A/N: Haga and Ryuzaki? Have I ever even HAD them in a fic before? Oo;; Alright, well... here goes nothing. Or hopefully something. I miraculously had a plot bunny, but it's more implied than actual LETS-MAKE-OUT-fangirl-driven-OOC-totally-not-plausible-and-even-if-it's-written-well-still-ends-with-a-lemon shrimpshipping. (feel free to insert puppy, tender, bronze, etc, instead of 'shrimp', and the phrase works just as well)
I was also EXTREMELY tempted to parody Avenue Q, in particular the songs "If You Were Gay" and "Fantasies Come True", but it was too ridiculous.
Disclaimer: Takahashi-sensei owns.
In the wings, behind the main tournament area, Haga and Ryuzaki were fiercely arguing, despite the fact that they just won their duel.
"You idiot!" Ryuzaki shouted at his tag-team partner.
"I'M the idiot?" Haga whined. "You're the one who used Solemn Judgement on the THIRD TURN!"
The next team of duelists showed up behind them, but the pair didn't notice, and continued arguing.
"It was his key card! His deck would've fallen apart without it!"
"Half our lifepoints--"
"If you hadn't traded the rest for your stupid insect--"
"Don't insult my queen!"
"You're lucky you even HAVE that card--"
"Hey!" One of the annoyed oncoming duelists shouted. "Would you two quit it? You sound like a married couple."
"WE DO NOT!" They yelled in unison. The duelist who had yelled rolled his eyes, and his partner was silently laughing behind him.
"You know, I did much better on my own, back when I was the champion of Japan!" Haga emphasized the last three words.
"And I was better on MY own," Ryuzaki shot back. "As soon as this tournment is over, we're through."
"Fine by me!" Haga agreed.
Ryuzaki wandered the hallways in the stadium, impatiently waiting for their next duel. The first duel of the day, they had won with ease, and so they had gotten along fine afterwards. The second duel was a bit shaky, and the third was terrible, hence the shouting match. Even though they were one of the best tag-teams in Japan, they still couldn't get along for a whole tournament. But they won, so they stuck together anyway. It was unbelievable how two people could hate each other so much and still win card games. Ryuzaki wondered briefly if it was just due to the lack of professional tag-team duelists, but even so, all their opponents liked each other. They were friends.
And he and Haga were... barely rivals. They wouldn't even acknowledge each other to that point. They were just both duelists who happened to be playing at the same time on the same team. Liking each other had nothing to do with it. They needed money, and what else can a couple of 17-year old highschool dropouts do?
They could duel separately, he wanted to say, but that had failed miserably. It would always fail miserably. No one wanted to duel the former runner-up of Japan who lost in the first round of the Battle City tournament. At least Haga could say he lost to the third-best duelist in the world. Ryuzaki lost to some amateur punk with cheap tricks and a one-card deck. No, Ryuzaki really had no choice but to keep tag-team dueling. Despite the most annoying partner in the world. He sighed and wished the clock would speed up.
Haga found himself outside the main building, walking the streets with tourists who barely glanced at him. There had been a time where he couldn't step outside his own house without being mobbed by fans. Contrary to the Dinosaur duelist's opinion, Haga had fared no better after Battle City, but particularly Duelist Kingdom. Sure, losing to the King of Games was respectable, but losing to the King of Games in the first game of the tournament, when he had an advantage AND attacked his deck? That last one was only an unconfirmed rumor, no thanks to Jounouchi. Haga knew he kept bugging Yugi to tell everyone, but the King was honorable, and he kept quiet. He knew this because Jounouchi had told him personally after revealing his parasite parricide trick during an interview about Battle City. Haga couldn't blame him, really, because it made Jounouchi look better as a duelist--though his common sense was questioned, since he was stupid enough to not check his deck--but it still ruined his chances of dueling solo.
Ryuzaki, however, had either the guts or the lack of smarts to not cheat. While his dueling record wasn't as great, he was still widely considered the better duelist of the two of them. That reputation, combined with Haga's own dueling smarts, had gotten them into the world of tag-team dueling.
It was nothing but an annoyance to Haga. He knew he could beat these jokers by himself, but no one would take him without a teammate to keep him in line. Ryuzaki blundered through the dueling, but he was honorable. It was all Haga's brains that kept them winning. Which, amazingly, they had done very often. Their loss to Sigfried had been the only one since they teamed up.
Haga sighed, turning back towards the arena. It was time for their semi-final duel. Hopefully they'd get through it without too many mistakes, and the arguing would be kept to a minimum afterward. Maybe Ryuzaki would even forget that they'd agree to split up, and he wouldn't have to ask him to stay together. Haga hated having to ask Ryuzaki for anything.
Haga turned a corner and promptly stopped. He definitely hadn't gone through any alleys on his walk. Oh great, he had gotten lost. He turned around to try and get his bearings, but a voice from the alley made him look back.
Haga turned to see a group of menacing teens smirking from the shadows. Oh shit.
"Imagine what kind of money we could get for his deck," one of them said gleefully, and the rest started to circle the helpless duelist.
Ryuzaki glanced at the clock on the wall. A half hour until their duel. He was about to head down to the main arena, when something caught his eye. He paused at the window, which looked out over Domino. Not three blocks away, he saw Haga running down a side street, a group of muggers after him. Without thinking, Ryuzaki sprinted for the door.
"You're not getting away!" a punk shouted. Haga would've liked to respond with something witty and clever, but he was too busy trying to get the hell away.
"Oh, damn," the duelist cursed, stopping short. The group had split in half, and they'd blocked off the rest of the street. He glanced back and forth, caught in the middle.
"Like a rat in a trap," the leader chuckled. Haga assumed he was the leader, he was the one who had ordered them after him, and he was the only one who hadn't been running himself.
"You couldn't even think of a bug joke?" Haga couldn't help remarking. The other replied by scowling. Slowly, the group of punks advanced. Haga briefly contemplated offering his deck and running, but he was at least duelist enough to dismiss THAT idea. He guessed he would have to try and slip out when they attacked. He had no chance of fighting. Too bad Ryuzaki wasn't here, he was always good at that kind of stuff...
"Leave my partner alone!" There was a flash of light, briefly illuminating someone standing at the far end of the street.
Then someone screamed. Haga looked up disbelivingly. A giant two-headed purple dinosaur loomed over the group. Ignoring Haga, the punks ran away from the threat as fast as possible.
"Idiots! It's a hologram!" the leader shouted. Most of them couldn't even pronounce 'hologram', let alone know what it meant. The leader punk whirled around angrily at Haga, who was now alone on his end of the street.
"You think you're pretty clever, playing a card to scare off all my buddies?" He yelled, charging the insect duelist.
"Stupid!" Ryuzaki yelled, emerging from the shadows and slamming his duel disk into the back of the punk's head. "What kind of insect duelist plays dinosaurs?"
The idiot punk fell to the ground, unconscious. Haga looked up at his dueling partner.
"Come on!" Ryuzaki called impatiently, motioning to Haga. "We've got a duel to get to."
Haga couldn't help but smile as he jogged down the street.
A/N: It was better in my head. But I wrote it, which I still cannot believe. SHRIMPshipping? Haga's got to be my least favorite character.