Hey y'all :):):)

Ok, I have no idea whatsoever where this idea came from... and I mean no idea! lol

For some freaky reason, I felt really poetic -raises eyebrow- today so I was like, 'By Jove! I shall write a poem!' (I don't know where the posh London accent came from)

So anyways, yep, I've written a poem and I know it probably won't be that good, but please, give it a try and see what you think of it :D

Summary: Why couldn't things ever be different in their life? Why was everything so damn hard for them?! A poem from Sam's POV basically about the Winchester's troubled lives

Well here it goes! Hope y'all like it!! :)

If only life was easy

If only death was hard

If only nightmares weren't real

If only we weren't scarred

If only Mom was still here

If only she had stayed

If only Dad had no vengeance

Then his heart would not be frayed

If only we hadn't travelled

From place to place each day

If only danger ignored us

Sparing our lives away

If only Dad had been Dad

Not a stranger instead

If only these thoughts weren't here

Tiredly in my head

If only school had been fun

And 'friend' wasn't just a word

If only I was normal

Not a freak as I've been told

If only monsters were fake

If only they weren't there

Nothing to fight, nothing to fear

Only jokes and dares

If only they weren't hurting

Or screaming out in pain

Their blood spilling everywhere

On my skin it stains

If only I wasn't weak

The useless link of course

If only they stopped sacrifices

And feelings of remorse

If only I had listened

Maybe death would not be here

Perhaps Jess'd still be with me

Instead she burned in fear

If only his heart was intact

After I'd left him then

My brother, my protector

Better: my mother hen

If only I'd seen his tears

If only I'd looked back

I should never have hurt him

Courage was all I lacked

If only he'd pushed me away

With anger he wouldn't show

I broke your heart and still

Did you ever let me go?

If only we had found Dad

Before it was too late

If only we'd been faster

Instead of sitting round to wait

If only I'd have noticed

If only I'd have known

That it wasn't my father

Those eyes were not his own

If only I had stopped it

Stopped the pain he had endured

My brother, you must forgive me

My prayers had gone unheard

If only I was stronger

With my powers unleashed

If only my eyes had opened

Revealing my inner beast

But even then I was weak

Watching the torture dealt

I thought he was dying there

And the fear was all I felt

If only I'd been braver

If only I'd obliged

But Dad, I couldn't kill you

I'd rather have died

If only I'd seen the truck

If only I'd braked before

When Dean woke, I thought we'd made it

Till I saw Dad on the floor

If only we'd got on more

If only we didn't fight

But you died thinking I hate you

I can never make that right

If only flames weren't burning

Eating into Dad's flesh

If only he wasn't gone too

Just like Mom and Jess

If only Dean opened up

And would just let me see

What he truly feels inside

And what he thinks of me

If only I'd noticed more

By giving you more time

I can't stand to see you cry

But tears are not a crime

If only you hadn't promised

Or kept that secret from me

If only you could give me trust

Instead you made me flee

If only love was shining

Invincible to all

If only evil disappeared

No longer would we fall

If only I'd shown no mercy

If only I'd stood my ground

If only I'd heard him sooner

If only I'd made a sound

If only I'd pulled through the pain

And spat out the rising blood

I had felt his arms hold me close

Like a brother's always should

If only I could answer

The words you had to say

I'm sorry for my silence

As you watched me slip away

If only you were stronger too

If only you'd held on

You could've moved on from me

For I was dead and gone

If only that deal was forfeit

He should have realized

I'm not worth the price he'll pay

No matter how he tries

If only I'd worked harder

If only I'd done more

He didn't know why I fought

Or what I was fighting for

If only I'd broken the deal

Or better yet, stayed dead

One year was not enough for us

Secrets were left unsaid

If only midnight hadn't chimed

And the Hellhounds didn't chase

If only Demons couldn't lie

Or hide behind a face

I should have known beforehand

We knew that we were through

If only I wasn't weak

But we all know that it's true

If only I'd killed that bitch

Before she opened the door

If only I'd defended him

As hounds dragged him to the floor

If only you hadn't screamed

While you were ripped apart

I cried, begged and pleaded

But you still broke my heart

If only that light had killed me

If only I'd died too

If only I'd finished her

But she left me there with you

If only there was less blood

Or a twinkle in your eye

If only you'd woken up

When you heard me start to cry

If only my tears could drown me

So that we'd reunite

Darkness was all around now

I'm lost without my light

If only I could take your place

The way it should have been

If only I'd had the chance

To say 'I love you Dean'

I have no more if onlys

No more paths to choose

For whichever one I take

I know that I will loseā€¦

I'm still trying to get over the shock of me writing a poem... lol

Please, please leave me a review as I'm real anxious to know what y'all thought of it! :S

Thanks so much for taking the time to read it!!

Hugs, Ami-Rose x x x x x