title: morning syndrome
summary: in which sasuke is threatened with the very epitome of his manliness.
warning: crack!fic. sort of. absolutely no plot. this suddenly popped up in my head when I woke up this morning.
disclaimer: here we go again. I don't own Naruto 'cause . . . lawl, it'd mean disaster.

"Sakura . . ."

The kunoichi groaned and pulled the covers over her ears to shut out the voice. A hand reached out to stroke her hair, and she hummed in delight.

"Sakura . . ."

Her face scrunched up as she swatted the hand away, clearly unpleased. She snuggled deeper into the mattress.

"Sakura . . ."

Something poked her forehead.

"Stoooop . . ." she whined before turning over in the bed.

"Sakura, you need to wake up."

"No," the pink-haired woman replied stubbornly.

"You're going to be late."

"Kaka-sensei's always late. It's not fair," she complained, eyes still closed. "I wanna sleeeep."

When the voice didn't respond, she smiled her accomplishment.


"Uchiha, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm going to cut off your penis and throw you to your fangirls."


"Hey, teme, where's Sakura-chan?"


"Oh, Sasuke, did you use those positions I showed you last night?"


Naruto laughed hysterically. "I bet I know! You tried waking her up, and then she threatened you with chopping off your penis and then throwing you into a ramen-less hell!"

Glare. "Fangirls . . ." the brooding shinobi muttered.

Smile. "Hey, Sasuke, lighten up. At least your fangirls will still love you, penis-less or not."

Naruto and Kakashi burst out in laughter as the other male Katon-ed them before trudging off to his happy place.

LAWL. This was so much fun to write.

Review pl0x!