Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Baywatch. I would have gone blind from all those loud colours and blond hair.

Author's note: For Aikage- my fangirl, my muse, my kagebunshin. XD


Milan, Italy.

This was beyond humiliating. Sasuke wanted nothing more than for the earth to open and swallow him. When there was no divine intervention forthcoming, all he could do was to stare at the source of his embarrassment.

It wasn't unusual to run into an ex. It is an uncomfortable experience that people go out of their way to avoid; but it happens, and you learn to deal with it. However, it is not everyday that you run into that ex. The ex who was your best friend until he convinced you, beyond any reasonable doubts, that not only were you gay, but you were gay for him. The ex that you gave your virginity to and secretly centred your world around until you dumped him after your first year of college. No, an encounter such as that was not an everyday occurrence. Even less frequent, was running into him halfway across the world; but if you did, you certainly wouldn't want to be dressed in nothing but a pair of bikini briefs and ass-less leather chaps, as Sasuke currently was.

"Interesting outfit…" Naruto murmured, not lifting his eyes from Sasuke's crotch as he loaded the camera. "What exactly are you guys supposed to be advertising again?"

"Cowboy hats. You know the Naked Cowboy? He's commissioned an entire line and maybe underwear too," the assistant, Marie, happily explained.

For the first time that evening, Naruto actually looked above Sasuke's waist. "Oh, there's a hat too!"

Sasuke was just a small push away from taking said hat and shoving it where the sun didn't shine; which would have been an exercise in creativity, since Naruto maintained a tan in some interesting places.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke managed to get out through gritted teeth.

"Serendipity. One of your regular photographers is a friend of mine. He ate some bad shellfish and asked me for a favour."

Sasuke wouldn't call it serendipity; it was more like a curse. He glared as Naruto squatted down and prepared to take aim with the camera.

"So how do I do this? Just point and click, or do I have to encourage you by talking dirty or something?"

"Just take the damned pictures. I know what to do."

Naruto grinned and started snapping away.


Finally the shoot was over, and Sasuke stalked off to change, leaving Naruto to figure out what to do next. For answers, he turned to the over-caffeinated assistant.

"So what now?"

"When Elle shows up, she'll go over the pictures you took and select the one's she likes. She's runs the campaign. She'll be here soon."

As if on cue, the front doors of the building were shoved open, and a woman strode in wearing red leopard print and ridiculously huge sunglasses, not caring for the fact that it was well past midnight.

"Elle has arrived, worship me bitches!"

"That her?" Naruto asked, blinking in the glare of the outfit.

"Yeah, how did you guess?" She wasn't being sarcastic, after fifty cups of coffee; one's brain starts to melt.

Elle glided into the studio, demanding to see the photos from the shoot. Naruto was first up to bat.

"My god, aren't you gorgeous? New guy? What agency?"

Naruto looked about to see who the colour amplified woman was referring.

"Ah no, I'm not one of the models."

"Want to be one?" The woman apparently had modelling contracts tucked in her bosom.

"No thanks, I don't belong in front of a camera."

"Call me if you change your mind." Her brassiere also contained business cards. "Don't take too long though; you aren't going to be good looking forever. That aside, why are you talking to me?"

"I was one of the photographers on today's shoot. I'm supposed to go over the shots with you?"

Soon they were skimming through the shots Naruto had taken for the shoot. After a few seconds of 'hate it', 'love it' Elle paused the slideshow.

"Who's that?"

"Sasuke!" Marie, the faithful fount of knowledge, burst out. Elle took off her sunglasses in surprise.

"What did you do to him? How did you do that?"

"Err, what?" Naruto's nervousness immediately skyrocketed; you never know when this woman might attack.

"He looks…Marie, a word!"

"Umm, hot, sexy, naked, sultry, sexy, passionate and sexy?"

"Yes those."

"Isn't he supposed to look that way?"

"Well yes, hence my confusion. Sasuke is an absolutely beautiful boy, but he only has one look. The icy, condescending, don't touch me; you're dirt, kind of thing."

"Oh yeah. He's been working on that one since he was three."

"You two know each other?" Elle suddenly understood the situation as Naruto nodded. "Who do you work for? Need a job?"

"I'm actually a photojournalist for National Geographic; I'm just helping out today. Thanks for the offer though."

"Suit yourself, but playing hard to get can become really old."


Sasuke finally finished scrubbing away his make-up. He didn't intend to give Naruto any more ammunition than he had already. Outside, the sudden drop in temperature momentarily stunned him. He turned to see Naruto leaning against the building, trying to make shapes with his icy breath.

"Finally! I thought you were planning to camp out in there." Naruto pushed off the wall and moved towards Sasuke. "Like a group beauty sleep or something."

"What are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you."

Sasuke was doing a perfect job of looking aloof and annoyed, although his heart was slamming against his chest; he thought his ribs might crack. Naruto came to stop a few inches in front of him.

"You grew your hair out." Sasuke mentally kicked himself after that moony observation.

"Oh yeah, I found some old photos of my dad and decided I liked his hair." Naruto grinned sheepishly as he rubbed a hand through his wild, spiky hair.

"You look taller." It was official; his mouth had become disconnected from his brain.

"It's not the hair." Naruto pouted. "I've grown since college, see?"

Naruto inched closer, proving to Sasuke that he had managed to pass him in height. "So, you want to go get a drink?"

Alarm bells immediately went off in Sasuke's head. This wasn't their first meeting since they broke up. Fate somehow had them coming across each other no less than twice a year. Each meeting started off with Naruto having some seemingly innocuous request such as having a drink. Every single one of those meetings ended in less-than-innocent places, including the back of Naruto's car and a dark alleyway.

"It's just a drink, not a marriage proposal." Naruto had been watching the very interesting expressions flicker across his friend's face.

"Fine, a drink, nothing else…"


"So modelling huh?"

Sasuke ignored the urge to dump his drink into Naruto's hair. "It pays the bills."

He wasn't being cute either. This modelling thing was seriously bailing him out of debt.

After their relationship had transitioned to being lovers, Naruto had made it his personal crusade to get Sasuke to stop from pining away in his brother's shadow, and quit his never-ending struggle to please his father. Buoyed by Naruto's hot air, Sasuke was soon kneeling before his father, trying to stand up to him. It hadn't been the fiery, decisive confrontation Naruto had been envisioning. There's was a lot of nervous mumbling and sweating involved. Sasuke finally managed to tell his father how he felt about being the second Uchiha son. He spoke about his feelings of inadequacy, and his refusal to put up with it anymore. In the end, Sasuke managed to get a lot off his chest…except the issue of being gay. He wanted to stand up to his father, not kill him.

When Sasuke had finally looked up, his father was apparently mulling things over. After a while, Uchiha Fugaku spoke. It may have been wishful thinking, but it seemed that the man was proud of Sasuke's bravado. He told his son that he was never less loved than his older brother, and that as a father, Fugaku regretted Sasuke felt that way. He said that it was also evident that his second son had become a man. (For a wild moment, Sasuke thought that he was referring to losing his virginity, an event that had happened some months earlier.)

The whole speech filled Sasuke with a warm, gooey feeling. That is, until the other shoe finally dropped. Since Sasuke was now a man, he should be able to take over manly responsibilities- which included paying your own college tuition fees. So Uchiha Fugaku cheerfully co-signed Sasuke's student loans, but he wasn't going to pay a red cent. This is why at the end of his college tenure, Sasuke found himself over two million yen in debt.

He hated it, and had no intention of taking years to pay off the loans. Given the amount of money he needed in the amount of time he had set, Sasuke believed he had two options- become a high-end gigolo, or join the Yakuza. Fortunately, Elle had discovered him before he had decided on one.

"I'm not going to be in it much longer. When my contract expires, I am leaving the business to do what I always planned to do." Whatever that was.

"But you're so good at it. You're disgustingly good looking, and you photograph so well. I've seen a lot of your stuff. The critics are saying that if you diversified your look a bit, you could become supermodel material."

Sasuke smirked. "Since when are you into fashion?"

Naruto smiled. "I'm not into fashion, I'm into you."

Check and mate. It took great physical effort not to go up in flames. Sasuke took a deliberate sip of his drink to buy time. He was overly aware of the physical- Naruto's leg brushing against his, tanned fingers resting on the table, and most of all blue eyes that were completely focused on him. Sasuke started repeating a familiar mantra. Do not go to his hotel room; do not go to his hotel room.


He didn't end up in Naruto's hotel room, Sasuke remaining firm on his resolution. This show of iron will was somewhat undermined by the fact that they were currently in Sasuke's hotel room, recovering after getting vigorously reacquainted.

"I hate you." Sasuke panted out, fighting air down into his lungs. He lay on his side, depending on the heat from the body behind him to keep him warm, since the bed covers had been kicked off. He could feel Naruto smile as the other nipped his shoulder, fingers trailing seductively up his legs, to caress pale thighs.

"I really hate you." He breathed out as his body started responding to the light touches. Naruto's smile got a little broader as he started kissing behind Sasuke's ear.

"Did I ever tell you that I really love the socially retarded ways you express affection?" Naruto's hands abandoned Sasuke's thighs to grasp and stroke at a body part that had Sasuke arching and moaning. "So, how much do you hate me now?"


The idiot had killed him. He had told the moron that three times was his limit, but no, blond idiots just could not be satisfied. Sasuke blinked in the glare of the heavenly light. It was just how he imagined it would be, though honestly he didn't think heaven would be so indecent. They had gotten all the details right, down to the glowing angel who looked just like Naruto, naked but for the towel wrapped around his waist, censoring the best parts.

"Sometimes I wonder what is going through your head, but I think I am better off not knowing." Naruto started scavenging about the room for his clothes. Sasuke sat up, realizing the glow was nothing more than sunlight streaming into his room.

"Don't you have another shoot today?"

Sasuke nodded and yawned, thankfully it wasn't until the afternoon. He needed some recovery time. His eyes flew open as he felt the weight of Naruto kneeling unto the bed. He was caught off guard as Naruto leaned in, brushing dry lips against his own. Sasuke's hands automatically went up to pull the man closer, deepening the kiss. Kissing Naruto was his favourite thing to do in the world, well second favourite if he was honest. The absolute favourite involved Naruto as well.

"Hey Sasuke…" Naruto whispered as the pulled back. "Let's be lovers again."

Every time they had gotten together since the break-up, Naruto make that request, and each time it was harder to say no.

"For the hundredth time, no. Why can't you get it through that thick skull that I don't want you?"

Naruto shrugged lightly as he pulled away. "You let me into your bed so easily. It's kind of hard not to misinterpret."

This was another worrying thing for Sasuke. In their earlier interludes after Naruto would ask for reconciliation, Sasuke's response would crush him. Now it seemed that Naruto asked only as homage to tradition, rather than as a genuine request. He didn't want to think that Naruto was over him, not while he had yet to make any progress in that area.

"If I had known you were going to be in Milan, I would have arranged for more time here. I only have enough to complete my assignment and get on a plane to India."

Sasuke swore his life shortened a bit. "You're on assignment?"

He always acknowledged that Naruto's job was perfect for him. Naruto had a gift for finding and capturing the beauty of things most people would overlook, and managed to take moving and telling pictures of the various social events he encountered. Sasuke bought every copy of the National Geographic that listed Naruto as a contributing photojournalist, and any newspaper for which he happened to freelance. Sasuke's problem was the incredible risk that went with the job. War-torn regions, jungles, deserts, unexplored caves, even the 'puff' pieces about flora and fauna, had Naruto scaling waterfalls and rappelling down cliffs. Even thinking about it now, it was a wonder his hair didn't go white.

"It's not something weird is it?"

Naruto cocked his head and blinked at the question. "Weird?"

Sasuke groped to find a less offensive adjective. "Weird…stupid."

Apparently it was not less offensive because Naruto's back immediately straightened.

"There is nothing weird or stupid about my job." Naruto ground out as he picked up his coat. "I can have enough respect for you, not to rag on a job that has you wearing nothing but a cowboy hat and a smile; the least you can do is not rag on mine."

"I wasn't trying to-"

"I'll see you around." And with that, Naruto stalked out, slamming the door.

Sasuke flopped down into the bed, defeated. Well that ended well.

As it would turn out, the article was on the cathedrals in the city, but that was cold comfort to Sasuke.


New York, USA

Naruto strolled lazily along the beach, idly snapping pictures of the people and scenery. Suddenly there was a clear cry for help.

"Help!" Yes, exactly like that. "I'm drowning."

"By the gods, that beautiful and nubile young woman is drowning!" Exclaimed an old man who apparently thought everyone else was blind and deaf.

"Not if I can help it! Hold this." Naruto shoved his camera at the man, peeled off his shirt and then ran towards the water.

'Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light!

Some people need to have somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight.

Don't you worry, it's going to be all right!

Cuz I'm always ready, I won't let you out of my sight!'

Naruto reached the flailing young woman, giving her assurances as he picked her up and moved back towards the shore. She appeared unconscious as he lay her on the warm sand, and pressed his lips against hers. She coughed daintily before sitting up, good as new.

"Oh thank you, you saved my life." Her dark eyes fluttered as she looked upon her saviour with smouldering gratitude.

"It was nothing."

"Don't be so modest!" She grasped his hand and pressed it towards her heaving, bikini-clad bosom. "Who knows what might have happened!"

"Really, it was nothing…you were drowning in three feet of water."

"It was scarier than it looked. Please, let me thank you in that conveniently empty lifeguard tower over there."

"Well, who am I to deny a thank you?"

Neji struggled to keep a straight face as he sipped his drink. Moments like these where Sasuke revealed his vivid, but carefully hidden imagination were very rare.

"That's what you think Naruto is doing in India right now?"

"Humping some belly-dancing cow just because she can put her leg behind her head…" Sasuke muttered darkly into his black coffee.

"I think it would probably be sacrilegious to hump a cow in India, even if it did somehow manage to learn to belly-dance."

Sasuke's look clearly said that Neji's attempt at wit was much unappreciated.

"I loved your imagery, though. I could practically hear the 'Baywatch' theme playing right through out. Still, this long distance jealously thing you have going on must be very tiring. Why break up with someone if you are going to do nothing but think about them all the time?"

"I do not."

"Well that was a convincing argument, I dare not object. Why don't you just get back together with him? That way you can enforce the 'sleep with anyone else and I will kill you' law."

"I have no intention of doing that! I had my reasons for dumping him, and they are still valid."

"So then what do you care if he is banging his way around the equator. As long as he has you listed as a friendly port, I don't see why you are having a problem."

Sasuke had no good response of any of Neji's annoying observations. He simply sent his friend a pointed glare and stayed quiet.

"You know until you mentioned the scenario, I have never imagined Naruto as a lifeguard; more of an Indiana Jones/Tarzan meld."

If looks could kill, Neji would have been nothing up a pile of ash in a fashionable suit.

"What? If you don't want people fantasizing about your ex-boyfriend, get yourself an uglier one."


Cape Town, South Africa

It was difficult to sit still in the heat, and Sasuke found himself starved for air conditioning. It wasn't so much the heat as it was the humidity, but both were driving him crazy. Thankfully his outfit was one of the cooler designs in the shoot, but for the leather arm-guards. Sasuke didn't know what is was about the costume, but he was really enjoying wearing it. He guessed it was a bit on the ridiculous side. He was supposed to be an ancient samurai or ninja or something. He had difficulty imagining any of his forefathers wearing an outfit so obviously not battle-friendly. His chest was very exposed, the pants were an odd shape, and the large purple rope belt seemed to be the only thing keeping this whole outfit together.

He still had a while to go before his shoot started, and Sasuke headed into the men's room to splash some water on his face. He was heading back out when the idiotic rope belt snagged. He had been right, the belt was the only thing keeping the outfit together. Everything fell apart, his shirt slipping off and his pants heading south for the winter. He made a desperate attempt to stop the collapse but was failing miserably.

"It's a sign. I walk into the room and your clothes start falling off."

Sasuke nearly gave himself whiplash, snapping his head up so quickly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Your guys should know not to mess around with unfamiliar foods. How lucky are you that I just happen to be in the same town… again?" Naruto smiled easily, in absolute contrast to Sasuke's fluster. "Need help?"

Sasuke realized that he was going to have to sacrifice the shirt to pull up the pants. While Naruto looked on with amused interest, he shed the shirt and used the rope belt to secure the pants, albeit awkwardly. Grabbing the shirt from the floor, he attempted to storm past the idiot blocking the exit. Instead he found himself pressed backwards into the door, Naruto nuzzling his ear as he leaned against him. Sasuke guessed there was no longer a grudge about the job insult.

"Are you really going out there dressed like that? You don't want people thinking that you are doing something as clichéd as sleeping with a photographer, do you? Come on, let me help you out."

It always starts with a request that seems innocent enough, so it wasn't until Naruto's hands were sliding up his side, and the rough pad of a thumb sliding across his nipple, did any alarm bells start going off in Sasuke's head.

"That's not helping." Sasuke whispered as Naruto started nuzzling his neck.

"Well you have to understand, I am a lot better at taking clothes off you than I am at putting them on. Just playing to my strengths."

Sasuke did not feel like contradicting that truth as his hands went up automatically to fist into the blond hair. They both moaned as their lips connected, Naruto pulling the rope belt off, disrobing Sasuke once again.

"Aren't you going to tell me you hate me again?" Naruto whispered as he stroked a very hard Sasuke.

"I will if you don't hurry up."

Sometime later, Marie was sent to hunt for Sasuke to start his photo shoot. Deducing that he was in the men's room, she bounced up to the door and prepared to knock. However, Sasuke's pre-empted her.

"Oh god, I'm coming!!"

"Okie dokie then, I'll tell them you're on your way. Don't panic, you're not late." With that, the merry assistant bounded off. That was one of the things she liked about Sasuke, always so professional.

'Professional' was not the most appropriate word to describe Sasuke at that moment. He was flushed and sweating, resting his forehead against the door as he attempted to recover and come down from the high. His outfit was in discrete piles on the floor, and his alleged photographer was slumped heavily against his back. He really hoped the costume materials were crush-resistant.

"I think Gidget out there misunderstood your outburst." Naruto said as he reluctantly moved from Sasuke.

"Shut up and help me get ready, idiot. It would be your fault if I'm late for a shoot while actually being in the building."

"Just play the diva card. Hey, do you get to keep these arm-guard things?"

"Why?"

"I don't know, I'm not usually into leather accessories, but for some reason I find them incredibly hot on you."

Sasuke snorted derisively, knowing fully well that he wasn't allowed to keep the guards, and also knowing fully well that he was now going to have to figure out a way to steal them just because the moron was hot for them.

The two of them finally managed to put the outfit back together and Sasuke left the bathroom, while Naruto waited for an appropriate amount of time to elapse. No one was any the wiser except Elle, who didn't get this far in the industry by being blind. She took in Sasuke's flushed appearance and bruised lips, and guessed the rest when she saw Naruto slyly exit the bathroom. She didn't mind, she thought Sasuke's look would work well for the shoot, and thankfully Naruto rarely came by. Soon the shoot was set up, and Sasuke was handed a large Katana as his prop.

"That is so cool." Naruto gawked at the shiny weapon as Sasuke took a few practice swings with it.

"It makes the whole look." Elle said as she took up her observer's position.

Naruto believed truer words had never been spoken. Up until now, he felt Sasuke looked like a gender-confused pirate.

"So what are you guys advertising? Sportswear, costumes? Or is this one of those random shoots that seems to have no purpose?"

Elle sniffed at Naruto's question. "Every shoot has a purpose. In this case, we are advertising deodorant."

"Of course, how did I not see that. That was the purpose of the original samurai, ultimate protection against underarm wetness."


"Are you stalking me?"

The shoot was now over, and Naruto had been watching the sunset over the horizon, when Sasuke came out and asked the pertinent question.

"I don't know why you'd leave this business when your ego matches it so well, Sasuke."

"That's not an answer."

"If I had the time, money and resources Sasuke, I would chase your stubborn ass all over the globe. Unfortunately I don't have any of those, so I just have to depend on Kami-sama to ensure our paths cross."

"You're a moron."

"Come on, we're inevitable, like rain, tax, after lightning- the thunder claps. Oh god I'm quoting Celine Dion. No one should be that gay."

"You're an idiot."

"Don't be so difficult. You know what the odds are of two people in our professions coming across each other this often? Obviously the higher powers that be want us to be together. So what do you say, Sasuke? Want to be lovers again?"

"You're an ass."

Naruto blinked before moving towards his friend.

"That wasn't a 'no'," Naruto whispered softly as his hand moved to stroke the other's face.

The moment was broken by the alarm on Naruto's watch going off. He silenced the alarm, looking at the time and wincing.

"It's this late already? I have to meet my contact in an hour." They would be travelling for hours before they got to their intended location, and he couldn't afford to be late. "It sucks but I have to go."

Sasuke wasn't thinking clearly as he grabbed unto Naruto's shirt, halting his departure.

"It's something stupid again, isn't it?"

"For the love of god, Sasuke, why so you always-"

Naruto paused as he took in the look on Sasuke's face and how the man was gripping his shirt so tightly, his knuckles had gone paper-white.

"You're worried about me, aren't you?"

Sasuke snorted, but was unable to force himself to relax his hold on the cotton shirt.

"Is 'stupid' and 'weird' your way of saying 'dangerous? Are you asking me if my assignment is dangerous?"

Sasuke refused to meet the blue eyes that were watching him steadily. "Well…is it?"

Naruto smiled, he should have guessed what Sasuke had been trying to ask the last time, instead of blowing up and leaving. Still, it would help if the man wasn't so emotionally repressed.

"You don't have to worry. You know me, I am virtually indestructible."

That was not reassuring, and Sasuke's face said as much.

"You know, for extra insurance, you could tell me that you love me and that we're together again. That way I will be extra careful, and will come home with no bruising, knowing I'll have to pass inspection later."

"You really are a moron, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you love me anyway."


Tokyo, Japan

Winter in Tokyo was always beautiful. The soft snow crunched under Sasuke's boots as he moved through the crowded city. It was good to be back home in Japan; jet-setting not being all it was cracked up to be. He paused as one of his ads came up on one of the giant electronic billboards in the city. It was from the samurai shoot. Sasuke had to smile, Elle was right- he always did look amazing when Naruto was behind the camera. He turned away and resumed his stroll along the street, suddenly feeling a bit lonely at the thought of the idiot. Maybe the next time serendipity or whatever brought them together; he'd give Naruto his number, just so they could keep in touch…nothing more.

"You're always so naughty, Naruto."

Sasuke ground to a halt and started looking about. He finally saw them, Naruto and some woman who looked as if she had just materialized from the pages of a fashion magazine. She was laughing, loosely linking her fingers behind Naruto's neck and blushing prettily as he whispered something in her ear. Sasuke inhaled sharply as he watched the scene, but was frozen to the spot. As if aware that someone was watching them, Naruto turned around and spotted him.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke then found the will to uproot himself from the spot, turn heel and walk away quickly. He ignored the sound of his name being called and took one blind turn after another, just trying to get away. He should have swallowed his pride and run, since before long; someone was grabbing his arm and spinning him around.

"What is the matter with you? Why are you always running away from me?"

"I am not running away, I am just giving you some privacy. I wouldn't want to interrupt." Sasuke yanked his arm away and started moving away again. He managed to get all of two feet.

"She's just a friend from one of the newspapers I freelance for sometimes."

"Right, with friends like that, who needs call-girls?"

"I'm not lying to you, there's nothing going on."

Sasuke shrugged Naruto off once more. "Well what do I care? It's none of my business."

"Will you stop acting like a brat for five minutes?"

"Who the hell do you think you're-"

The escalating argument was cut off by the arrival of a giggling young woman, who stumbled into the clearing. She was apparently a little drunk, and it took her a while to realize that she wasn't alone. She blinked as she tried to focus on the two men, and hiccupped a greeting. She blinked a little more as she focused on Sasuke, obviously trying to place him. Just at that moment, the giant billboard, visible from the clearing, cycled to the man's samurai advertisement. The girl gasped.

"Oh, oh, you're Sasuke-sama!"

Something in the girl's high-pitched squeal put Naruto on alert. Something told him this girl wasn't just any normal, slightly drunk fan.

"Um Sasuke, I think we need to back up and leave. Do it slowly and don't make any sudden movements- we don't want to set her off."

"What are you talking about; it's just a harmless girl."

"She's not a harmless girl. That is a fangirl, and they are a dangerous species. We should leave now before she signals the other members of the pack.

Too late. "Everyone come quick, it's Sasuke-sama! He's here!"

In another minute, there were about five other gawking girls joining the original. They were all giggling and whispering excitedly amongst themselves. Naruto's laced his fingers with Sasuke's.

"On my mark…" Naruto whispered. "We're going to run."

"You're going into Crocodile-hunter mode aren't you?" Sasuke hated Naruto's Crocodile-hunter mode. It usually involved a lot of unnecessary running.

Naruto didn't get a chance to respond, as one fangirl let out a war-cry and the group started charging in unison.

"RUN!"

Sasuke did not need further encouragement, the girls looked rabid. Not only that, they were fast too. It was only the long strides of the men that kept them at a safe distance.

"Maybe we should climb a tree or something?" Sasuke feebly suggested as Naruto took one hairpin corner after another in an attempt to stay ahead.

"They are girls, not alligators. If they can run this fast and manoeuvre in those heels on ice and snow, I am sure they can climb a tree if properly motivated."

They were pulling away steadily, when disaster struck. Naruto skidded and slipped on the icy pathway. Sasuke turned back to help him.

"No don't! It's too late for me. Save yourself!"

Sasuke looked from the fallen Naruto, to the rapidly advancing fangirls, and back again.

"Okay!" And with that the brunet took off at a sprint, leaving an incredulous blond gaping.

"Son of a bitch."

Naruto scrambled to his feet and took off after the fleeing form. He managed to catch up after much huffing and puffing. Why were all fangirls always this fit?

"I can't believe you left me back there!"

"Hey, they aren't after you. You would only have been trampled."

"Oh that's a comfort. I would have gotten off Scott-free with nothing but a few broken bones and massive internal injuries."

"Just shut up and run."

They finally found a hiding place, and they stayed perfectly still, listening to the confused sounds of their hunters as the girls walked about trying to determine where they had gone.

"They're trying to pick up our trail. Thankfully our surroundings should mask our scent."

"Naruto, I am being hunted down like a wounded animal, and am lying in a dumpster being crushed by the combined weights of you and garbage from god-knows-where. This could all be a wee bit more bearable if you would just stop narrating!!"

"Right, right. Sorry."


Sasuke sighed as the warm water sprayed over him. He had lost track of how long it had been since he was in the shower. Every time he closed his eyes, he could only recall Naruto and that woman laughing and flirting. He bit down on his lip and turned up the force of the shower. His brooding was interrupted by the sound of the glass door sliding open and an intruder stepping inside.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You've been in the shower forever, I'm tired of waiting. I stink."

"No arguments here. Fine it's all yours."

He slid past Naruto, admittedly disappointed when the latter did nothing to stop him. He stalked out of the bathroom, wrapped a towel about his waist and flung himself into a chair, unsure what to do. Naruto finished his shower quickly.

"How much longer is this hissy-fit of yours going to last?"

"Die in a fire."

"Forgive me if I do not understand your problem. If I recall correctly, you dumped me, and all rights to be upset, nearly six years."

"Well you were hardly in mourning for long were you?"

"You're kidding right? I have asked you countless times to get back together."

"As if anyone could take you seriously. And I'll have you know that I could care less about what you do and who you do it with. Just do us both a favour, just forget we ever existed and leave."

Naruto bit his tongue. He knew from years of experience that he would never win in a verbal contest with Sasuke, so it made no sense to argue this out further.

"Fine."

Sasuke faltered a bit. "What?"

"Fine, I'll get out of your hair, and quit bothering you."

Sasuke opened his mouth and closed it, watching in consternation as Naruto started rifling through his drawers.

"I'm just borrowing some clothes since mine smell. I'll launder them and mail them back to you."

"You're actually leaving?"

"Well I will after you explain why you dumped me."

"I told you already."

"You told me some crap about long distance relationships not working, but now you are going to tell me the truth."

Before Sasuke could react, Naruto's hands were circling around his waist and warm lips were brushing against his. He moaned as he was lowered unto the bed, his towel being slipped off. He arched as the skilful fingers trailed down his chest and abdomen to brush along his hardening shaft.

"Why did you end this Sasuke? Were you bored? Was there someone else?" This was the only time Sasuke ever readily complied with his wishes, and Naruto was going to take full advantage of it.

"You told me to."

"What?" Naruto blinked in confusion even as he kept is hand moving, keeping Sasuke off-balance.

"You said it, back when you wanted me to give up on beating Itachi and winning my father over. That I should never live my life completely centred on someone else."

"How did that apply to us?"

Sasuke sighed, wishing his idiot wasn't always so slow. "You could always get me to anything you wanted, no matter how idiotic it was, or how much trouble it would get us into. Then we became lovers and my whole world became about you. During that first year of school it drove me crazy wondering where you were, what you were doing and who you were doing it with."

"Yeah, me too." Naruto smiled as he admitted the same feelings.

"So I started to wonder if I gave up my obsession with my brother and father, only to become obsessed with you."

"So you dumped me…"

Sasuke nodded, and Naruto laughed.

"You're such an idiot. Sasuke, it's always a very thin line between being crazy in love, and an unhealthy obsession. If you over-think things, that line is going to get very blurry."

Sasuke did not appear convinced, so Naruto continued.

"First of all, you're rewriting history. I may have convinced you to do a bunch of stuff, but I always had to beg, bribe and blackmail you into doing them. You are a very difficult and uncooperative person."

"That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me."

"It's sad, because I know you believe that. Another thing, what we have isn't an unhealthy, obsessive or any way negative. Okay, maybe a bit obsessive, but we are two guys in love; it's just how it is, Sasuke."

"You got over me…" Sasuke pointed out accusingly.

"I never got over you. Are you insane? I love you, you bastard. I always have, and at great risk to my mental health, I always will. You're still in love with me, right?"

"Tsk, I guess."

"I'm moved by your verbosity. So can we please get back together now?"

"You're asking seriously?"

"Cross my heart and may ramen taste bad if I lie."

"Well, I've got nothing better to do…"

"That's one of the things I love about you Sasuke, such a sweet talker."

Later, Sasuke would never admit how happy he was to wake up in his lover's arm. It was a wonderful feeling, hopelessly tangled up with Naruto, with no assignments or plans for escape.

"I can't believe you had me chasing your ridiculous ass for six years. You're such a dork."

"You're lucky I didn't make you wait for ten more."

"Oh, and who said I was going to be running after you that long?"

Sasuke yawned and flung an arm across Naruto's waist, wiggling closer to the tanned body, it wasn't snuggling- he was just trying to keep warm.

"You wouldn't have had a choice, idiot."

"Really, why is that?"

"Because of what someone unbelievably wise once told me- we're inevitable."

The End.


A/N: Major points to you if you guessed that my mood music was 'I'm too sexy' by Right said Fred. XD

MUY IMPORTANTE!!

So dig this, there's going to be a SasuNaruSasu fanbook! The Lemon Tree Parade will feature awesome selections from the world of the Naruto fandom. All thing NaruSasu and SasuNaru will be celebrated!! There will be porn...

(cough) Anywho, the line up includes some amazing artists and writers, offering up the best of their talents. I'll also be contributing so send us the love.

Check my profile for details!

Check out the talent and spread the word! It's going to be an awesome collaboration.

Disclaimer: Ifthereain'tnoporn,youcan'tsue!Butitwillbeawesomeinanyevent.