"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." With pained thoughts, I tried to make her let me leave. I had focused my full attention on keeping my face expressionless, to let her not catch my lie. She froze, staring at me with teary eyes.
"You... don't... want me?" She winced with the sound of the words together and I held myself back from comforting her. I swallowed hard, making sure nothing would change my voice to reveal my true thoughts.
"No." She stared at me, trying to understand. I could see myself in her eyes, the cold, unfeeling thing I had become. I wasn't healthy for anyone to be around.
She took a deep breath and spoke slowly. "Well, that changes things." I was surprised at how controlled she sounded. I had pictured her bawling, collapsed at my feet and begging for me to stay. That made is easier, but more painful. Without control, I screamed at her in my mind to tell me I was lying. Make me stay. I looked away from her hurt eyes to keep my composure.
"Of course, I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm..." I could barely make myself spit the words. "tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I had to steal a look at her, find out how she was taking my precisely worded lies. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't." She whispered, hurt clearly staining her voice and face. She was unstable, barely able to keep herself together. I watched as she crumbled right before my eyes. 'Another bit of pain to add to my conscience.' I thought. "Don't do this." I stared at her, trying to make her believe me. She couldn't possibly know how much this was hurting me. To her, I looked unattached and bored. Clearly upset to be here. But the look was only built to mask my own inner crumbling. I could only hope she could forgive me and eventually, forget.
"You're not good for me, Bella." How could she not see my utter untruth? After a deafening silence, she opened her mouth to speak. No words came out, but I did not rush her. Anything to hear her voice again.
"If...that's what you want." I merely nodded. Surely by now my voice would give me away.
"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," I paused, terrified of how she looked. She did not look sad, or mad, or happy. She looked, dead. And I had killed her. All was revealed on my face, but too quickly for her to notice.
"Anything." she whispered. I could feel myself slipping. If I stayed much longer, I would be ruined.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" She nodded, still dead. I could feel myself slipping more, so I paused, thinking clearly about all I had done to her and what would happen if I stayed. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him." It was the best I could think of to clarify, though it was disappointing dry. But she nodded and I relaxed knowing she would be safe.
"I will." She whispered.
"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be that last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life with out any interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." More so than she knew. For all she knew, I had just been sitting in the driveway waiting for her when she pulled up. But I had really been collecting all of the things that would remind me of her.
He pulled up to the small house, parking in Charlie's spot, signifying his soon leaving. After a few glances to be sure of a lack of witnesses, Edward climbed out of the car and stood, staring motionlessly. With a few quick strides, he climbed the side of the house and jumped silently into her room. Bella was due back in a few minutes, which was plenty of time with his enhanced speed. Three quick swoops around the house and he had collected everything of hers that had anything to do with him. Edward turned to face the window, but a slash of pain through his heart stopped him from moving. He could hear the noisy truck approaching, but couldn't make himself move. For a quick escape, he pulled off a floorboard and placed the things underneath it, placing it back in place to look intact. He bounded out the window and sat in his car, just as she rounded the corner and pulled into her spot.
In my moment of absence, Bella starting wobbling. She was more unstable than I had originally imagined.
I smiled, trying to make light of the situation. "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."
"And your memories?" I winced internally for her question. Why must she be full of questions in such a hard time?
"Well" I stopped, trying to regain my slipping composure again. "I won't forget. But my kind... we're easily distracted." I smiled, trying to make sure she thought I was completely uncaring. I tried to step away without her noticing, but I felt I was easily discovered. "Well that's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again." I tried to make it seem I was wrapping things up, but her look of realization terrified me.
"Alice isn't coming back." I shook my head and watched her crumble some more. "No they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."
"Alice is gone?" Her voice, again, seemed dead.
"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." I mentally thanked the doctor all those months again in Phoenix. You can see it's a clean break. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly. Hopefully his observation would be correct in this instance as well. She was breathing heavily now, and I knew I had to end this. It had gone on long enough. "Goodbye, Bella." I tried to sound light hearted and cheerful. Anything to make it easier for her. Easier for me.
"Wait!" She coughed. She reached for my hands and pulled her feet along behind her to follow. Dead. I reached for her, holding her hands securely to her sides. I allowed myself one last kiss on her forehead and whispered "Take care of yourself." I turned and ran, making a wide circle around the back of the house. I focused on the plants and life around me, blocking out the sounds of her feebly trying to follow.
A/N: Hello, people who may or may not like my writing. This might be long, I'm not sure yet, so bare with me...
A fan of mine, from A Single Mistake, requested that I write New Moon in Edward's POV. She thinks I write for Edward well, so I figured I would give it a shot. Yes, I've started and posted this, but I can't be too sure how long it will be until I update. I wanted to try this chapter out to see how hard it was. It wasn't insanely difficult, but this was an easy part. Everything was already written! I just had to change it from Bella's POV to Edward's! Plus, there's nobody's thoughts to read and all of that, so, there you go. Plus, there's school now and everything. So bare with me. If you put this story on alert, you'll know whenever I update.
So, there you have it. I hope you kinda liked this chapter, but it's pretty much a crazy long starter. Either way, I think you should stick with me.