Disclaimer – I do not own X-Men Evolution. This fic was inspired by a very immature site user whom I hope will get to be more mature, but it isn't likely. Let's just say that this person has a ton of 'spam' stories on the site… which is irritating, not to mention very much unappreciated, not to mention it only serves to make people mad at you.
The Brotherhood Decide to Spam
Todd, Fred, Pietro and Lance were stuck in the front office because Darkholme had gone out to lunch and had left the office lady in charge. The office lady, seeing that she had been left with the four miscreants, decided it was best to leave her desk and sit outside the office to avoid any bodily harm.
"So, what are we going to do Lance?" Fred quipped, tapping his foot and suddenly making the ground shake a bit.
"Freddy… please calm down. I know we've been here for what seems like hours, but…"
"Lance, what person takes their lunch break as soon as school starts, huh, huh?" Pietro imputed sticking his face near the other boys, only to have it pushed away.
"Lance… Freddy's right though, we have nothing to do," Todd whined.
"Todd… Freddy, act your age, that's why we always end up in here,"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Freddy asked.
"What that means is, he and I don't pull pranks that are like little kids pranks," Pietro piped up.
"Lance!" both Todd and Fred said, glaring at the older boy.
"Pietro, that isn't what I meant and you know it. What I meant was that you two have problems standing still… alright, make that you three," Lance stated.
"Yeah, the only time you run is when you're in trouble," Pietro laughed.
"Pietro!" Lance said, clenching his fist and making the ground shake. The boys quickly made an effort to calm him down. But as the ground was shaking, the mouse from the computer fell down, causing Lance to notice it and walk over. "We could mess with the computer… Pietro, you can type very fast, do you want to be in charge of working the computer?"
"Ahh… you forget, when I actually speed type, I freeze the computer. We don't need that in order to pull this off." Pietro said.
"When did you freeze the computer? I've never seen one with ice on it," Fred said, causing the other boys to look at him weirdly.
"Freddy, dude…" Lance said shaking his head, "You take things to literally. Seriously, freezing a computer means that it won't work right and runs slow."
"Oh, like our home computer in the mornings when I try to print off a report for school," Fred said, starting to get it.
"Uhh… yeah… that would be because I froze it multiple times writing my report the last minute," Pietro said.
"Hah hah! No wonder you always have typos and the teacher yells at you for not doing it right! You can't think as fast as you can go speedy!" Todd said, dodging out of the way of the speedy boy.
"Look, let's get on with this. Let's start with the student message board," Lance said, opening up the online forum that the school used.
"Let's start by posting that the football games been moved to tonight!" Fred stated, a bright idea coming to him.
"Sure, that will work," Pietro said, starting to high five the big guy, but then thinking better of it.
"Done. What's next?" Lance asked.
"I have an embarrassing picture of Jean Grey!" Todd said, waving his camera. "Oh, and one from when Duncan was trying to you know what with you know who. In fact, I have tons!"
"Let's have Duncan post the picture, then!" Pietro stated. "Can you do that Lance?"
"Yeah, it's very simple. I'll show you guys how to do it… you need to be on a computer like this though. Hah! Done!" Lance said, showing the post.
"Let's spam some of the posts… who should we make be the spammer?" Pietro said.
"Well, most of the X-geeks, they wouldn't be caught dead spamming… but Evan… he would…"
"Cool! That rules Todd!" Pietro said.
"I'm not finished… and he leads that fur ball into it to, as he is a naïve foreigner," Todd said, jumping onto the back of the seat, almost knocking lance over.
"Let's see, my arch enemy, he would be saying things like … 'sk8board rules!' and 'girls are idiots' and … Uhh…"
" How about, 'I stuff baloney down my pants…' ," Fred suggested.
"Uhh… Freddy… is the only thing you can think of is food?" Lance said, shaking his head. "Good one anyways. What about fur ball Todd."
" He would say 'I am blue and love Jazz baby' and 'I like Tellitubbies' and… uhh… Freddie, match the one you did before.
" He'll say, 'I wear hamburgers on my head'," Fred said, quite proud of himself.
"Now… what else can we do?"
"Let's have Rouge go and bash everyone's comments in!" Pietro said, jumping up and down. The three other boys looked at him like he was crazy. "What?"
"Rouge will zap us idiot, she'd know exactly who did that one," Todd said, shaking his head.
"Then let's do Duncan… he's the most likely to do that. We'll have him start with comments we've made," Lance said.
"Why?" Fred asked, not sure where Lance was going with them.
"Duh Freddy, so we put the blame off us if this gets out, I mean, if we get hit first, it will be obvious that he's trying to aim at us," Todd said.
" He'd say something like… eating bugs is stupid… to this one," Pietro piped up.
"Hey!" Todd said, glowering at the boy.
"Remember Todd, it isn't really Pietro saying it but Duncan," Fred said.
"Yeah, exactly… we're getting into the minds of our enemies!" Pietro said.
"I'll … I'll slime him!" Todd said, sulking. The boys continued using Duncan's account to bash in certain things that people were saying. After a while though, they got bored with that.
"Ohh… I know, let's send out a baby picture of Mystique and say it's her birthday in a couple of weeks! Then everyone at school will think that it is her birthday and work really hard to make her day! That way… if we do anything wrong, she won't get to mad at us!" Fred stated.
"We don't have a picture of her as a baby Freddy!" Lance said, shaking his head.
"Well, I could steal a baby picture of Jean and color her face blue," Pietro said, only to fall over laughing.
"Pietro…" Lance said shaking his head. "No one knows she's really a red head with blue skin. Plus, she told the lady to beware gusts of wind and to report all of them."
"Still, we could get a really cute one of the internet," Fred said, smiling.
"Fred… it's got to be a baby messing their diapers… she's that mean," Todd said.
"And have her skin us alive?" Pietro said, shaking his head. "Anybody want a Toad Skin? They're really good for giving your enemies incurable warts."
"Fine, that one Lance," Todd said.
"Todd, that's Shirley Temple as a baby…"
"Well, this one then," Todd said, getting excited.
"Todd, what is it with you and the blond babies?"
"Uhhh… please… baby's hair color can change!" Todd said.
"Oh, fine. We'll also leave a note about the changed football time too," Lance said. "She is going to kill us."
"She's going to kill us if she finds out at all," Todd said, spinning the chair around.
Pietro glanced up and suddenly pulled Lance out of the chair, just as he sent the e-mail. Todd closed up the application. Fred hissed as they all got back into their seats. "She's back!"
"What have you four been doing… never mind, I don't want to know," the principle stated.
One of the teacher's ran up to her as the bell rang for school to be dismissed. "Uhh… Ms. Darkholme, happy birthday…"
Darkholme's jaw dropped as the lady hurried off.
"How old are you, a billion trillion?" Lance asked.
"Uhh… happy birthday boss," Todd said, trying to look innocent Pietro started to sing the happy birthday song as fast as he could.
"Can I bake you a cake?" Fred asked.
"Ms. Darkholme! We have to hurry! The football game, it got switched to right after school! The other team will be here soon!" the coach said hurrying past the door.
"He sure was in a hurry," Pietro said, only to go back to singing the birthday song.
"Ms. Darkholme… Duncan, he's posted a picture of Miss Grey on the board that is, well… she's really upset. Other students are upset about the fact he's putting people down on the board. That Evan's boy… he has convinced Wagner to spam the forum board too,"
"I'll take care of it," Darkholme said, rubbing her forehead. She winced as the band hurried by off key, the cheerleaders also making a loud noise.
They then heard a smack from out in the hall. "Duncan, how could you post that picture of me? How you even got a picture of me asleep in my pajamas I will never know!"
The brotherhood cheered as Jean stormed off from Duncan. Duncan waved a fist at them, only to have three of the four stick their tongues out at him. He then hurried off in a bad mood.
"Hah hah! Evan's like to stick baloney down his pants!" one boy chanted.
"I do not!" Evan said.
"Then why did you post it so many times on the board?"
"Shame Evan," Kitty said walking up to him.
"I'd expect that of you, but to get Kurt to do it too? The poor kids crazy enough as it is." Rouge said, sticking out her tongue at him.
The girls then phased through him. Evan hurried after them to try to explain things, but to no avail. It was then that one of the male teachers came in with a box of chocolates. "Uhh… uhh… Ms. Darkholme… I meant to give you these last Valentines… but I chickened out… happy birthday."
All four of the boys' jaws dropped. Lance was the first to say something. "Uhhh… I think this went a little too far…"
"You think!" Mystique said, glaring at them.
"Can I have the chocolates please!" Fred said.
"Get out!" Mystique snapped.
"Chocolates?" Fred whined, his lipped pouting and his eyes welling with tears.
"Fine!" She said handing them over.
"Yes, it always works. Ouch… these are hard, oh well…"
"Fred… what would you expect from chocolate that old," Lance piped up.
Author's note – That was such a nice way to vent about a problem… and point is, spamming in real life isn't a good thing.