faithful follower. Ace hadn't screwed him yet (or planned to, for that matter) but damn that tongue of his. Ace shivered a bit and arched his back in another stretch.

It was about time he threw his favorite Gangreen another bone.

Ace stood once more and approached the house. Standing outside for a moment, he mustered up the expected anger at his house being trashed by the two vying for leadership. Once suitably pissed off, Ace approached the door, and kicked it open, promptly scaring the hell out of everyone inside and jarring the argument between the lanky and stubby Gangreen. He remained still, surveying the damage, which wasn't all that much (just a crappy table and some particleboard fixtures) but was just enough to let him get away with:

"What the FUCK are you thinking messing up MY HOUSE?"

When everyone shrunk back, he sought out the two fighters. The sight was laughable, to say the least; Snake curled up into a tiny knot of skin and scales while Arturo remained stranded on a chair piled high with phone books. Ace, resisting the urge to just say "Fuck it" and drag Snake out, advanced on the two. Oh, they tried to shrink back, but Snake was up against the wall already and Arturo… he was on a pile of phone books. Ace stood still for another moment before seizing the two by their shirt fonts and hauling them up to eye level.


He waited.

And then, after the drawn out awkward pause came the slew of apologies and explanations. None of which he was particularly listening to. He waited, though, until they broke down into the pleading begging tone of voice before thrusting his hands up just so to give them a swift punch in the jaw. That shut 'em up quick.

He looked at Arturo first. Gave him a once over. "I'll deal with you…" He tilted his head over at Snake, and smirked inwardly when he saw how wide the reptile's eyes got. "After I'm done with you…" He let the smirk leak through and tossed them both in opposite directions. Arturo went flying toward Grubber and Billy who had tried to hide in an opposite corner while Snake stumbled back, landing with a sour hiss on one of the cots. Couldn't have been more perfect if he actually tried.

He turned to face the three, frowning in mock pissed-off ness, and pointed out the door. They bolted. Ace slammed the door behind them and flipped the flimsy lock. He let his hand linger there as he took a breath, listening to the nervous hissing. Damn that tongue of his…

Ace turned slowly on the panicked teen, the smirk back on his face. Snake had moved away from the bed, but just a bit. He was shaking, probably scared shitless that this was it, and he was off on his own. Ace, in a rare show of mercy, didn't just stand there and let the silence extend. He approached him aiming to repeat his question, but the reptilian beat him to it. His tone was pleading, begging him to understand that it was Arturo again, not listening to orders because he got a big head and wanted to play leader. Ace, rather than listen, was too taken in by the trembling body and flickering tongue. He stared without really meaning to. Snake caught him on it, that tentative hiss saying his name once, twice-

He never got to the third. Ace was too busy crushing him between the wall and himself, his mouth fixed over Snake's. He paused for breath, and Snake exhaled in surprise, looking up at his leader and then at the door. The confusion didn't leave him so Ace explained causally:

"Shut the hell up at let me fuck you."

After which he shoved Snake onto the cot, the stress making the ancient thing screech across the wooden floor. Perfect. He leapt on top of the stunned Gangreen before he could react; his grimy hand under Snake's shirt in an instant. He groaned and crushed his mouth the Snakes again, rocking the cot so it made bumping noises against the floor. This was his plan, to make it sound like a scuffle so everyone would keep the hell away. To make it seem like Snake was taking the brunt of his anger. Maybe that would score him a bit of respect with Arturo, provided no one knew what Snake was actually taking the brunt of.

It wasn't going to be his fist, that's for damn sure.

Snake was moaning now. Well, Snake moaning wasn't exactly a moan. Sort of a low key hiss, which was better, but didn't stop him from claiming his mouth again. His hands were all over the place, pulling here, pinching there. Snake's too. He felt those pointy little fingers tugging at him, pulling him closer. He released Snakes mouth for breath and they both drank in needy gasps of it. Ace panted, now crawling over the thin gangster to straddle his hips. Green fingers fumbled with the belts and waistbands, pulling them down just enough to expose what needed to be exposed. Snake shut his eyes, letting it happen, loving every minute of it.

Good boy.

Ace stole Snakes mouth again as they rubbed together, actual moans wrenching out of both of their throats. Ace gripped Snakes' hips and yanked his hair, making sure to leave bruises and marks that could swing as an actual fight between leader and follower. The cot rammed into the sides of the shack randomly, simulating throw downs and shoves. To Ace, this was carefully plotted and desperately needed screwing. To Snake, this was an amazing night, a mindless fuck they both needed. To Arturo and the other two, this was a historic fight between leader and follower, one where Snake would actually survive and hold his own. In the back of his mind, Ace was making sure they were protected.

Snake would have appreciated it if he could for coherent thought, but he seemed content enough, writhing under Ace as they rutted. That tongue, dipping into Ace's mouth every time the lead Gangreen latched on, leading him in deeper and deeper, closer and closer. It'd hiss out and obstinacy followed by his name every breath it took. The body itself swerved and swayed under Ace's weight, the curvy spine undulating with each thrust. Ace's hands found their way under the spine, kneading it while the cot thump-thumped against the wall and scraped across the floorboards.

They were close, their movements getting sloppy and miss-timed, forsaking rhythm for friction, for completion. It hit Ace almost too quickly, fading then crashing over him all that once. His mouth once more forced its way onto Snake's, muffling the sharp cry. Snake followed suit, contorting himself so every bit of him fit against Ace seamlessly, and his thin arms almost doubling around them. They froze for a few moments, waiting for everything to slow, stop, then ebb away before lowering back down to the protesting cot. It was quiet for a minute, a single minute.

Ace lazily knocked over a table to supplement some noise as he looked down at the sated reptile. They were panting, flushed, generally looking like they just had one hell of a fight, only because no one would think they just fucked. The thin one's eyes opened a crack, peering up at his leader almost questioningly, as if asking Not that I mind, but what the hell was that for, anyway?

Ace kissed him to keep the question from coming in verbal form. Slow and lazy this time. An apology for scaring him half to death then taking advantage of him. Consensual or otherwise, it wasn't exactly the polite thing to do. Still, Ace knew Snake could never stay mad. Not at him, anyway. So what if he took a little more than he could ever give back? They need each other. It's not like they were gonna go running off to join a circus tomorrow morning and never see the other again. And even if they did, they had one hell of a last night together.

Ace kicked the cot and broke the kiss, lifting himself up while he assessed the damage. They'd knocked over the spare cot, a table, and 3 chairs. Sufficient enough to say it was a brawl, or at least a beat down. Now if only they could be rid of the smell of it, they'd be home free.

Snake sat up sluggishly, still in a daze, fingering the sticky mess on his stomach. Ace tossed him a rag from the overturned chair, kicking it across the floor. He waited until Snake had his footing before crossing the space between them and grabbing his shoulders. He didn't have to say anything; Snake was smart enough to keep what just happened a secret. No one could be that fucking stupid to just spout out the fact you screw your boss on a regular basis. Regardless, Ace gave him a quick peck as thank you. Short, sweet and to the point before hauling his scrawny ass up over his shoulders. He kicked the door open again and hurled Snake out onto the rubble.

The kid was a damn good actor. He faked trying to get up only to slip on the gravel and huff in exhaustion, settling for crawling away from the shack. Arturo looked between el eserpente feo and his leader once, twice, three times before locking his eyes with Ace.

Ace smirked and spit on the ground. "All of you stay the fuck away if you don't want the same thing happening to you."

He hoped to whatever God above that no one else would want any.

They all recoiled. Grubber went back to poke at Snake, who was in all honesty trying to get away from the big bad leader who had just gave him one of the better orgasms he'd had in his short life. Billy and surprisingly Arturo went back to drag the weakened reptile away to safety. Ace turned and shut the door, listening for any remaining chatter. He managed to catch a few phrases; Billy asking what happened, Grubber voicing his concern, and, surprisingly, Arturo remaining silent.

Ace yawned and stretched once they were out of earshot. He propped open the two tiny windows and hope the sweat and sex smell would be gone by morning. He fixed up the chairs and tables and moved the cots back to their spots. He flopped down on the unused one, snorting at the dust it kicked up in response. He shut his eyes and finally let himself relax.

Not too bad of a day, if I do say so my self.

Oh Ace. You are insatiable. And I don't hate Lil' Arturo, really. I just like him being a powerhungry asshat who gives Snake grief BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DOESN'T GET ENOUGH FROM ACE NO SIR.
At least it takes some of the focus off of Ace's asshatish tendencies : D
Thanks for reading!