A/N: I know that in the book, the cleaning crew cleaned up the feathers and all that…but let's just pretend they didn't for this.
Disclaimer: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn all belong to Stephenie Meyer. As well as all the characters. Yay Stephenie Meyer! :)
It had really been too long since Carlisle and I took some time for ourselves. He had bought Isle Esme for me ages ago, but we never got the chance to come! In fact, Edward and Bella were the last people to visit for their honeymoon, and that was three years ago.
So, understandably, I was extremely excited to be returning here. While I love my children and my granddaughter, it's always nice to get away. Plus, my island was the best place to go for some…pleasure.
I wasn't expecting to come back to a home covered in feathers though. And I hadn't expected me bed to be broken. Carlisle was in the other room, and I called him in.
"Honey, why is our room covered in feathers? And what happened to the bed?" I asked him. "Do you think someone's been trespassing?"
His jaw dropped at the sight of the room. "I don't know Esme. When's the last time we were here?"
"Years ago," I replied. "Edward took Bella here on their honeymoon though, remember?"
"Yes, but he would never trash the place like this. He's much to respectful. And if he did, he would at least clean up after himself." I could tell that my husband was just as bewildered as I was.
Thinking back to our lives at the time that Edward and Bella were here though, I could understand why they may not have thought to clean up right away. "Well they were a little stressed out if you think about it…"
Shaking his head, Carlisle took out his phone. It rang once before Edward answered. "Hell Carlisle," he greeted his father.
"Hi Edward," Carlisle began. "I um…I have a question." He seemed hesitant about what to say.
"What's wrong? Is Esme okay?" I could tell Edward was worried.
"Yes, Esme's okay," my husband continued. "But we were a little perplexed by the state that her house here was in."
Edward paused on the other line. "What do you mean?"
"There are feathers everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. I don't know where they came from…it's really quite strange." I stifled a laugh at the expression on Carlisle's face. "And our bed was broken."
No sound came from the other line. "Edward, are you there?" Carlisle asked him.
"Yes, I'm here," he spoke slowly. "I thought the cleaning crew fixed everything up…" his voice drifted.
I took the phone from Carlisle. "Wait, you made this mess? Where did the feathers come from?"
I could hear Bella's quiet laughter at some memory in the background. What could Edward have done?!
"I…um…I sort of bit a few pillows…" Edward continued. More laughter came from our home in Washington, only this time it was Emmett's.
He bit a few pillows? What did that mean? "Edward, why were you biting pillows?"
Emmett's booming laughter continued. I heard a boom and Emmett's voice yelling at Edward.
"Edward! Did you hit your brother? I knew you wouldn't be able to behave yourselves…what kind of example are you setting for Renesmee?" I scolded my son, forgetting about the reason I was calling.
"Sorry Esme," he said.
"It's fine. But could you please tell me why you were biting pillows?" I was beginning to wonder about his mental health.
"Well, Bella was human at the time…" He didn't say anymore. Was I supposed to be understanding this? Carlisle's voice face showed that he was more understanding than I was. He motioned for me to give him the phone.
"Your father wants to talk to you sweetheart," I told him as a farewell. "I'll see you when we get home."
He said his goodbyes, and Carlisle took the phone. "I understand Edward," he began. He did?! Then why didn't I? "But that still leaves the issue of the bed."
"CRAP!" Bella's voice came from the background. "Edward, I thought you bought them a new one!"
"I was going to, love, but I was extremely worried at the time. It completely slipped my mind until right now," he explained to his wife.
Carlisle tried to get him back on track. "Edward…if you were biting pillows to be more careful of Bella's human state, then how did you still manage to break the bed? I mean, the bed at your cottage seems fine, and both of you are vampires now. You'd think that would be in a much worse state than this one."
Emmett was talking in the background again. "Aw man! Bella, I shouldn't have been giving you so much crap back then! I didn't realize you were more feisty as a human than as a vampire."
"EMMETT!" Bella screeched before I heard another slap.
"Ow, Bella, that hurt!" Emmett had it coming this time, so I didn't bother reprimanding my daughter.
Wait…so I was just talking to my son about his sex life? Without even realizing it! My jaw dropped, and Carlisle chuckled at my expression.
Unwanted thoughts started flowing through my mind. If they were breaking beds and biting pillows when Bella was human…no! Stop it Esme! Why was I thinking of that? Sure, this wasn't as bad as walking in on Rosalie and Emmett, but still. Oh no, now I'm thinking about that! Ugh, my children…