The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants

By medea42

Author's Comments: This is set during the Invitation; a strange little scenario that I thought was within the realm of possibility given the dynamic of the 3 J's and their relative passivity when Quinn dated outside their trio. Also, this is a one-off flash fiction (think microfic.) I don't do sequels or endless chapters: I always writer with the end in sight, because except for Superman II, how often is the sequel better than the original?

Quinn had hoped to catch Sandi making out with someone embarrassing, or maybe Brittany and Kevin in a gossip-worthy position. Instead, upon swinging the door open, she caught all three of her dates in the laundry room together, doing something her eyes refused to quite translate.

Joey, Jeffy and Jamie looked back at her like a herd of deer caught in headlghts, pants around their ankles. They waited for the horror to pass over her face. Instead, Quinn looked around for possible observers before she stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. "OK, let's have a talk. Could you pull your pants up first please?"

She sat on top of the washer, averting her eyes and blushing while the boys fumbled clothing back to intended positions.

Jamie tried to cover first. "Quinn, it's not what it looks like – we were just-"

Quinn turned her eyes back to Jamie's. "What Jamal? Comparing?"

He flushed even harder, and didn't even try to correct her on his name.

"Look, I know what this is about. There were football players at my old school that were gay and in Texas, gay can get you killed."1

"But we're not gay!" Jeffy protested, ignoring the sidelong glares from the other two.

Quinn waved her hand. "Fine, whatever, maybe you're bi. But I'm guessing the three of you have been close forever, and the last thing you need is your teammates knowing how close. Am I right?"

All three boys hung their heads. Joey dropped to his knees, begging. Quinn now had new insight into why he was so good at falling to his knees. "Please don't tell anyone!"

The strawberry blonde folded her arms. "I wondered why all three of you asked me here tonight and didn't fight over it." Her face was expressionless, her eyes, calculating. For the briefest of moments the three boys could actually see a resemblance between Quinn and Daria. "OK," she said. "I know we all want the same things: to be attractive and popular and to have really, really good hair. Congratulations boys, you have a beard. Now, here's what we're going to do, starting tonight."


Daria rolled her eyes as she Quinn's dates rolling on the floor. What the hell did her sister do to men that made this happen everywhere she went? By tomorrow they'd all be taking her shopping.

END NOTE: This isn't so much about stereotypes as it is what direction Quinn would take a protection racket. I don't think she'd go so far as to blackmail the three J's for something they couldn't help – Quinn definitely has more compassion than that – but she would still use it to her advantage, especially if it resulted in them buying her stuff.

1 I have no idea whether this is the case nowadays.