Smart Celebi and Stupid Mew
Hints of 51shipping. Mew/Celebi OWN ! ;D Very, very light romance. More humor. ENJOY !
" I think pancakes are the greatest thing in the human universe ! I can eat them morning, afternoon, and evening ! I think that the suffix -ing is the best suffix in the world ! You can add it to anything ! Pwning, retarding, stupiding ! Hee hee...it's sooooo fun ! "
" I love ocean food ! It's so fun ! And so are meadows, and psychic energy, but not Mewtwo, 'cause he's a prude. I've been wondering what ever happened to him. Heyyy, maybe he got 'sploded in a bomb ! That would be funny ! "
" Uh, Mew ? "
" Everyone says my eyes are as wide as a Hoothoot's. I hope that's not true. My eyes are niiiice and pretty. You though, Celebi. You're green is soooo pale. It's like a spring color, you know ? Spring is not popular right now in the fashion society, and I know you are a dude, but good Giratina, maybe a tie or twenty wouldn't hurt you. You know, human clothes aren't that bad. Why do you think I had a washing machine installed ? I wanted to study human technology, and the Nintendo Wii is flippin' awesome, man ! "
The washing machine exploded in forty pieces, leaving Celebi to glare daggers at his girlfriend, Mew. He rubbed his dark circles. " Mew, what the hell is wrong with you ?! " he snapped. " You can't turn on one of those machines with nothing in them ! Do you want us dead ?! "
Mew shrugged as she nibbled on her tail softly. " No. I want to talk. Isn't chattering fun ? I think it's fun, fun, FUUUUN ! "
Celebi groaned. " Just shut up already, Mew, for your sake. "
" DAH ! I DON'T WANT SAAA - KE ! "
" What the- I said, sake, not saaa - ke ! "
" Oh. Well, you and your words that sound nearly the same. You know I'm not as smart as you, Celebi-kun. "
T.T " Damn straight. "
Mew sweatdropped before giggling. " Oh, well...I'm gonna take a nappie nap. Don't overkill your brain, 'kay ? "
" ...Okay... "
The furry pink pokemon teleported into the bedroom. Celebi banged his head on the coffee table. It had been two months since the two legendaries moved in together, and so far Mew had driven Celebi a little more angrier with each day. She was a total ditz, and he was good-brained. She was stupid. He was smart.
And unfortunately for him, she had a fancy for human technology, which wouldn't be so bad...if she knew how to use it properly.
Celebi slapped his forehead as he hovered over the television and watched the dazzling TV screen. As he flicked through the channels, he heard Mew's high-pitched voice call out from the bedroom. " Celebi ! " she squealed. " I broke our air conditioning ! "
(Celebi) T.T " Gotdamn it, Mew. "
" So...what do you want me to do ? " Arceus inquired, trying to stifle his snickering.
Celebi pounded his fins on the table. " Arceus, I may be small and cute, but that doesn't mean I want to be treated like a piece of crap ! "
" What does that have anything to do with Mew breaking your A.C. ? "
" D- Don't toy with me ! I can create a riot with veteran zombies from the Civil War all over again, just like in 1947 ! "
Arceus sweatdropped and shook his head. " I don't know how you can be so moody, Celebi, but no, I will not replace your air conditioning. Maybe you should consider breaking up with Mew... "
" NO ! She may be stupid, but somehow I feel I need to protect her. "
V.V " Even if it is her fault. "
-.- " Yeah, even if it is her fault. "
Arceus gave a small shrug. " Okay, then, Cel. So...just a question, but what are you gonna do with Mew ? "
Celebi's face turned into a sinister grin. " Payback. "
" Vicious ! For the last effin' time, put on the new pair of prisoner clothes before I choke you with them ! "
" FINE ! GIVE THEM ! "
The guard threw the clothes at Vicious's head, and Vicious scowled. He had been in prison now for two years, four months, three weeks, and six days, and things just sucked as badly as on the first day that he had arrived at this dumphole.
And for good reason he was in there, actually killing Suicune, but he didn't get away, since a million Celebi had revived the legendary gerbil.
So...there he was, sitting in a prison cell, plotting revenge for the light green pokemon, and at the same time, fearful of it.
-.- " Gotdamn it, Mew, why when you chatter like a flippin' Jirachi you somehow manage to blow something up ?! "
" Gee, Cele, I don't know. Idk. "
Celebi groaned as he and Mew stepped inside the madman's cell. Vicious gawked at the two legendaries. " Uh...it's the pixie...and...a rabbit-cat thing ? "
" IT'S MEW ! " Mew snapped.
Vicious sweatdropped. " So...you gonna kill me or somethin' ? "
Celebi scoffed. " Oh, no. I don't wanna be sued. I just want revenge. "
" AND I WANT MAPLE SYRUP ! " Mew added.
O.o " Yeah... "
" Don't mind her, " Celebi muttered. " She may have created Kanto, but she's a total idiot. "
Vicious's sweatdrop grew larger. " Please don't kill me, Green Pixie Thing. I want to be spared ! "
" HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU ?! I JUST WANT REVENGE, GOTDAMN IT ! "
" Oh. Well...okay, then. Have your effin' reven- "
Celebi turned around and gave a fierce look at Mew. " Mew, what the F--K is wrong with you ?! "
Mew wiggled her tail. " Well, I just wanted to help you out somehow. I knew that you had that feeling that you wanted to kill him sooooo bad, but you couldn't, 'cause you were a giant chicken. "
" I WAS NOT ! "
" Celebi, Celebi, Celebi. I always have the same feelings. "
" You do ? "
" Sure, I do ! Why do you think I will do anything for a plate of brownies ? "
T.T " 'Cause...you're psychotic and you have mental problems ? "
Mew shrugged. " Partly. But...yah. Hey, do you mind if I get my revenge ? I've been wanting to kill that nooby blue-haired crossdresser for a while, now. Pisses me off to see him live...and he has a giant stash of chocolate brownies. "
Celebi slowly nodded. " Yeah...of course. "
" Oh ! And afterward we can have a romantic date at the Olive Garden ! "
" No-ho-ho-ho. We go there, and you will end up accidentally setting it on fire. "
" Okay ! A romantic date at Taco Bell ! "
" All right. We have a date. "
Celebi and Mew shook fins/paws and teleported to the hot-air balloon where the 'nooby blue-haired crossdresser' resided.
One thing was sure, though. Mew may have been stupid, but she obviously knew how to coax Celebi into a relationship with him.