OH HAI.
L claims to be horrible at writing Author's Notes, therefore I shall do this one... SO YES. This is an AU school fic. :DD; It's a one shot so don't expect some crazy chapter fic to come out of this. L worked on half of it, and I worked on half of it. I don't know if you'd be able to tell who wrote what, but L originally dared me to think of a story involving Sasori/Deidara in tights, SO THIS IS ALL L'S FAULT. :DD
-Eddy

WARNINGS:
CURSING, PERVERTED-NESS (Should that even be a warning?) AND IMPLIED MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. (Shounen-Ai, but no yaoi/lemon)

DISCLAIMER: We don't own ANYTHING mentioned here. :D

WAIT! Just in case you didn't know, "thespian" is just a fancy way of saying "actor".


Being a thespian was a hard job.

The small boy didn't even know why he had signed up for drama class. Muttering curses under his breath, he began to undress himself in the small cubicle. When he began to take off his shirt, a thought dawned upon him.

"Son of a- DEIDARA, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE!"

Sasori was a complete asshole. Deidara was sure of it. "Why?! I wasn't peeping, I swear, I just wanted to make sure you were oka-"

Sasori pushed the other boy out by the head out of the small space and growled as he continued with the tight material given to him. Barring the door shut, he continued to undress himself. Taking off his shirt, he quickly grabbed the neatly folded black one. Putting it over his head, he muttered, "Shit, this smells like curdled milk."

He quickly glanced around before taking off his pants. As they fell to his ankles, he thought he heard a giggle. Covering his grey boxers, he tried not to bend down as the shook off his pants.

The top half of the cubicle may have been covered, but the bottom half of the damn space was still open; Open enough for a certain blonde to peep under.

Sasori wouldn't give the blond pedobear the pleasure of seeing his rump unprotected and vulnerable. Slipping on the tights, everything went well until he got to his thighs.

"Shit, I'm not that fat, am I?"

The black pants refused to pass over the red head's milky thighs. "What the hell is with this?" Sasori grunted as he tried to pull the pants up. As much as the tights protested, Sasori managed to pull them up his thighs. They soon met another, larger obstacle.

"Shit, first my thighs now my ass. Sasori, you need to cut back on the Pocky man."

Grunting, the red head tried pulling them again.

"Maybe if I wiggle a little..."

Sasori began wiggling his rump about, much to the pleasure of the blond. Deidara was crouched behind a box of stage props, watching Sasori struggle with his tights.

Unhealthy Obsession you say?

Of course not. Deidara could stop whenever he wanted to.

He just chose not to.

"Shoot, if I knew that he would start wiggling his butt around, I would have brought a real camera." He said before pulling out his black phone. Sasori, however, couldn't do anything but sigh. The tights hurt his skin and soon he simply gave up. "Deidara! I... need your help. Can you get me another pair of tights? Please?" Sasori heard a snicker, and he swore Deidara was the reincarnation of everything perverted.

God only knows what was going through the blonde's mind

"Deidara!!"

The blonde cursed a little as he was forced to put away the phone and look for another pair of pants. Damn the red head barely had any skin on him. Why would he need another pair of tights? "Uhh, Sure Sasori... What size?"

Sasori rolled his eyes and yelled, "Anything that's bigger than the ones you gave me the first time." "Why? The tighter the better!" The blonde swore he wouldn't be able to keep a straight face on that line.

"Shut the fuck up and get me another, larger pair of tights before I-"

"AWWW, look! Sasori no Danna still has baby fat!"

The accusing index finger was pointing towards Sasori's tight ass shirt as Deidara slipped his head under the bottom half of the cubicle. You could see just a tad bit of baby fat penetrating the stretchy fabric.

Instinctively wrapping his arms around his stomach, Sasori attempted to hide the slight blush on his face. Pouting slightly, he looked at the blond pedobear who felt a nosebleed coming on.

"No I don't!"Sasori protested quickly. Deidara couldn't help but smirk devilishly as the red head stood before him: Helpless and shivering from the cold. "And get out of here you pervert!" Sasori cried before throwing the troublesome pair of tights at Deidara's face. The blonde student's vision was covered by darkness and he grumbled out an inaudible complain about "feisty ukes" as he went to retrieve a new pair of tights.

The red head stood leaning against the wall of the cubicle, hearing Deidara searching through boxes obviously looking for a new pair of pants. And then after a few moments of silence, Sasori had the oddest feeling that someone was eyeing his rump.

Standing in a dark cubicle in his boxers was not fun. In fact, you could say Sasori was not amused. And the red head didn't even think to close the door after he opened it to see where his blonde peer was.

Deidara on the other hand was very amused. Watching him shiver in his wonderful grey boxers was more than the blond could handle.

In fact, he felt another nosebleed coming on. Now eyeing the Sasori's thin, pale legs he began walking back; very slowly, may I add. In one hand, he had an extra large pair of tights and the other was firmly clasped around his nose. Sasori couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Did the storeroom smell like rotten cheese too?"

The blond threw the pair of tights at the younger boy, winking, and replied "Yes sweetie, it smelled just like you."

"It must have smelled like Skittles and Strawberry Pocky-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

Deidara giggled.

The boy was easy to anger.

Spouting bouts of nonsense, Sasori first pointed to the tights then to himself.

"What, are they too big now? Dang Sasori, what are you, a like a medi-arge?"

"Dfgflksdash SHIIIIIT NOOOOOO. Why the fuck are they pink? Did the kiddie ballerina troop leave them here or somethi- wait a fucking second: what kinda kiddie ballerina is an extra large?!"

Deidara giggled even harder.

In fact, calling it giggling was an understatement. He was laughing hysterically.

"Well Saso, I guess you're the freaky elephant ballerina!" The blond shrieked throwing his hands over his head.

Yes, Sasori was definitely NOT AMUSED

"Shut the fuck up right now Deidara. Our grade depends on the function of this-"

"Partnership?" Deidara cut in, almost seductively.

"... 'Group effort' project." Sasori finished as he quickly tried on the tights to cover the lower half of his body. "And I have been a straight A student for ten years already Deidara. Ten fucking years. And when the hell were pink tights used for a high school drama class?!"

Deidara shrugged, slyly eyeing Sasori's slim figure through the tights. Putting aside all jokes, Sasori was far from cute.

The teen was hot. And most importantly, all his.

"I already told you; ballerinas use pink tights. Think of it this way, it makes you less noticeable on stage. The backdrop is white... I think..."

Sasori folded his arms across his chest. "Pink tights and a black shirt? Someone hasn't been watching the Fashion Channel."

Deidara sighed. "Come now Sasori, I have an impeccable fashion sense. For God's sake, I've predicted the winners of Project Runway for all 4 seasons, and GOD DAMN IT, I WILL WIN THAT SHOW ONE DAY!"

Sasori made a mental note to never joke about Project Runway around the blond.

Because Project Runway was serious business.

"Wonderful Deidara. Just fantastic. Now how are we supposed to explain this to Mr. Hatake?"

Deidara shrugged at Sasori's words. "Well… I mean, it matches your hair color fabulously…"

Sasori raised a brow. Did Deidara just say 'fabulously'? "Dei, I'm being honest and sincere when I tell you stop watching that show." The red head said. His words sounded fake as they left his mouth. Deidara didn't get the gist of Sasori's sarcasm and waved the boy off, the gesture done lazily. "Don't worry Danna. It's doing my ego some good."

The red head shook his head. What had he done to deserve this? First a perverted teacher, and now an extremely perverted partner.

"Hey, you know Mr. Hatake gave us fifteen minutes to get dressed. I've got my tights, and you've got yours on now. Think we should head back Danna." Deidara said calmly as the red head shut the door behind him.

"This is all your fault. The kids in class will never have me live down being in… pink tights." Sasori bit his lip as they made their way back to class, the hallway void of students. Deidara put an encouraging arm around Sasori's shoulder smiling playfully as he whispered into Sasori's ear, "I think you look hot Danna." The last thing Sasori needed was his cheeks matching his hair color, and the blue eyed twit had gotten very good at making that happen. The silvery eyed student smiled sheepishly before confessing, "Ya know, you don't look too bad yourself Dei."

The blonde smiled a little at the shorter boy's words. Sasori was honestly a very timid boyfriend. But Deidara had his ways of getting Sasori out of his "anti-social" shell.

"Sasori?"

"What could you possibly want from me you freak?" Sasori snarled as the blonde broke his train of thought.

Deidara's face became uncharacteristically serious. Looking at Sasori, he suddenly stopped walking.

Sasori walked a few steps forward before he sighed and turned around.

"Sorry Dei, what did y- fdsjokfjlgklfdagggas WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK?!"

Deidara was glowing with happiness. With a black half-mask on, he had the widest grin poor little Sasori had ever seen in his short life. Clutching his chest, Sasori thought he was going to have a heart attack and drop dead at any second. Deidara only had that grin when the blonde was planning something.

Pointing directly in front on himself, Deidara screeched, "TO THE YAOI MOBILE SASORI-KUN!"

Running off with both hands in front on him, the blond threw off the mask, leaving it behind as he ran off.

Sasori tilted his head to the side as Deidara continued off into the long hallway. And then after dismissing the idea if ignoring Deidara, a perverted grin made its way onto the pale boy's face.

"Take it all off babe!"Sasori shouted, chasing after the blond.


rofl YOU'D LOVE THAT SASORI YOU PERVY LITTLE BISHIE.
Fun Fact: L and E.d love "Project Runway" c:
Reviews are appreciated. :3