Hm, I seem to be procrastinating on updating WNT by updating everything else instead by finishing all my half-finised fics lol. Enjoy and feel free to leave a review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it. I do not own much full-stop.
"Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions"
It was their first mission with Sai. Neither of them knew what to expect, they had heard stories from Naruto and Sakura but those two were the type to exaggerate. Gai had taken Lee away for some youthful training exercise into the mountains involving boulders and squirrels and there was no one else available, so they had had to form a new three-man cell. Well not three-man exactly since Tenten wasn't a man… she was most definitely not a man…
Tenten was leading at the front as they leapt through the trees and Neji was at the back as usual, in case there were any surprise attacks from behind. But Neji wasn't appreciating the way Sai's eyes seemed to be focused on Tenten's perfect ass. He continued telling himself it was merely his imagination - that Sai was just looking at Tenten's general form simply because she was leading at the front. Just because he always enjoyed the very fine view of her that he got on Team Gai missions didn't mean that every other male would too. Right? Neji rubbed his temples in irritation. Wrong, every other male would be just as fixated, especially if she continued to wear those tight pants that she had gotten into the habit of wearing lately.
They finally stopped to eat and rest until dawn. The forest was filled with chirping crickets and a few fireflies buzzed around the clearing they selected. Neji scanned the area around him with his Byakugen, no enemy ninja were around. Tenten gave him a questioning look and he nodded tersely. She grinned and began the task of making a small fire. Sai, meanwhile, had been watching their entire unspoken exchange with interest. Neji was getting quite sick of Sai already, that boy just kept intensely observing every human interaction he came across until it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He felt like he was under a microscope whenever Sai was around.
"So how did you know that she was asking if she could light a fire?" Sai asked in that monotone of his.
Neji struggled not to show his annoyance with the younger boy as he took out food rations for the three of them, from his bag. "We've been team mates for so long I can usually guess what it is she wants," he replied as curtly as he could to discourage the strange artist nin from asking him anymore questions.
He thought he heard Tenten mutter something about him not having a clue but he ignored it. He probably misheard, she was probably referring to Sai.
"How long must people be team mates before they can usually know what the other is thinking?" asked Sai.
Neji stifled a sigh. "A long time," he replied as vaguely as he could. He proceeded to sit down beside Tenten and hand her her water bottle.
Tenten smirked, "Well Neji is a little special, he thinks he can read minds with his Byakugen." She took a gulp from her water bottle.
"I never said I could read minds," he corrected. "I am just at an advantage at interpreting other people's body language."
"So how can you tell if a woman would be open to your advances?" asked Sai.
Tenten spat her water out over the fire, putting it out in the process and started coughing. Neji glared at the other ninja suspiciously and thumped his team mate on her back.
"Did I ask something wrong?"
Tenten's coughing fit finally subsided. "No, I just wasn't expecting that. You should probably ask Neji though. He's the expert. Girls are constantly throwing themselves at him." She smirked at Neji who glowered back at her. He knew that she knew how much he hated the attention yet she kept teasing him about it mercilessly whenever the opportunity arose. But then there were the moments when she would fall into a foul-mood because of all the attention he received. He couldn't understand her sometimes.
Sai looked confused, "I don't understand how anyone could physically throw themsel-"
"It's a figure of speech, Sai," she laughed.
Sai turned to Neji with what looked like a quizzical expression but it was hard to tell with Sai. "Why would girls find you attractive? Your long hair makes you look like a girl from behind."
Tenten made another choking sound but this time she was not choking on water. Neji's eye twitched as he wondered if it would be possible to complete their mission with only two members... or by himself. He glared at Tenten who was smothering her laughter then he glared at Sai who was the cause of all his current woes.
"Maybe you should ask a girl that question then," he replied flatly.
"Sai, just take a look at his face, it's quite aesthetically pleasing," Tenten giggled, she was really enjoying this. She pinched one of his cheeks for emphasis and Neji growled at her dangerously. "And there is a good body under all those big robes… it's part of the reason why he doesn't wear those close fitting shinobi uniforms because he'll get even more harassed otherwise."
The dark eyed boy nodded solemnly, "Yes his face is quite symmetrical. So do you find him attractive Tenten?"
She laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her head, something she would do if she was unsure of what the right course of action to take was. Neji nearly leant forward to see her expression and hear her answer better but that would have been too obvious that he cared about her reply so he stayed exactly as he was, and waited with anticipation for her answer. "Well… yeah… Neji is an attractive guy," she replied very carefully. Tenten avoided meeting his eyes and her expression was cryptic. She had an uncanny ability to become unreadable at what seemed to be the most critical moments, thought Neji irritably. Like Shikamaru often said, women were troublesome… and frustrating creatures.
Sai was continuing to interrogate her. "Do you think I am attractive?"
"Umm…" Tenten turned towards him and desperately tried to signal with her eyes for him to save her. "Yeah I suppose?" Neji's eyes narrowed, he didn't like her answer at all.
"Sai, stop asking such questions, you're making her uncomfortable," Neji growled.
Sai looked at the both of them and tilted his head to one side, "Is something going on between you two?"
Neji wanted to die and sink into the ground. How did a completely socially inept person manage to ask hit on the most sensitive topics and issues that he so carefully tried to hide from himself and everyone else? Tenten was turning red beside him; her earlier amusement had faded away as well. "I decline to answer anymore questions Sai," he said as firmly as he could and stood up. "I'm going to secure the perimeter."
To his complete dismay, the artist nin followed him as he started setting up traps. Neji decided that the best course of action would be to ignore the boy. However, Sai refused to be ignored. Sai simply leant against a tree and observed him as he deftly secured the near invisible wires around a tree branch. "Tenten is quite attractive," the former-Root member stated simply.
Neji gave a non-committal grunt, he didn't like where this was going.
"She has a better body than Ino and Sakura. Do you think she would be open to having sex with me?"
Neji suddenly yanked the wires too tightly and it sliced off the tree branch he was supposed to tie it to. He turned around slowly to fix the artist nin with a cold, steely glare. "No," he growled. It was taking him all of his self-restraint not to strangle the other ninja with wire currently in his hands. Unfortunately, if he did that, it would probably cause an explosion and give their position away to any enemy nin who might be around the vicinity.
"Is that because you like her too, you're being an overprotective team mate or because you genuinely think that she would not be attracted to me in any way at all?" Sai cocked his head to the side slightly.
"Tenten can take care of herself. I don't think she is attracted to you that's all," he snapped in reply.
"Oh, ok, I'll go ask her myself," said Sai giving him one of his fake smiles before disappearing into the shadows.
Neji placed his other hand against a tree branch and glared after the other nin. There was a cracking noise and he realised that he had just destroyed another tree branch.
By the time Neji had finally managed to calm himself down sufficiently to face his team mates without killing Sai, Tenten had got the fire roaring once more and had her arms akimbo with a ferocious scowl on her face upon seeing him return. "Neji may I have a word with you?" she said between clenched teeth.
His pale eyes flickered to where Sai was sitting, away from Tenten with a bright red hand imprint on his cheek. Looked like his advances weren't welcome after all. Without waiting for Neji to respond, Tenten yanked him by his arm and dragged him into the forest.
"Don't EVER leave me alone with that pervert again! Do you know what he asked me?" she hissed.
Neji gulped, "He asked you to have dinner with him?" She was the only woman who could make his knees buckle in fear, which was part of the reason of his attraction to her. Perhaps he had a thing for strong dominant women with a passion for sharp pointy things?
Tenten stared at him incredulously before smacking the side of his head. "No you idiot he asked me if he could have sex with me! I can't believe the nerve of that guy…" she trailed off and suddenly glared at Neji suspiciously. "Why would you think he asked me to dinner?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously, "Did you put him up to this?"
Neji shook his head hard emphatically, "No, why would I do something like that? I told him not to ask you out."
Her grip on his robes relaxed momentarily then tightened again, "Why would you tell him that?"
He stiffened as he tried to come up with an answer that was plausible, didn't make Tenten cross or involved an actual confession. Women were such confusing complex creatures, he knew he would have to tread carefully here. "I…didn't want him offending you like what he just did?"
Tenten's dark brown eyes hardened. "You're hiding something from me," she growled, jabbing his chest with her finger, hard.
Neji grabbed her wrist and pushed it firmly away so she would stop trying to stab him with her finger. It was so unfair, how could she be so excellent at reading him when he had so much trouble reading her, especially when she didn't even have the Byakugen and he did? "Don't be silly," he snapped at her, finally collecting himself together.
She took a step closer to him until their noses were almost touching, although she did have to look up to do that. "You're an awfully bad liar Hyuuga Neji," she said in a low, silken voice that made him want to grab her and kiss her senseless. But Hyuuga Neji had a lot of self-restraint, or so he told himself despite the fact that he was kissing her quite passionately against a tree. She responded very eagerly and Neji thought to himself that maybe having Sai as a team-mate did have its advantages after all.
A/N: I had so much trouble with the ending I just gave up on it and tried to keep it short and sweet.