Oh, Baby

Oh, Baby

"Fuck!" Temari swore.

Secchan, Temari's roommate and best friend, poked her head into the bathroom to see Temari slowly and repeatedly hitting her head against the wall.

"Uh…I take it something's wrong?" Secchan surmised. "I would say you got your period, but this is slightly drastic."

"I didn't get my period, that's the problem. I haven't gotten my period for the last two fucking months," Temari said irritably, desisting in her quest to either a) create a hole in the wall, or b) flatten her head.

"Oh." Secchan paused. "…that's bad, right?"

Temari looked at her with a well-duh-what-the-fuck-else-would-it-be look on her face.

Secchan recognized the look (it was one of Temari's favourites) and thought further. "Right. So it would be bad because… if you haven't gotten your period that means that you're either anorexic, which you're not, going through menopause, and you're way to young for that, or pr- oh shit."

"My sentiments exactly. And the fucking pregnancy test confirms it."

Secchan considered this, then (being the optimistic person she was) perked up. "Hey, at least we know that your puking in the morning isn't a bed!"

Temari glared at her friend. "And that's good because…?"

"I won't catch it!" Secchan grinned.

Temari threw the soap at her. "YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER!!"

Secchan dodged the soap quite easily. "You're pregnant. Nothing's gonna make you feel better."

"SECCHAN! OUT!" Temari yelled, throwing a shampoo bottle at Secchan. "YOU ARE THE MOST INSENSITIVE WART EVER!! WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU!!"

"Cos you looove me," came Secchan's flippant answer from the relative safety of behind the wall.



Later, Temari had calmed down and stopped trying to grievously injure Secchan- well, more than she usually did, anyway. Secchan still wanted to discuss this latest development in Temari's life. Temari was not appreciating this, but didn't really have much of a choice.

"Hey, Temari, one question: who's the father?"

"That's part of the fucking problem. I don't know who the fuck the father is, or could be, because I haven't had sex in like the last five months," Temari groaned with a pillow over her face.

"But you must have, you're pregnant, and unless it was a immaculate conception, which I highly doubt it was, you have to have had sex, there's no other way to get pregnant.'

Temari removed the pillow from her face.

"You think I don't know that? I'm completely at a loss as to who it could be!"

They sat there in silence for a little bit, both thinking about who it could be.

"Hey, Temari, remember that one day a couple months ago when you came back in the morning after you'd been out the night before and you had a terrible hangover and you were kinda spazzing out because you'd woken up in bed with that guy you really liked- Shikamaru, that was his name- and you were both starkers so you had obviously had sex and you said you could hardly look him in the face and you didn't want to ever see him again because now he would see you as a slut who would fall into bed with any guy at the slightest hint of alcohol and you couldn't remember how you had gotten into that situation in the first place because you had had a terrible day and had gone to the bar specifically to get as drunk as you could and you couldn't remember even meeting Shikamaru but anyway you couldn't believe you had actually slept with his and mores the pity you couldn't remember it, but you liked him so much and now he was sure to think you a slut and-" Secchan prattled.

"I thought we'd agreed never to talk of that again," Temari loudly interrupted.

"Yes, but I just wondered if Shikamaru could be the dad?" Secchan suggested.

Temari was silent for a moment, and then groaned loudly and replaced the pillow over her face.

"Hmm? Could he be?" Secchan asked.

"He's the only possibility!" was Temari's muffled reply.

There was silence for a bit. But Secchan wasn't good with silence.

"So…when are you gonna tell him?" asked Secchan.

"Do I have to? I was planning to pass that part by…" Temari answered.

"Of course you have to! There's no question about it, you must tell him!" Secchan cried.

"But I don't want to! I don't want to face him!" Temari wailed.

"But you have to! Temari, -"

"I've barely spoken to him since that incident!" Temari cut in.

"You have to at least tell him! Some time, you're going to have to tell him and give him the chance to say whether he wants to be a father or not!" Secchan told her sternly.

Temari groaned. "When did you become so serious and goddamn logical?"

"I have my moments."

'Once in a blue moon!"

"Yes, about that often." There was a short silence.

"Secchan, what the fuck am I going to do?" Temari asked.

There was a pause before Secchan answered. "…is that another rhetorical question?" she queried.

The pillow came down for Temari to stare at her odd friend.


The next day, Temari was at work, and Secchan had coerced her into believing that telling Shikamaru was the right thing to do. Temari was seriously considering chickening out, and she would, but Secchan had threatened to phone Shikamaru and tell him herself if Temari didn't tell him (Actually, Temari would have happily gone with that idea, but Secchan insisted she tell him). So, once at work, Temari summoned her courage, squared her shoulders, and walked towards Shikamaru's desk. A couple meters away, she turned back. Then turned around again. She went through this process about three times before taking a deep breath and marching right up to his desk.

"Shikamaru," she said.

He looked up in surprise. "Temari, hi! How are you?"

That's it, no turning back now. "Pregnant."

Shikamaru blinked a couple times as he processed this word. "Pregnant? You? Uh…sorry…that came out wrong…I mean…you're pregnant?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, anxiously awaiting his response.

"Oh. Um…well, uh…congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?" he asked, looking kinda sad (She had no idea why).

She looked at him for a couple seconds. "Aren't you supposed to be some sort of genius or something?"

He blinked, surprised again. "Uh…apparently…but…what does that have to do with who the father is?"

She stared at him for a couple more seconds then watched in fascination as realization dawned on his face (with all the speed of paint drying). "Oh wait…"

"You figured it out yet?" she asked.

"You mean to say that I'm the father of the child?" Shikamaru asked (sincerely hoping he was right for two reasons, one being that if he wasn't right, he would look like an absolute idiot).

"Yes," Temari confirmed.

"Oh. Oh. Well...oh." Shikamaru was at a loss for words.

"I'm not asking you to take any responsibility or anything, my friend just thought-" demanded, more like "-that I should tell you. That you might want to know," Temari said awkwardly. This was a stupid idea. Why did I have to listen to Secchan/ Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

"No!" Shikamaru's outburst stopped Temari mentally berating herself as it was her turn to be surprised.


"Um…I…I want to take responsibility."

Temari blinked. "Huh?"

"I want to take responsibility," Shikamaru repeated.

"Why?" Temari asked.

"Why? Uh… because if I have a child- or when, I should say-" Shikamaru laughed nervously. "-I want to be a part of it's life, I guess. Um…yeah."

"But…you're so lazy!" Temari blurted. She blushed and squeezed her eyes shut.

Stupid brain! You're not supposed to embarrass me like that!

Excuse me, the mouth is the one that said it!

You thought it first!

Wait… who else is in there?

"Who else is in where?" Shikamaru's voice broke into Temari's confusion. Her eyes snapped open.

"I didn't say that out loud!"

Shikamaru looked at her oddly. "Uh…yes you did."

Temari groaned and closed her eyes again.

Okay, I blame the mouth! Stupid thing lives to make me look retarded.

Thank you! You agree!

You're both ganging up against me…

Oh for crying out loud…

Temari opened her eyes. "Excuse me for a second," she said politely. She walked over to the wall and banged her head against it. She straightened up, shook her head and calmly walked back to Shikamaru's desk. "That shut them up."

Shikamaru looked at her, concerned. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Oh, yes, completely fine," Temari assured him with a cheerful smile.

Shikamaru eyed her warily. "Right…"

"Well, I've got to get to work now. We'll talk another time. Goodbye." Temari calmly greeted him with a smile and walked away.

Shikamaru leaned back in his chair and watched the (quite possibly a little crazy) mother of his unborn child (!!Scary thought!!) thoughtfully (And maybesortakindadefinitely checking out her ass- what? He could look, couldn't he? And it was a hot ass… cue guilty (and naughty) thoughts)

"Shikamaru, are you checking out Temari's ass?" Shikamaru snapped out of his… uh… reverie at the question, jumping a little in his seat.

"Chouji!" he exclaimed, looking up to see his friend and colleague, who was eating chips.

"You were, weren't you?"

Shikamaru avoided his gaze. "Maybe…"

"Dude, I know you like her. Why'd she come over, anyway?" Chouji asked.

Shikamaru took a deep breath and held it for a bit. He let it out. "She's pregnant."

"Temari? Cool. What does that have to do with you?"

"I'm the father," Shikamaru told him.

Chouji choked. After a minute, he had removed whatever was obstructing his throat, and he was able to talk.

"You…?! But that would mean that you two…!"

Shikamaru nodded.

"How?! When?!" Chouji demanded, "And why didn't you tell me?!"

"A couple months ago. We were drunk and woke up in my bed the next morning. I have absolutely no recollection as to how we ended up in that situation. And I didn't tell you because…well, I was kinda embarrassed," Shikamaru explained.

"Embarrassed? Why?"

"I don't know. I just was. Fuck if I can understand myself sometimes," Shikamaru sighed.

"Mmm. Yeah. I don't understand you most of the time. Anyway, you gonna ask her out?" Chouji asked.

"What? Ask her out/ Why would I do that?" Shikamaru asked.

Chouji shrugged. "You like her, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but… dude, I just knocked her up. I don't think she's feeling too kindly towards me right now. I'm more likely to get a slap then a date," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Then don't ask her out on a date date. Just ask her to dinner." Chouji munched more chips.

"…Chouji, I think that classifies as a date."

"Not if you say you need to discuss the baby and related stuff so why not do it over dinner. Then it's not really a date. Just dinner," Chouji said.

Shikamaru considered this. "You know…"

"Then you just need to work your way into her good graces. After all, you were both pissed and it does take two to tango."

Shikamaru snorted. "We weren't exactly doing the tango."

Chouji munched some more chips and shrugged again. "Whatever. The horizontal tango."

"Unless you screwed her to the wall, then it wouldn't be horizontal," A new voice cut in.

Chouji and Shikamaru turned to look at their co-worker and friend, Kiba, startled.

"Were you…did you hear the entire conversation?" asked Shikamaru.

"Nope, just heard 'the horizontal tango'. Could only be one thing." Kiba shrugged. "So who are we talking about?" He looked from Shikamaru to Chouji expectantly.

"Shikamaru and Temari had a drunken one-night stand and now she's got a bun in the oven," Chouji shared.

Shikamaru's jaw dropped. Kiba raised his eyebrows and gave a slow whistle. "Wow. That's quite something. Don't envy you, dude."

"Chouji!" Shikamaru exploded. 'You… gah… mean… you… just… arg…. me… humph…"

Kiba leaned to Chouji. "What's he sputtering about?"

Chouji was viewing Shikamaru with a look of mild interest. "No clue."

"You don't just blurt out something like that to every Tom, Dick and Harry that walks by!" Shikamaru finally found the words.

"It was Dick that got you into this situation in the first place, so I think he has a right to know," Kiba snickered.

Shikamaru glowered. "I'm going to… I'm just going." He got up and stalked off, mumbling something along the lines of: "…twisting my words… some friends… entire office… troublesome…"

Meanwhile, Temari had been seriously considering jumping off the balcony. Seriously. But she was afraid of heights, and anyway, Secchan called.

"So didja tell him?" Secchan asked eagerly the second Temari answered the phone.

"Secchan, I've been at work for half an hour, fuck," Temari groaned.

"Oh. So you haven't told him yet." Secchan sounded disappointed.

"No, I did," Temari sighed.

"Yay!" And Secchan was excited again.

"I was on the verge of going bungee jumping off the balcony with no bungee cord."

"Yeah, whatever." Secchan dismissed it. "So… how'd he take it?"

"He actually wants to take responsibility. He took it fairly well actually."

"Oh, that's so great! Temari,-"

"And the man in question is walking this way. Listen, Secchan, I have to go. Talk to you later. Bye," Temari quickly said, glancing up and seeing Shikamaru approaching her desk.

"Bye!" called Secchan as Temari hung up.

"Shikamaru!" Temari said brightly as he reached her desk.

"Hey, Temari," he greeted. Neither of them said anything for a little bit.

"So… uh… why did you come over here?" Temari asked.

"Oh yeah. I came to apologize. I… uh… kinda told Chouji that you're… um… yeah, anyway, he let it slip to Kiba, so… the whole building is probably going to know by lunchtime. Sorry. I completely blame Chouji," Shikamaru explained.

Temari blinked. "That it? Oh. Oh no, it's fine. They would've found out anyway, it's not as if I could hide it. I don't mind," Temari reassured him.

Great. Half of them are gonna think I'm a slut, though. Oh well. I'll survive.

I think the balcony's looking very good right now…

No, that'll look like I'm scared.

and you're not?

Yes, I am, but it'll look cowardly.

"Oh. Okay." Shikamaru laughed. "That's a relief. But… uh… that's not the only reason I came over. Um… are you doing anything tonight?"

Temari blinked again. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Nothing that immediately comes to mind, no. Why?"

"Um… well, we have to discuss… um… the… uh… baby… and… stuff-" Shikamaru was proving to be really bad at this sort of thing. "-so… uh… I was wondering… if… you would like to… uh… do so over dinner tonight? My treat." He inhaled inwardly. That's the hard part over with.

"Dinner? Uh… okay," Temari agreed (after blinking a few times, of course.).

"Huh? I mean… cool. So… should I pick you up?" Shikamaru offered.

"Ok…" Temari agreed.

I get the feeling I'm forgetting something. Something important.

Has he ever been to your place, love?

"Oh right!" Temari said out loud. She grinned at him sheepishly.

"You need my address."

Shikamaru smiled. "That might help, yes," he commented as she furiously scribbled down her address. She tore off the piece of paper and handed it to him.

"Thank you, ma'am," he said, executing a small bow as he folded and pocketed the paper. "So, I'll see you later, then. At… say, 6?"

Temari nodded. "Sounds good. Oh, and I'd like to apologize in advance for my flatmate."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "I'll keep that in mind, if she needs apologizing for."

"Oh, she will," Temari assured him. "Trust me on it." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, then, I will. See you at 6, then?" Shikamaru asked, starting to back away from her desk.

'Yeah. See you then," Temari confirmed, waving.

He grinned and waved back, turning to face the way he was going, lest he walk into something or someone.

Temari let out a small sigh as she watched him go, and rested her chin in her hand.

I could easily fall in love with that guy…

She shook her head to clear it.

Right. Work. Gotta work.

A/N: And so ends the first chapter. You know, I lost this manuscript for two months and I found in a place I swear I had looked more than once before. I was like 'OMFG WTF WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM??' My mom reckons that there are goblins that steal odd socks and medicine cups (and our house keys, occasionally) and that there is a big cave somewhere with a whole pile of odd socks and medicine cups in it (And people wonder where I get my craziness from…) and I reckon that very same goblin took this (unfinished!!) story for a couple months. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and pleeeeaaaase tell me what you thought and whether I should continue it or not. I THRIVE ON REVIEWS!! THE MORE REVIEWS I GET, THE MORE MOTIVATED I AM TO CONTINUE A STORY!! And with that said….review?