Author's note- My muse held me hostage until I wrote this one-shot. My first KP fic, btw. This is a kigo. The concept is simple, if you don't like it then don't read. If you do anyway then decide to flame, I will seriously question your intelligence. For the rest of y'all, enjoy ;)
Kim Possible ducked behind a rack of clothes just before a pair of emerald eyes scanned the area for the seventh time in the last few minutes. The redhead was still for a moment before parting the clothing items to peer at her target. She was currently spying on Shego, who was resuming browsing another rack of clothes casually.
"Target in sight. No change." Kim murmured to herself, keeping her eyes trained on the long black hair. She kept her eyes peeled for any possible crime taking place. But so far it seemed pretty innocent. Shego just seemed to be browsing. But she also seemed to be growing suspicious. Kim would have to be more careful if she wanted to trail the villainess.
A cough behind her made her jump and whirl around to see a peeved looking customer tapping her foot. Kim looked confused before looking at the clothing rack she was burying herself in. She blushed when she realized she was looking through lingerie.
"Heh, sorry." Kim mumbled, moving out of the way for the woman. Unfortunately she was more tangled in the frisky items than she realized, so when she tried to step aside her foot got tangled in a thong which made her trip onto the rack and knock it over with a very loud crash.
Subtle Possible. Real subtle. Kim thought to herself as she rubbed a tender area on her head. She opened her eyes in time to see her target moving out of the store through the bra that covered Kim's face.
When Kim saw that her target was moving, she attempted to get up quickly and follow before she lost her. Tumbling out of the pile of lingerie she had accidentally created, she ran towards the exit of the store in the direction the thief was moving. Unfortunately some items of clothing were still clung to her person, so when she ran out the door she tripped the sensors causing a very loud alarm to start sounding off. Startled by the noise and people pointing at her, Kim stopped running, only to be tackled by a huge security guard from behind that looked like he could father the name 'Big Joe'. Kim could not believe she had not noticed the guard before.
This is the most degrading thing that has ever happened to me. Kim thought, mortified at the situation she was in and prayed that no one she knew was witnessing this. She looked like a thief while trying to follow a thief. Great.
"Officer, you got it all wrong, this is just a simple misunderstanding." Kim started, blushing furiously at the fact everyone thought she was trying to shoplift lingerie. The guard hauled her to her feet and she glimpsed the figure dressed in black and green disappear around a corner. Kim groaned inwardly and resisted the guards insistent pulling on her arm to try to look around the corner.
"Young lady, remain calm. You don't want to start trouble." The guard toned in a bored gruff voice. Kim turned to him with an annoyed look.
"Sir, I'm not trying to start trouble. I'm Kim Possible, and I was tracking down someone that could be potentially dangerous!"
"Yeah, and I'm Shirley Temple. And don't raise your voice at me!" The guard said threateningly. Kim looked at him indignantly and started to tug at her hands again.
"I am NOT lying! Let me go and I'll show you..!"
She was too busy looking in the direction Shego had moved and never saw him pull his tazer gun out. By then it was too late. As people gathered around her convulsing body and started getting out their cameras, Kim could only manage one thought.
I take what I said back. THIS is the most degrading thing that has ever happened to me.
Funny, I could have sworn I sensed someone was following me. Shego thought suspiciously as she moved away, amazingly not noticing the commotion she left in her wake.
Kim straddled the tree branch, pulling her binoculars to her face. She was rewarded with a clear and close up view of Shego jogging down the park's path.
"Target spotted." Kim said, a smile tugging at her lips. She was determined to catch Shego in a crime! But as she watched the green woman nearing the tree she was perched in, she found herself using the advanced binoculars to zoom into Shego's body unconsciously. Long and muscular legs, a taut abdomen, the bounce of Shego's breasts as she ran… Kim did not realize she was salivating.
All of a sudden the sound of flapping wings and a sharp peck to the back of her head brought Kim back to reality.
"OW!" Kim cried out at the unexpected pain and clutched her head with one of her hands.
"CAW!" the crow that attacked her circled the air above her before it swooped in again. This time Kim felt its sharp talons scratch her arm as well as another peck to the head. The bird continued to flap over her and continued with the pecking and scratching. Kim started waving her arms at the bird, trying to fend it off, but the damn thing was insistent in attacking her. The bird pulled away slightly and Kim used the opportunity to take a swing at the creature with her binoculars. Her aim was true as she smacked the bothersome crow out of the air.
"HA!" Kim cheered triumphantly before she heard a sharp and distinct crack. "Oh crap." The branch under her broke and her body fell comically, hitting several branches on the way down. She landed in a heap, the binoculars she had been carrying landing on her head. Kim groaned as she felt a migraine coming on.
"Holy shit, are you okay?" a familiar female voice asked, concern lacing her tone. Kim screwed her eyes shut. This is not happening!
"Kimmie?" Shego's voice sounded surprised and Kim risked opening her eyes just to catch her expression. Shego did indeed looked surprised that Kim Possible had seemingly dropped out of the sky in front of her on her daily jog. But Shego's expression quickly converted to amusement with a touch of annoyance.
"Princess, what the hell were you just doing?" Shego crossed her arms as she asked the question. She bit back a grin at Kim's appearance. The redhead had leaves and sticks sticking out of her hair, and she was blushing furiously as Shego stared down at her. Kim shifted nervously.
"I, uh... I found it!" Kim said suddenly, holding up the binoculars. Kim almost winced at how pathetic she was acting, but she couldn't seem to be able to stop herself from acting like an idiot around Shego. The dark haired woman raised an eyebrow at her.
"Why the fuck was your binoculars in a tree?" Shego asked, her amusement at the situation growing immensely. Kim's expression dropped and she resisted the urge to smack her own forehead.
"Um, a bird carried it away..." Kim trailed off lamely, not wanting to finish her own sentence. Could she look any dumber right now? Shego was delighting in how red Kim's face could turn so quickly in such a short amount of time. It was quite fascinating how easily Kim blushed.
"Gottagobye!" Kim muttered quickly before running away to safety. Actually, it was more like limping away, but she would never admit that to herself. Shego's emerald eyes followed the redhead curiously. She shook her head before continuing on her jog.
Well, that was...random. Shego thought, with a bemused expression.
Shego stretched her lean bikini-clad figure over her beach chair with a sigh. She placed her hands behind her head, closed her eyes and tried to relax. There's nowhere that she loved to relax more than on a beach on a sunny day.
So why wasn't she feeling relaxed?
"Damn it." Shego grumbled. She opened her eyes and scanned the beach. Nothing seemed out of the norm, but she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She sighed tiredly. She's been having the feeling all week, but whatever has been causing it continued to elude her. She had her suspicions, though.
But the cause of her suspicions wasn't on the beach at all. A figure clad in scuba-gear watched the green villainess from the ocean. Kim spied at the woman through her water goggles.
Oh come on! Is she ever going to commit a crime? Kim thought in frustration. A week of trailing Shego, and nothing! Kim figured if Shego didn't commit a crime soon, she would end up picking a fight somewhere with a random person just to scratch her itch to fight.
Yes, she was that desperate. On the upside, at least she got the opportunity to check out the villainess in a bikini.
Her rapidly warming thoughts were interrupted when she felt something brush her legs. Kim froze. Another brush. Something huge. Kim looked skyward and groaned.
You've go to be kidding me. Just as she thought that, a shark fin broke the surface a few meters away from her and rushed in her direction. Kim would have rolled her eyes if she had the time. Instead, she turned tail and swam for her life. When she peered under the surface she spotted the fourteen-foot great white giving chase and gaining. At the last second before it reached her, she stopped and dived under it, making it go right over head. Kim grabbed hold of its tail as it went by.
The shark then began to whirl around trying to snap its jaws at her, ending up with it chasing its own tail. But Kim held on tight with an unwavering grip on the creature's tail. When the brute seemed to realize it couldn't reach her, it started swimming rapidly in a zigzag, trying to shake her off. The quick whipping of the beast's tail forced the heroine to let go, and instead grab hold of the fin on its back. This seemed to anger the shark even more.
Kim was vaguely reminded of a rodeo, but the thought was chased away when the great white swam even deeper into the ocean, only to surge upwards, breaking the surface with an impressive jump.
Back on shore, Shego was just watching the horizon when out of nowhere a huge shark jumped out of the water. Her eyes widened when she saw a figure hanging on for dear life on the shark's back and a loud female shriek filled the air. The villainess continued to watch in morbid curiosity as both shark and scuba diver disappeared under the surface of the water.
"That's it, I'm outta here!"
Moonlight hit the pavement of the parking lot Shego was walking on. She was just exiting the nightclub and walking towards her sleek green sports car parked on the far side of the lot. She had decided to hit the club to see if it calmed her nerves any, but she seemed to be at a disadvantage. She had been on edge all night and the feeling was driving her crazy.
A rustling in the bushes to her left had her jumping a foot in the air and landing in a defensive stance. Her gaze swept over the shadows and dark places in the open area. After a few moments she willed her body to relax.
What the hell am I afraid of? I can kick anyone's ass who tries to mess with me! Jeez, I'm either going paranoid or I'm losing my touch, thought the green skinned woman. Keeping a weary eye on her surroundings she continued walking towards her vehicle.
As she was nearing the car, one of her boots stepped on a fresh wad of gum.
"Aw, come on!" Shego growled, trying to swipe the gum from her boot on the pavement. Her gummed-up boot distracted her from a figure running across the parking lot towards its target. Shego's senses alerted her of the presence and she whirled around in time to hear the battle-cry of the figure springing itself at her.
"Arrrggg!" shouted Kim as she launched herself at the woman. Shego was thrown off guard for a split second and Kim was able to tackle her around the waist, bringing them both down to land on the pavement. Kim landed on top of Shego and felt the rush of air leaving Shego's lungs on her face as the older woman took both their weights.
Kim placed the palms of her hands on either side of the villainess' head, looking down at her.
"Shego, you're going to jail!" Kim said with an air of confidence. Shego gave her the most bewildered look Kim had ever seen from her.
"What the hell? I haven't done anything illegal in weeks! And all of a sudden you come out of fucking nowhere and jump me like you've been dying to put your hands on me all your whole damn life, or something!" Shego ranted. She wasn't sure if she should be angry, amused, or aroused. Kim's cheeks flushed and she looked away for a moment before setting her hard gaze on Shego again.
"You did commit a crime, Shego! Just now." Kim insisted. Shego rolled her eyes.
"Oh really? Enlighten me."
"It's illegal to be out in public without a smile on your face." Kim replied in all seriousness. Shego blinked.
"Seriously?" Kim nodded.
"It's the law in Idaho." Kim said, trying not to sound so desperately pathetic. Shego looked at Kim with a smirk of amusement.
"Pumpkin, we're not in Idaho." Shego said as if she was talking to a four year old. Kim flushed from embarrassment and indignation. "Now can you please do me a favor and get off." Shego said in a bemused tone. "If you want to, that is." she added a moment later, a devilish smile coming to her face when Kim jumped off her body as if she was burned.
"If I didn't know any better, stalking and tackling people in parking lots can get you in jail as well. Thought of that, Kim Possible?" Shego said, getting up and dusting off her jeans. Kim's eyes widened.
"I have not..!" Kim started, but paused as Shego raised a well shaped eyebrow at her. She shut her mouth and looked away, trying to hide the deep blush that always seemed to curse her. Shego started laughing and Kim cut her a sidelong glance.
"What is so funny?" Kim asked, exasperated. "I've been SO bored! The super villain community has been non existent, school is out, Ron went to Japan, and you're not giving me an excuse to fight you! I'm going out of my mind!" Kim emphasized her point by throwing her hands up in the air, much to Shego's amusement.
"Gee Princess, if you wanted to spend time with me, all you had to do was ask." Shego pointed out with a sly grin on her face. "No need to follow me around, attacking me like a rabid animal, and making up weird laws just because you can't resist Me." she continued playfully, pulling out a small smile from Kim. The redhead looked at her hesitantly.
"Really?" she asked suspiciously. It couldn't be that simple, could it?
"Really." Shego said honestly. Kim nodded, her small smile growing into a grin.
"So...You want to hang out sometime?" Kim asked. Shego regarded the redhead and put her hand to her chin as if in thought.
"Well, I don't know Princess. I might have to fit you in between putting firecrackers in Drakken's pants and not smiling in Idaho."
The green skinned woman laughed at Kim's anxiety. It was cute.
"Alright. I'll hang out with your bored-ass self. Just try to keep your hands to yourself unless I say otherwise." Shego said wryly. Kim cracked a grin.
"You know, I'm up for not smiling in Idaho." Kim said slyly.
"Wow Kimmie, you're a real bad ass. I'm impressed."