A Pirate's Life Isn't For Me


An overall POTC hater is forced to go to a premier of the third movie. During which she falls asleep and is sent to the place she despises! Will she change her mind about pirates? Or will she try to mess around with the movie? SELF-INSERT. NO ROMANCES

DISCLAIMER: I don't own POTC. I wish I did though.

A/N: I want this to be the most realistic self-insert series on POTC. Since I can't really predict other people's actions, I'm going to literally put myself in the story because I know what I would do in those situations. Of course, if I hated the movie. I'm sick of all the I LOVE PIRATES AND I GOT SENT INTO THE MOVIE ones. So I thought "what if someone HATED the movie and got sent into it?" Obviously there would be a lot of humorous moments. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter one: Prologue

Ever had those kinds of friends that they all love and obsess over something you hate? Well that's my dilemma at this moment. Jeanette, and Danielle are my two best friends. I love them a lot, like any best friend should. But let's just face it, their obsession with Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom and Pirates of the Caribbean is sickening. There isn't one day where they don't mention it, and if they don't, I'm being reminded of their addiction by their Clair's merchandise (POTC book bags, socks, necklaces, bracelets, underwear…)

Don't get me wrong, I'm a Depp and Bloom fan, but I think they've done much better works than Pirates of The Caribbean.

So, like any good best friend, I let Jeanette and Danielle talk me into going to the first screening of the last film. Thank God. Let's hope they don't make a fourth, or I may die.

"Stop acting like such a baby, Marilyn," Jeanette says as we climb the mountain of stairs to the top row of soda-sticky seats.

"I'm not acting like a baby," I retort. I know I was acting like a baby, complaining about all this, so I stopped complaining about it. They did agree to come with me to a house party after this.

See, I'm not the kind of girl that has a fandom. I think the Disney/Family channel is for naive simple-minds, and I don't listen to one specific band genre. To tell you the truth I never really like boy bands, or any kind of rock band. I'm more of a house, techno, jungle, trance, dance kind of person. Yeah I'm a party girl, bitches.

I'm probably the complete opposite of my friends in every way. I don't have plain straight hair, that seemed to be an over growing trend since 2001. I don't wear Ugg Boots, or Apple Bottom jeans, or Converse sneakers. I don't think piercings are hot, and I think tattoos should be private, and meaningful, not cute and show-off-y.

My hair is a very layered bob hair cut. It's not dyed in a super cool hair colour or anything, just plain ol' brown. My eyes are gray, and my skin is pastey white, not ivory like the photoshoped whores on Myspace. I really do get pimples, people, so it's not even a smooth pastey white colour either. Now, a lot of people have weight issues, and mine is that I'm over weight. I'm around 180 pounds, and not getting any skinnier. My attire is worse than my face, but I like it. I usually wear just baggy rip jeans and a tank top, but now as I sit my ass in this sticky chair, I'm wearing my plaid pajama pants and my black ELEMENT hoodie, and men's construction boots. As you can see I like to dress for occasions. For crappy movies, I dress like I had a 5 day cocaine binge.

So the movie started, and right off the bat it was boring as fuck. After the first 5 minutes of the movie, I fell asleep

A/N: Sorry that was so short, but I want to get that out of the way. Also, I know I'm neglecting my sweeney duties, but at the moment, I haven't had any inspiration to continue Care For a Shave. And now, I really felt the need to make a selt insert, and this one has been sitting in my Documents for a while. I'm not done it, I've only done a few chapters, so I won't update this frequiently. Once every week and half or two, at most. School is starting soon, which always encourages me to write for some reason, so I hope that's good news for you all :P

Anyway, I hope you like how this one sounds so far. Happy Readings xoxox