Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but that would be awesome.
I stood frozen in the front lawn. My legs refused to move any closer to the house.
"This is stupid." I told myself. "He's not going to bite my head off." I looked up at the gray sky when a thought hit me. "Well he could, but that would be a strange thing to do."
With each silent attempt to encourage myself I found myself getting . . . nowhere. I rolled my eyes at my own idiocy.
I didn't necessarily need to go into the house. I could just call his name. He would hear me. Everyone could probably hear me right now; my labored breathing was loud enough.
My weight shifted from foot to foot. Why was this so hard? He was my brother. I should be able to talk to him comfortably by now.
"Jasper." His name was spoken before I could understand what I was doing. An unexplainable wave of bravery washed through me. The type of wave you feel when you're on the brink of diving into a pool. You hesitate to dive in because of the cold water you know you'll feel but there's always something that makes you think differently and have you jump anyway.
He was at my side the second after I had registered this thought. His blonde hair shook at the ends in the faint breeze. He stood square shouldered, expectant. I had a hard time looking up at his face and that was more embarrassing than the fact that I had randomly called him out. He could feel that embarrassment now, I was sure.
He shifted toward me by an infinitesimal degree and I knew what his expression would be like now. Patient, but curious.
"Bella?" He spoke in a questioning tone. My eyes twitched toward him but they didn't meet his. Why in the world was I acting this way? What was it that was making him so intimidating? Was it the scars that covered his body? I had gotten used to them. Was it that I couldn't hide any emotion from him? That didn't seem to be a burden. Or was it simply that he was Jasper. The brother who was constantly the enigma. He was the most involved with emotions, yet he hardly ever showed his own. How could I know how he would react to this?
"Is something wrong?" He pressed. I was starting to feel guilty about not answering him. He must know that something was bothering me. It was undeniable now. "Is Edward alright? Renesmee?" I flinched when he spoke her name. I had to say something now. I didn't want him to be worried about them when the only problem was me.
I looked up at him. His expression was concerned, searching. I opened my mouth to speak and he leaned forward slightly to hear what I would say. I hesitated again. Jeez I was an idiot today.
"N-no." I finally spoke. "No, they're fine. I just wanted to talk to you." I spoke slowly; I didn't want my voice to shake. His expression eased immediately once he knew that his brother and niece were alright.
"What is it?" He asked. He face was inviting, despite the scars. I knew that at any other time I would feel more comfortable talking to him, but this time was different.
I swallowed unnecessarily as I looked at our feet. But then a sudden pulse of calming energy coursed through my body. I looked up at him. His expression hadn't changed but I knew that he must have been trying to help me relax.
"Thank you." I said. He nodded.
"You're welcome." He assured me.
"No, I mean . . . thank you. For everything Jasper." I finally started to tell him what I wanted to say. His head cocked to the side slightly. "You have been helping me since I got introduced to your family. You protected me from James in Phoenix, you invited me into your family, you've fought to protect me and the others, you gave me a way of protecting Renesmee in case the Volturi were able to kill us, and you've helped calm me down in uncountable situations throughout the time we've known each other." He watched me, emotionless, as I spoke. "Just . . . thank you." I finished lamely.
He paused before he spoke. "You don't need to thank me Bella. I was happy to do it." Another pause. "Was it so difficult to tell me that?" He said, a bit teasingly.
"That wasn't why I was nervous. Well maybe it was, but there was something else too." I looked down again and the wave of tranquility returned. "Every time I visualized telling you this I felt like I wanted to hug you." I admitted. "But I've never seen you give that sort of affection. Not with anyone besides Alice. I thought that maybe you wouldn't accept that. So . . . that's what was making me nervous."
He chuckled lightly. "Really? That's all?" He asked. "There's a reason why I don't show external affection, Bella." I met his gaze. "I've always believed that it would be easier to understand how someone feels or appreciates someone else through something similar to what I can do."
I grimaced in confusion and his expression softened. "I can feel your gratitude. You didn't need to tell me all of that because I could already feel how you felt." He smiled more broadly. "Here."
The sole serenity that had been in the front of my mind changed. It didn't disappear, but it wasn't exactly the same feeling as before. This new sensation was something I could only describe as warmth, but there was a depth to it I couldn't put in words. I suppose it had a message in it, like a signature, as if Jasper had made this feeling with his own hands and was giving it to me as a gift. This comforting embrace, existing only in my body, beat through me like the heart I once had. Then it changed to something much more defined. This I could describe very easily.
Being an only child I had never experienced anything like this. I had heard stories of siblings, some good and some bad, but this rush of emotion that hit me was completely unexpected. I could feel Jasper's eyes on me, loving eyes that would never wish me harm. He felt for me much more than I had given him credit for. I was his sister. He loved me dearly and I could feel that from every part of my physical being.
I smiled contently as the feeling flowed away, allowing me to think clearer. My scarlet eyes immediately found his gold ones. He grinned back and I no longer felt the pull or my personal requirement to hug him. He had shown me what our relationship had become and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Author's Note: This idea came to me after I read Breaking Dawn. I suppose I wanted Bella and Jasper to have another conversation before the end. I believe Jasper is a very interesting and, if I might say, cool vampire. I wanted to write a fiction where he was appreciated a bit more. Thanks for reading. Please review.