I walked along casually, nudging the long grass with my paws as I went, my mind drifting in every which direction.
I wondered if I looked into a mirror, would I recognize myself? I felt that lately I'd been acting like an entirely different person.
I felt silly, first of all. I had been far too emotional the past few days. Screaming, laughing, and crying, and for the entire world to see, without putting hardly any effort forward to conceal my feelings, like I should. I felt like a book that had been left lying open on a table, unable to close itself. Anyone could read me, especially Jacob Black.
I almost felt like Jake was inside of my head. I had been hanging around him so much since I had received the wedding invitation. Sure, I was always hanging around Jake, but it had been different lately. I had shown so many sides of myself in front of him, and I was beginning to feel a little self conscious about it. Why did he even bother hanging around me? He's even told me before what a nuisance he thought I was. I knew I was one, too – I wasn't going to deny it.
It was difficult looking back at the past week or so, knowing how much of myself I had revealed unconsciously, without meaning to. I felt as if all my defenses had been broken down and that there was no way to protect myself. Unfortunately, I couldn't take it back, either. Once he had seen those different sides of me, I couldn't turn back time to make him forget. I had to be more careful with what I said and did. Otherwise, I'd scare him away.
Not that I cared what Jake did or didn't do, of course.
Seth was a short ways off, pacing back and forth around the Cullen's mansion. I knew he could see me moping, but he knew better than to bug me. Either he was being considerate, or he thought I'd start being a bitch if he came within ten feet of me. Maybe it was both. Either way, I accepted the privacy thankfully. I wasn't feeling too much like myself. It was like I was experiencing one of those strange out of body experiences. The last thing I needed was to be interrogated on top of it.
Luckily, Jake was inside with the leeches, otherwise I was guaranteed an interrogation. He was nosy when it came to things like this. I guess I couldn't place the blame entirely on myself when it came to how much Jake had seen the past few days. He was always sticking his nose where it didn't belong.
A cool breeze came through, ruffling my long fur. I sat down, letting out a low moan. I wasn't sure what to do with myself anymore.
What was I doing, anyway, running around all day to protect the bloodsuckers and the monster baby? My instincts kept telling me to not become part of it, but for some reason, I stayed. I supposed there was nowhere else to go.
I was also surprised that I didn't miss La Push in the least. I was glad to be rid of Sam and Emily, shocking as it was. I was never going to get over him if he was around all the time, inside my mind. I felt more comfortable with the new, smaller pack.
Glancing over at the house, I began to wonder what could be happening in there right now. How much longer until the monster was born? What happened to the pack after that? I sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and adore the baby mosquito, no matter what my leech loving brother or Jake wanted. They could stay here. After the birth, I was long gone.
Though to where, I still had almost no idea. The best option was probably what Jake and I had discussed a few days back about just going out and living in the wilderness. I supposed that would be all right.
There was a loud noise as the garage door opened. I raised my head, not used to the Cullens leaving the house. One of their beautiful cars sped out of the garage and down the driveway, already flying. As it drove past me, I spotted Jake in the driver's seat. His expression sent a chill down my spine. He looked angry, betrayed, and hurt all at once. I wasn't sure how someone like me could depict the emotions so easily, but Jake was an easy person to read, I guess. It wasn't normal to see him looking so upset, though.
Glancing back at the house, I was able to piece things together. It had to be that damn Bella again. She must have said something hurt Jake, like she always did. As if she were the only person in the world. Just because the entire town of Forks worshipped her didn't mean that we should have to take her shit, though. I stood up, my hair rising on my back.
Bella had always bugged me. She was so self centered and selfish. I supposed I wasn't too much better, but at least I didn't intentionally force my problems onto everyone else shamelessly like she did. It wasn't my fault the pack could read my mind. It wasn't my fault that Jake pried answers out of me. I wasn't trying to get attention, no matter what they might think. And I surely never took someone's feelings and used them for my advantage the way she did with Jake.
Not that anyone loved me, but even if someone did, I'd never hurt them like that.
I thought of Jake and how he had been so supportive around the time of the wedding. "Fight the imprint!" I remembered how he had offered to dance with me, for the whole party to see. I remembered how he had let me cry on his shoulder and hadn't teased me for it. I remembered our bike ride, and how hard he had tried to make me laugh, and how he had succeeded.
Even if that damn werewolf was a nuisance, he was a kind nuisance. No one had ever put in so much effort to cheer me up and push me forward before now. Jake seemed to naturally lift people's moods, so why did it seem that everyone else naturally brought his down, especially Bella, whom he had helped the most over the past years? It just didn't seem right.
I quickly phased into my human form, yanking my clothes on as quickly as I could before sprinting to the Cullen's house. This would be my first time going in there, and it wasn't a confrontation I was anticipating, but none of that mattered. I owed Jake after all he had done, and inhaling a little vampire stench wasn't going to kill me.
I stormed right through the front door, not even bothering to knock. I slammed it shut behind me, shaking the walls of the house, before storming forward to where she sat on the couch, smiling and laughing as her family surrounded her, grinning at her, encouraging her, telling her how much they loved her, reminded her of how special she and her child were. Did Jake ever get shown that kind of appreciation? What had Bella done to deserve this? She had caused Jake to run away once, and he hadn't come back for quite a long time. He had left once again, and this time I wasn't going to forgive her.
They finally looked up, shock gleaming on their stone faces as they looked me up and down, as if not believing that I was actually standing in their living room. I had eyes only for Bella, though. I was positive that it had been something she had said that had upset Jake. It was always her.
"You said something to upset him again, didn't you?" I demanded in a harsh tone, crossing my arms as I glared down at her. She seemed to shrink under my hard gaze.
"I didn't mean to," she defended. "I didn't mean to upset him, I was just so happy that I almost forgot about how he must feel."
"It wouldn't be the first time!" I snapped, feeling my voice tremble from rage. "You always do things without ever considering how it'll affect him! Do you know what just happened?" I hissed, pointing over my shoulder. "He's left, again! All I can say is that he better come back, or I'm holding you responsible!" I let out a groan, rolling my eyes at her. "I don't get why you keep him around if all you're going to do is put him through all of this! Always begging him to stay, just to push him away over and over again, telling him that you love him just to say that it isn't enough, and that you don't want him anymore. Then, the next day, you'll have him come back again!" I glared down at her once again. Her eyes were beginning to water. Good. That meant I was getting my point across. "So knock it the hell off, Bella Cullen, because if you ever hurt him again – and I'm sure you will, as always – you'll be answering to me, and my fangs!"
"That's enough!" Edward cried, grabbing me by the arm and pushing me to the door. "I won't have you coming in here and talking to Bella like that."
Of course not. I was surprised they didn't kill me right there for making their princess cry. "The truth's the truth, vamp. It's not my fault if she can't handle it."
He slammed the door even harder than I had only a second after I stepped onto their porch. I glanced back at it, shooting it a bitter glare, before trekking back over to the woods to phase.
I sat there, allowing everything that had happened to sink in, swishing my tail back and forth behind me as the sun began setting. I felt relieved – almost giddy – after having finally given Bella a piece of my mind. Jake was too nice to her, so I had to take the responsibility and put her in line.
I felt strange, though, sitting out on the lawn of the girl I had just fought with and her adorers. I didn't belong here, protecting Cullen land, after I had just threatened one of the people I was protecting. Perhaps I didn't have to wait until the birth. Perhaps I should leave now.
No, I was going to wait until Jake came back. Who knows – he might agree to come with me. I knew Seth wouldn't.
I wasn't afraid to go on alone, though. I'd been alone most of my life, anyway. Nothing much would change.
I heard the sound of his car again. I hadn't expected him to come back so soon. I debated for a moment, wondering if I should bother to tell him where I was going, before phasing and pulling on my clothes. I darted out into the street, jumping in front of the car so he pulled it to a halt.
Jake rolled down the window, poking his head out to shoot me an annoyed glance. "Are you nuts? What if I hit you?"
"I doubt a car could kill me," I muttered, rushing over to his open window. "I'm surprised you're back already."
He frowned. "What? You thought I was going to vanish into Canada again?"
I shrugged. "It was possible, wasn't it? I would if the bloodsuckers treated me the way they treat you." I leaned down, dropping my voice to a whisper. "Even though I'm not the one in there, I feel a little used." I took a deep breath, focusing on my shoes. I wasn't sure if he'd be able to accept what I had to say next. "Jake, I'm leaving."
He paused a moment before asking, "What are you talking about?"
I glanced up uncertainly. "I can't stay around here any longer, Jake. I need to leave right away."
He seemed confused. He blinked, taking slowly. "W-where are you going?"
I shrugged. "Wherever my legs bring me."
"When are you leaving?"
He sighed, leaning back in his seat. "That's too bad, really." He shot an awkward glance at me. "Sure you don't want to wait a few days? The baby's due soon."
I shook my head. "No more waiting. I've wasted enough time."
He let out another, longer sigh. "Why now?"
A pause. "It's complicated."
"I've got time."
I took a deep breath before plunging forward. "Jake, this isn't right. It isn't healthy. We can't sit around here, letting the vampires and Bella walk all over us all the time. We have to move on – to be independent! It's just not right."
Jake winced. "You know what happened, then?"
"I got the main idea." I smirked. "I gave it to them good." I wasn't sure if he'd approve or not, but at this point I was sure I was leaving by myself, so it didn't matter.
He looked at me, confused again. "Huh?"
I shook my head. "I'm leaving now, Jake. I don't have time to sit around and talk about it. I have to go do it!"
"Wow," was all he said as he started up the engine again. "I don't really know what to say."
Say you'll go with me, I mentally begged him. "Don't say anything, then. I don't care one way or another." I backed away from the car and into the forest. "Later, then?" Pleas say you'll come. Don't let me go alone. I've been alone long enough.
"Yeah, later." He started the engine again, driving back into the villain's lair, straight into Bella's lap.
I was completely inside the trees now. His car was gone, and so was I, apparently. I had to leave now.
I pulled off my clothes before phasing, leaving them in a pile near the tree. I supposed I wouldn't need them, so I left them there as I began racing off into the wilderness.
Even in my wolf form, I felt lost. Not lost as in I didn't know where I was going – though I didn't, actually – but lost in my mind. I wasn't sure what to think. Somehow, I had been sure that Jake would come with me. How wrong I had been. He could never leave Bella. I should have known that. All his help over the past few days hadn't meant anything. It never would, either.
At least I had been able to make a good exit.
I sped along, moving faster and faster, leaving the whole mess behind me. Things could be simpler now. Nothing could hold me back anymore.
Faintly, I could hear another set of paws behind me. I was going to kill Seth for following me.
Wait up! Man, Leah, don't you ever slow down?
I came to an abrupt halt, startled to hear Jake's voice. I spun around, cocking my head at him. Sure enough, he was running behind me, struggling to catch up.
Jake, I thought, what the hell are you doing here?
Edward told me what happened between you and Bella, he told me.
Shit. Now he was going to lecture me.
I'm not going to lecture you.
Get out of my head.
He rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to remind me that that wasn't possible. I'm here to thank you, for crying out loud!
Thank me? Was he crazy? I had just verbally attached his precious Bella and he was coming to thank me?
I don't entirely agree with what you did, he continued, but the thought that was put behind it was good. Thanks for sticking up for me, Leah.
Like it mattered. Either way, I was on my own now. I was beginning to wonder if I had made a mistake after all.
So, where are we headed?
I let out a laugh. We? Don't you need to go help give birth to the spawn?
He shook his head. I'm sure they can handle themselves. Besides, I'm not sure I could stand it.
Jake was actually going to come with me. I wasn't going to be alone in this after all. I was sure that if I were in my human form, I would've been smiling. What if I told you it was to late? I teased him as we began running, side-by-side.
Yeah, right. It's not my fault you run so damn fast.
Sure, Jake could be a nuisance, and I was sure we'd drive each other insane. We got along enough that I was sure this could work, though. If we put some effort forward, I was sure we could get along just fine.
Author's note: Thanks so much for reading my story! This is how Breaking Dawn should have ended (at least I think so). Jake and Leah belonged together! Anyhow, thanks again for reading, I hoped you liked it and that you'll drop me a review and let me know what you thought!