I'm so sorry this has taken so long, I must have redone this chapter a billion times, there's a guest appearance by some of my favourites finally, and this is building to something, really.

And thank you all so much for your reviews, they are what kept me going and wouldn't let me forget about this. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Thirteen: In which Fine Print is Ignored

For Harry, the weekend brought rather unique challenges, communicating through Sal for short bursts was alright. A total pain in the arse, and often horrific on his part when the painted man attempted to make him splutter and blush, but convenient enough. It was the long stretch of the weekend ahead of him that he dreaded, sure he could insist his friends hang out somewhere with a portrait so he could grab occasional snatches of conversation, filtered through a third person with his own opinion on the important details. And gee didn't that just sound like a super duper fun weekend. Frankly he'd rather have the weekend to himself, away from… well, people really.

He'd woken up to Ron shaking him excitedly, speaking incomprehensibly as per usual for now.

Which brought him to moping over the breakfast table while Ron and Hermione were deep in a gibberish conversation with McGonagall, Harry sat in self-imposed silence, the lone grump in a crowd of excitement and smiles that were exchanged all over the Great Hall.

Things that usually amused him, today just annoyed him.

Seamus was on the receiving end of an angrily hissed, "Why don't you just use the room of requirement you prat? Everybody probably knows by now anyway! Just hurry up and get laid so you can quit with all the fucking touching!"

It didn't help that Snape sat there calmly buttering his toast like nothing happened, like Malfoy hadn't kissed him (quite well admittedly but he wasn't interested in the blonde ferret, not when there was an altogether darker and more tempting option in a long flowing robe and did his hair look nicer? Well it was a weekend so no potions classes or lankness, how did he never noti- oh god he was looking, look away!) and he hadn't ended detention prematurely the one damn time that Harry wanted to hang around, fleeing the room like someone had farted.


Severus glanced casually at the Gryffindor table as he buttered his toast, freezing when his eyes locked for a moment with Harry Potter's and the boy looked away, a flush spreading becomingly across his cheeks. Well that was… intriguing. Snape quickly fixed his gaze elsewhere and bit into his toast speculatively, had he ever received that reaction before? He didn't think so, surely he would have noticed if he'd received such a lovely blush. Although he did seem to be more closely attuned to Potter lately, he blamed proximity although that was hardly the full cause.

Although wasn't there a saying about proximity breeding…. Breeding…. Fuck it bred something and that was about as far as his mind got before the images started flooding in again, it was getting ridiculous. He had never been so glad for a Hogsmeade weekend, it was his time for a little… privacy, without fear of being interrupted by students.

As always Severus went from sitting and eating to sweeping out of the Great Hall in almost one smooth movement, startling half the hall. But honestly, he needed to get out of there before bending his student over the table seemed like a feasible idea. He didn't stop until he reached his rooms for some well-deserved time to himself.


Harry's best friends waited quite impatiently for him to finish his breakfast, which with the mood he was in simply made him eat at half speed, seemingly attempting to savour every single bite and sip of it. Finally when his plate was empty they dragged him to the nearest portrait and started babbling at the father of Slytherin.

"Apparently it's a Hogsmeade weekend, the teachers have decided it isn't safe for you to leave the castle but your friends think its stupid and you should just take one of the tunnels," Salazar translated, the smirk that usually accompanied any talk of mischief gracing his features.

Harry fought not to let out a sigh of relief, he managed to school his expression into something suitably wistful, "Tell them I'd better not, its hard enough when everyone knows, there's no way I could hide this out there, I'd rather this doesn't get back to Voldemort," Plausible excuse, done.

Ron and Hermione tried to argue but Harry, through Sal, stood firm, he was staying in the castle.

"Tell them to make sure they pick me up some lollies and something fun from Fred and George," Harry smirked, "Can't wait to see what they've come up with now."

"Be sure to pick him up some very healthy food and nothing from Fred and George he said," Sal told the pair with an innocent smile.

"Yeah right, don't worry mate, I'll take care of the souvenirs," Ron grinned touching Harry's arm.

The brunette couldn't understand the words but he was pretty sure he knew the sentiment behind them. He couldn't help grinning in response.

"Come on, I'll grab you some money so you can get all the best stuff to play with later!" Harry said pulling the redhead along in his wake.

Hermione just rolled her eyes and called after them, "Don't worry about me, I'll just wait here shall I?"


Ron and Hermione just about had to fight their way into Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, that was no surprise, the twins had a very successful business on their hands. No the surprise was that as soon as they entered all they could hear was hissing. It was everywhere, it filled the room grated on the nerves in a way Harry's no longer seemed to.

"Ron! Hermione! Isn't this brilliant?!" Seamus grinned at them, he tossed them each a packet of lollies, "Better get some before they sell out!"

The frizzy haired witch examined the packet, "Parsel Tongues? That's disgusting," she made a face at the tongue shaped lollies.

"You think that's bad, George wanted to make them parsley flavoured," One of the twins said draping an arm around her shoulders with a grin.

"You always did have the strangest taste brother of mine," Fred said with an answering grin, his arm slung about Ron's shoulders.

"Really though, we heard what's been going on," George cleared his throat meaningfully.

"Gotta move with the markets, snakes are very in right now," Fred smirked, gesturing at the nearly empty table.

"Or at least they want to be," George grinned with a roguish wink.

"I'll bet they do," His twin agreed, their eyes twinkling with mischief.

Hermione cleared her throat, "You're not saying these actually let people speak in parseltongue are you?"

"Course not," Fred snorted.

"It says very clearly here in the fine print," George added helpfully.

"Yeah right down the bottom."

"Oi you mean this smudge here?" Ron asked raising an eyebrow.

"Exactly, not our fault if people don't read the fine print," George informed them innocently.

"Always read the fine print I say."

"Especially before purchasing a product."

"Of course, who would be stupid enough to buy something without-" The twins wandered away, their discussion bouncing between the two of them, as usual.

"Let's just buy some things and get out of here, all that hissing is giving me a bloody headache," Ron groaned rubbing at his temples, he loved his brothers, really, but sometimes he just wanted to wrap their heads in duct tape.


Meanwhile Harry was enjoying a quiet, relaxing morning to himself, wandering the castle. He'd managed to find many hallways empty of the portraits that seemed to be getting on his nerves more and more. After about an hour of wandering he ended up in the room of requirement, just kicking back on a couch with a Quidditch magazine written entirely in Parseltongue.

It was the most relaxed he'd been since that damned night, so relaxing in fact that he dozed off, not waking up until an insistent hissing broke through the fog of sleep.

Harry opened his eyes blearily to see clear blue eyes staring intently back at him, he groaned and shifted, "Fuck off Malfoy," he hissed closing his eyes again.

The blonde growled and the hissing grew more insistent, but Harry just rolled over, or tried to anyway. He was pressed onto his back and a weight settled over him. Harry's eyes shot open wide to find Draco Malfoy straddling him and hissing in what Harry felt sure the blonde thought was a seductive way.

The brunette groaned and instead of getting off him, Malfoy took it as a cue to kiss him again, his tongue insistently pressing against Harry's lips while hands explored up under his shirt. He quite lost himself for a few moments until he felt the hardness pressing against him.

Harry managed to jump up, dumping the blonde unceremoniously on the floor he bolted. Fucking Slytherins. The Slytherin he didn't want wouldn't leave him alone, the one he did want avoided him like the plague. He ran until he found a part of the castle he didn't recognise, if he didn't know where he was, he doubted anyone else would be able to find him.

"Why Harry, you're bright red," except Sal of course, the painted man seemed to be able to find him no matter where he was.

"I went for an unexpected run," Harry informed him drily, "What the fuck is with your damned Slytherins?"

The founder's eyes lit up, "Did Severus finally make a move?"

"Se- Snape?!" Harry yelped, "Of course not! Dra- Malfoy keeps, he keeps um, kissing me."

He began fixing his clothes which he'd just noticed the state of, he looked like he'd been making out in a cupboard somewhere, which technically he sort of had been.

"Oh," Salazar sounded a little… disappointed? "You really should talk to Severus about it, Draco is his responsibility after all."

Harry's cheeks tinted lightly as his heart rate jumped a little, "I… why don't you? Its not like I can really talk to him anyway. Can't you just go?"

"And say what exactly? Hello Severus, Harry just wondered if I might come have a word with you about Malfoy, seems the damned boy won't stop kissing him. Do something about it won't you dear boy?" Sal raised an eyebrow, "You don't think it might seem a little odd coming from me?"

"I guess so," Harry agreed reluctantly, "But, won't he be angry if I disturb him?"

Salazar Slytherin rolled his eyes, "Just follow me Harry."