It's funny how I can't finish a whole story before another one pops up and won't go away. Annoying as hell, but I enjoy writing these stories. Probably more than is healthy for me. But anyway, another GaaMatsu fic. and this is just the prologue. I don't know how long the chapters will take for me to post, but I am a fast updater, so no worries. Enjoy.


'No.' It was her only coherent thought. The only word her clouded mind could form, the only thing that was keeping her from falling helplessly on the cold, wet ground. The only thing keeping her sane.


Her entire life was lying under her cold, trembling fingers. A man that had died for her, had protected her and helped her. Had given her what she most wanted from anyone in this world. Family. The thing she was stripped of.


His crimson red hair was sticking to his forhead, obscuring the symbol for love underneath, from the pounding rain beating the ground around them. Black ringed pale jade eyes were closed, as if he was finally in the deep sleep his self-induced insomnia prevented.

His lean muscled body lay on the ground, open wounds spilling his blood on the wet earth, pooling around herself and him.

'No. No. NO!'

She collapsed onto his chest, her small hands fisted into his black jacket, letting the sobs wrack her small form. He couldn't be gone, not after all that had happened. Not after all they had been through. He just couldn't be gone.

She choked out his name as her bleary onyx eyes gazed at his empty face. Over and over she repeated his name, hoping that it would somehow make all this disappear and bring him back to her.

Her fists gripped harder and she moved her face to the crook of his neck. Her lips rested against his pale skin where the pulse should be. It was cold.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she whispered his name again along with the words from her heart.

Anguish overcame her, and tears spilled down her soaked face, falling onto his jacket. His scent filled her senses, making it that much harder to pull back the tears.

Numbness was taking over her body, blackness covering her vision. She wanted to give into it. It promised no pain. A way to escape this feeling of hoplessness.

If she fell into the darkness, she wouldn't feel anymore. It was just what she wanted, a way out. Maybe he would be there, waiting. Waiting for her.

A sad smile grazed her lips, only to get wet by the rain and tears. Drenched by the storm and her own feelings of being lost.

It would be so easy to give in. To let go of all the things keeping her grounded, though the main thing that had held her was now under her numb fingers, bleeding onto the ground. Her soul. Her mind. Her life. All of it fell from her, like the drops of water from the sky. Like the salty tears running down her streaked face. All of it mixing with his blood spilled around her. On her. Everywhere. He was everywhere.

He was in her. He was beneath her. He was the air she breathed. He was the shadow on the ground. He was the whisper of wind that passed through the leaves and grass, creating a song that only her ears could hear. A lullaby only for her. Always for her.

The blackness covered her vision almost completely. She didn't fight it off. Why would she want to. In the black abyss she could pretend everything that had happened was just a bad dream. A nightmare that was illogical. Not plausible.

It would never have happend...if she could just...close her eyes...let her heartbeat slow to the silent rhythm that his now portrayed...let it all go...into the recesses of her all..a bad dream...


...It never happend...


...She would be with him soon...


...What was that? What was that noise?...

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The darkness reseded from her vision, and she wanted to cry out, beg for it to come back. She didn't want to live on in a world where he didn't exist. It was impossible to survive without her safe harbour, her lighthouse in the harsh winds, always guiding her back. Her mentor. Her lover. Her everything.

The thumping became quicker, and her blurred vision cleared a fraction. She stared at the pale skin at the nape of his neck where her face was pressed against him. Her lips still rested agaisnt his throat, where moments ago, a beat did not exist. But now...Now a steady thrumming, that was slowly picking up pace and volume, was a pulse.

Life. Him. Her. Warmth. Pulse. Comfort. Hurt. Pain. Healing. Life. Life. Life. Him!

Her voice cracked as she spoke. Filled with an overbearing relief and love. Enough that could have sent the world into a spiraling mess of confusion from the amount of emotion in the one word that broke past her cracked lips and tear covered complexion.


so? Oh, and just to clear this up so you won't get confused on the first chapter. This chapter is a future thing, this will happen again in later chapters. The upcoming posts are from the beginning to this point in time, letting you know what led to this situation. And I hope you will enjoy the story. I myself am a kind of curious to see where this will lead.