Summary: It was Ulquiorra's Ultimate Secret. Now three people know of it: Ulquiorra himself, Aizen, and him, Grimmjow Jaggerjacques. Crackish shonen-ai sorta.

For Kalachuchi, who's been having fits about not reading any GrimmUlqui fics. Here's for you, sweetie! Hope this satisfies you somewhat. Sorry if it sucks a bit! :P I haven't watched any recent episodes of Bleach, and the last chapter of the manga I've read is when Orihime left. So, yeah, there are a lot of assumptions here on my part.

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Ulquiorra Schiffer had a secret. It was so sensitive that only two people know of it, Aizen-sama and himself. When Aizen had learned of it, instead of teasing the Arrancar about it, he was actually more amused. And then he had given the (slightly) embarrassed Ulquiorra one of his most prized memories:

He gave Ulquiorra a hug.

Yes, bad-ass, calm, cool, unflappable Ulquiorra Schiffer, number four of Espada likes hugs. No, rewind that. He loves them. Nothing can make his day better than a warm embrace from somebody--anybody. There was something about that enveloping physical contact that manages to make him even more calm, cool, and collected. It also made him relax, something that he rarely allowed himself now that there was a war looming overhead with Soul Society, the self-righteous bastards.

Trouble is, no one ever got close enough to give him one. He, being an artificial creature created out of the Hogyoku and raised as a killing machine, never in his whole existence had never experienced a hug before.

Until Inoue Orihime came that is. The annoying woman, who made his already irritating life (who wouldn't be driven to half-madness working with someone as troublesome as Grimmjow? But of course, Ulquiorra never shows his emotions so nobody really knew that fact) even more irritating with her high-pitched voice and meddling, made him a stuffed toy.

Inoue Orihime made Ulquiorra Schiffer a stuffed bear.

Pause, repeat sentence in head, then keel over after drowning in your own vomit.

But instead of throwing it immediately as he should have done, he brought it to his room. Somehow, the snow-white bear with its bright blue bow (Aizen knows where the woman got her materials from) seemed to lighten up the drab grey room. He placed it in his bed and lay beside it, staring at it as if he had never seen one before. In the short time he had in Karakura Town, he saw a lot of these things, often in shops or in the arms of little children. He squeezed one of the arms, revelling a bit in its softness.

Ulquiorra picked it up, letting it sit on his stomach. He just stared at it, not really knowing what to do. He half-wanted to throw it out, but decided not to. The woman looked insanely happy when giving this to him, saying that this should lighten up his mood, that he almost felt sorry for her.

Because nothing can make Ulquiorra really happy. His happiness was in serving Aizen, and proving himself. That was all.

And he certainly didn't need the bear to help him in that quest. What could it do? Strangle the enemy with its cuteness?

Ulquiorra never slept. In fact, his bed's main purpose was for him to lie down so he could meditate and plan.

Yet as he tried to copy how the human children carried their own stuffed toys--a hug, he thought it was called--he couldn't help but close his eyes and fall into his first sleep.

The bear was warm to his chest.

--

It wasn't until several days alter when the shit truly hit the fucking fan.

Ulquiorra wasn't really embarrassed when Aizen had asked him one day how he liked Inoue's present, which proceeded to the brown-haired man giving him his first real hug, but when Grimmjow, the eternal idiot that he was, barged into his room presumably to annoy him some more with his incessant stupidity, found him in his bed, the bear in his arms, the Espada's number four was for the first time in his life, absolutely flustered.

Of course he didn't let it show and opted to stay still, the bear still in his arms.

"What the hell is that?" asked the blue-haired wonder git.

"A bear," was the stoic reply.

Grimmjow blinked. "Where did you get it?"

"The woman…" Ulquiorra began.

Grimmjow interrupted him. "Ah, I see. I got one of her presents too." He pointed to a thing hanging by a red string at his hip. It was also a bear, but smaller and brown. "Everyone got one, but yours is the biggest." He gave the other Arrancar a slight smirk before plopping on his bed. "I wonder why."

"Shut up," snapped Ulquiorra. "You're just jealous. And get off my bed."

To his surprise, Grimmjow didn't shoot back a retort. In fact, his grin just got bigger as he moved closer to Ulquiorra. He reached between the scant space between them for the bear in Ulquiorra's arms before throwing it somewhere in the room. Two strong arms went around Ulquiorra's smaller frame and he heard himself gasp.

"Of course I'm jealous," Grimmjow muttered in his hair. "That bear get to hug you all night. I want to hold you that way every night as well." He gave the smaller man a smirk. "Besides, I know how much you love hugs."

Yes, Ulquiorra absolutely adored hugs.

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A/N: Suckish and choppy, but I was too smashed to write any more. Reviews would be super! Damn, this is supposed to be my het only account, but couldn't resist posting it using this one so Kalachuchi can read it and squeal. Hehehe.

Disclaimer: I promised Tite Kubo one hot, steamy night in exchange for the rights to his manga. Damn, this is my THIRD restraining order.