Cortana narrates an image of the earth.
"We shot at them, with bullets. We thought there was no such thing as zombies. We were wrong. Dead wrong. Dead Halo."
Cut to a bus of bikini models flying towards the camera, exploding in motion. Bombastic orchestral violins begin to riff. Cut to Cercil Saltstein standing in a giant antechamber and shrieking at the Prophet of Truth.
"I will continue my raping obsession with corpses!"
Text Card: Our Worst Fear. Cut to a group of Covenant Elites dressed as the members of the Village People standing in a row. The Prophet of Truth narrates.
"No ass has ever withstood our enema."
Text Card: Our Darkest Hour. Image of Mendoza in nothing but a thong oiling his bronze skin up. Cut to Cortana.
"Chief, we're running out of lube."
Cut to flash of Covenant scarab dry humping a human building in New Mombasa. Text Card: Our Only Hope. Cut to the Chief staring out from a pelican drop ship's hanger bay door.
Cut to an onslaught of images: the Chief shooting the Covenant, throwing grenades at the Covenant, shooting alongside marines, stopping marines from throwing grenades, shooting marines, killing marines. A tank roles over a pile of gay porn magazines and fires a shell straight into the dusky air between two large butt cheek like buildings. The Chief and Oreo make out against a bulkhead as Miranda Keyes watches with vague interest. Cortana brings up a hologram of a man with a horses's bit in his mouth. Sergeant Johnson, dressed in white, steps out of a bright light.
"I come back to you niggas, at the turn of the tide."
Cercil's voice narrates over the images.
"There are things about HAYLO even the author does not understand."
More images: Cercil as the Arbiter drops to his knees and punches Half-Jaw in the balls, Oreo grabs Lord Hood by the collar and slaps him, the Chief rips out a Brute's heart, butts heads with Cercil, fights off a million tentacle dicks, grabs a flood combat form's deflated tit, fires a machine gun at a bombed out and piss stained urinal, punches a pregnant women in the eye. Half-Jaw grabs the Heretic leader's ass, causing him to fire both his plasma rifles at once in surprise. The figure of a young woman stands back lit-she is wearing leather and has raven black hair, with two katana swords across her back. Lord Hood jams a medal onto Miranda Keyes's tit, causing blood to welt up on her uniform as she appears to orgasm from the pain. A swarm of flood infector forms explode, covering Mendoza's eyes-closed, open-mouthed face as he sits on the ground and angles his face up towards the blast.
Cut to title Card: Haylo Too: Many Gay Jokes. Truth narrates.
"There are those who said new chapters would never come. What have they to say now?"
Coming in 3091!