DISCLAIMER: YES I DONT OWN NARUTO! WHY MUST YOU RUB IT IN?!


The Rules

The doorbell rang. It was 7 PM. Sasuke's head went up quickly and walked calmly to open the door. Sasuke looked at the boy standing in front of him.

"Good evening Uchiha-sama."The boy said politely.

"Come inside Koharu, we have things to talk about." Sasuke said. 'Make a scary face, Sasuke.'

"Please sit." As Koharu did. "How are your parents?"

"They are good. How are you?" He asked.

"Okay, I'm gonna stop playing nice. You are to listen to my rules and regulations. If you dare to break them, I will break your arms, you got that?!" Sasuke said as he stood up with a glare constructed on his mean and scary face. Koharu, was indeed scared.

"Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

"Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

"Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your
clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter; I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

"Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

"Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."

...

"Are you listening?!" Sasuke yelled in a deadly manner. Koharu nodded wide eyed, while thinking: 'Don't shit your pants! Don't shit your pants! Don't shit your pants! Don't shit your pants! Don't shit your pants!'

Sasuke continued after eyeing the boy.

"Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Got that bucko?

"Rule Seven: As you sit on my couch in my living room, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Hokage faces. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like training for the chunin exam. You seem a little weak for it.

"Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Old folk's homes are better.

"Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a middle-aged. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I am an ANBU captain with five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

"Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my mind starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the shurikens and kunais as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car with both hands up in the air and in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, and then return to your car--there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

"That is all Koharu."

Koharu stared wide eyed at Sasuke and nodded slowly once again, successfully not soiling himself. A minute or so later, Sasuke's daughter Naomi came down the stairs and walked into the living room.

"Hey Koharu." She smiled to the said boy. Koharu stood up. "You look…wow…" He said eyeing her face. Naomi indeed, looked 'wow.' Sasuke cleared his throat at the statement.

"I-I mean, let's go. The movie's gonna start soon." Soon they both left, but before Koharu did, he looked back at Sasuke, and bowed to him. 'Hn….he learns well.' Sasuke said to himself smirking. Naomi and Koharu walked away.

"Sasuke-kun, stop scaring the poor boy, he's just a kid." Sakura said while coming up to hug him from the side.

"Yeah, I know, he's Naruto's kid. Who knows what that dobe taught Koharu." Sasuke said in disgust.

Sakura laughed. "Sasuke-kun, learn to let go. Let Naomi grow up for a while."

"Hn…easy for you to say."

"What was that?" She said in an angry tone.

"N-nothing dear."

"Hmmm, thought so."

'She's scarier than me...

"So now that we're all alone…you want to do something?" Sasuke said as he turned to face her smirking in a sensual way.

"…yeah….." Sakura said in a seductive manner. "Now we can watch the notebook in peace."

'...great...'


A/N:

Okayy, so this is my second fanfic, and hopefully it came out good. I did not write the rules. I found it on the internet.
Please review, i need some good feedback! THANKS! D


Edit: Someone reviewed me saying that I stole the rules. And my reply to that is: I didnt take credit for it. I clearly sed that i found these on the internet and i didnt write the rules. I tweaked it a little to make it go with the story. So if you are going to make mindless comments about me plagiarising, then please let me educate you, Plagiarising means to take someone elses work and call it there own, obviously, I DID NOT.

If however, you still think it's wrong, then please forgive me, i had no intentions of making it seem that way. Keep in mind that this is one of my first stories.


Edit 2: Another reviewer sed that i shud've mended my mistakes before posting, well im gonna tell you what i told her, this is my first fanfic on this website and i'm clueless on how to use it other than reviewing and putting things into my favorites. Also, be aware that this is also an email-chain-letter-thingy and its all around the world. There is a chance that more than 30 percent of authors would've used this on their stories, and i'm the only one thats getting all the bashing. I don't find it fair. Once again, my summer has gone down-hill, and all becuz of hardcore fanfiction critics. But anyways, go onto google and type in "Daddy's 10 rules of Dating."

And yess, i named the story the same title, now please, if you're gonna leave a review READ THE A/N'S! THEY TAKE AWAY CONFUSION! or just don't review at all. I'm tired of you plagiarism police!