Chapter 5

The next morning, back at Headquarters

Ahhmmmnnhhhh!!" Raito yawned and stretched his aching arms.

L was perched in an irregular position on the chair next to Raito with his head strewn about with exhaustion. The bags under his eyes had actually turned a shade darker, much to everyone's surprise. No one deemed it possible.

"Mmmm Hey Raito," he mumbled lazily, "I ran a DNA test on those fingerprints on the

yawn * tip note and then I put it through our database and it brought up our "false tipper." Raito swung around in his chair, suddenly alert.

"Male, 19 years old, 5"7, Asian, 55 kg, Blood type: O, red hair, brown eyes, and unemployed with a valid registered gun license. Name: Mail Jeevus. Does he ring a bell?"

Mail Jeevus…..Mail Jeevus…Mail Jeevus?…. .huh….

"No," Raito shook his head, staring in frustration at this odd compilation of a man.

"I'll look into him later," L muttered, rubbing his eyes. He was once again lost in thought of their late-night Rendez-vous.

"Seems his record is as white as snow except for a few assaults on a few young men. And an attempt at minor store robbery with a flashy pink .49 caliber rifle."


He shrugged warily and continued his paperwork.

A few minutes later, his struggled and forced concentration was interrupted by the panda.

L bit the nail of his thumb while mumbling something about "Fun Size…Nate….. Angry Sally…Mihael……and they were …….and it was Mel-"

"Who the hell are Fun Size and Angry Sally?!" Raito snapped in frustration and fatigue.


Uuh errr…Matsuda has a boyfriend!" L shouted childishly.


"I so do NOT!" Matsuda retorted, red faced.

Everyone stared.

"…'d you know?" he mumbled quietly, face turned down, burning with embarrassment.

Both detectives forgot what they were talking about.

Once again. L's eyes resembled fine china saucers.



Random cries burst out around the room (with the occasional snort or snicker, of course.)

" Man, I thought you were as straight as a pole!" Raito was nearly shouting.

L snickered. "Poles can bend," he retorted playfully, obviously referring to Raito as well.

"Uhmm…hisnameismikamiteru," Matsuda blurted out in one breath.

"Tall dark and Geeky?" Raito snorted.

L couldn't help but laugh out loud.

The fatigue that had clouded the two detectives earlier was now forgotten at the interest in the exposed topic of Matsuda's love life.

"Well, whatever floats your boat Matsuda…. Literally."

L struggled with fits of laughter, sounding quite maniacal.

Raito collapsed in intervals of laughing fitss on the floor, doing that unattractive snorting thing again.

"Ew, stop Yagami, it reminds me of when we were in that closet and I-"


Aizawa, Matsuda, and Mr. Yagami stared in disbelief at the laughing snorting pair, not sure what petrified them the most, the very unattractive snorting, the fact that L said "ew", or the idea of the two detectives in a closet doing who knows what.

Raito and L straightened themselves up and abruptly went back to what they had been doing before, imitating dying old men sitting in chairs and staring into oblivion. The only difference was the fact that their exposed necks were glowing.

Mr. Yagami made his way over to the detective pair and placed a firm hand on both of their shoulders.

"I'm concerned for you two. Was the tip-off investigation exceptionally tiring? Both of you have been yawning and stretching this past hour, not to mention acting very out of character." The chief detective appeared to be very troubled for his son and L.

"mmhmmm….yea," Raito mumbled, hardly attentive to what his father was saying.

Their cloud of fatigue had mysteriously come rolling back soon after their fit of spontaneous giggles.

L grunted.

"Maybe you both should rest. Earlier, when Matsuda asked you both if you wanted any coffee, you snapped "He threw his pants at the door" and L shot up and screamed "OH SHIT FUN SIZE AND ANGRY SALLY!" while picking his nose. I am very concerned about your outrageous behavior."

"Dad, we're fine, just a little bit tired, ok?" Raito sighed unenthusiastically.

"I'm keeping an eye on you two,"

"Yea yea…if it helps you," Raito muttered.

Raito snuck a glance at L who was glaring at his latest marshmallow creation in front of him, his mind obviously elsewhere.

Raito grabbed a blank note card on his desk and hastily scribbled something onto it.

He pushed onto L's desk to the spot where he was glaring.

L blinked and looked up. "Since when do marshmallows give lectures on the human fetus…" he trailed off with a confused frown on his face.

"Uh…ahem," Raito raised an eyebrow.

"Then they threatened to kill me so I was using my mind hate to counter-threaten them," he continued, sounding completely senseless now.

Raito raised another eyebrow.

I didn't know I was that good. He smirked to himself.

L looked down at the note card and picked it up, still confused.

It read:


"The Story of Raito and L" by Raito Yagami.

Setting: In L's pants, upstairs, in a random bedroom.

Date: Today

Time: Five minutes

Main Characters: Raito, the rich gentleman and L, the dirty cabana boy.

Season: Spicy

Once upon a time, Raito explored the wondrous depths of L's pants.

They had fun.

The End.

L stared at the note card, and soon a smile crept over his lips, soon forming an obnoxious grin.

"Well, Ryuzaki and I should get some rest, marshmallows are talking to him," he snorted.

"Good, make sure you sleep for at least 5 hours!" his dad called after them as they made their way to the stairs.

"Don't worry, we will," a sly grin formed on his lips and L snickered.

Raito was practically dragging L up the stairs, yanking the chain constantly.

"This is going to be fun." Raito gave him a devilish grin.


Raito tripped on something at the top of the stairs.

"What the?!" he glared at the slip of blue paper at his feet. There was an elegant cursive "M" encrypted on the front.

L picked it up at the corner, dangling it before him. He observed it carefully.

"It's the same handwriting as the anonymous tip by Mail Jeevus.

He began to read it out loud:

Dear Mr. Imagay and Mr. Ryuzagay,

"Gay" has highlighted in both of their names.

I hope you enjoyed your early Christmas present…..

………. They're pretty good, aren't they?

"What the hell?!?!"



Yes, as tragic as it is, it was my first story….joy….anyway, please be critical and give comments! I accept visa and master cards. Please, no pre-paid gift cards. I also accept underwear. Thanks for the pickles!