Disclaimer: own Battlestar Galactica I do not. (hehe I don't really care for star wars but feeling like Yoda is awesome ).
My second try at a BSG fic, and my second Lee/Kara. Takes place sometime between "Unfinished Business" and "The Eye of Jupiter", but there's no spoilers that most people don't already know. Slight references to "Unfinished Business" (well, New Caprica really).
Summary: "Honey," Kara said, cracking a smile at the now nervous Lee as she straddled his waist, "I'll be in your suicide note before I'm done with you."
This is Our Love Story
The wedding band on his finger taunted her, made her wonder just how deep with him she could tonight get before he realized what her plan was all along. And then he looked up, and time was up.
His eyes taunted her, scrutinizing her every move, just as they always had.
At least nothing had changed.
She shivered, though she wasn't sure if it was from the chilly air of the Galactica or the boring gaze that Lee was currently applying on her. She liked to think it was the first one.
And she hated to admit that she's wrong about that.
She honestly couldn't explain what…attraction he held to her. It wasn't as if he was insanely good looking (okay, he definitely was, but she pushed that thought away). They had been there, done that with this, and she had thrown it away. It was her fault.
(Should that matter?)
And she couldn't explain why she finally gave into it and kissed him.
They were in the pilot's bunkroom. Anyone could catch them here. He was leaving, and she watched him get up, before saying "Wait." He looked back, and she stood up.
Well…it was now or never.
She grabbed his shirt, pulled his face towards hers, and kissed him hard.
(It was now.)
She pushed against his chest, effectively pinning him against the wall and unbuttoning his shirt.
He wasn't exactly reacting that enthusiastically, his hands simply remaining on her waist.
(That would change soon enough.)
"Kara, stop." She kissed him again. "Kara. You need to stop. We can't do this."
"Do you want this?"
He stayed silent. "I love my wife." She pretended not to notice the emphasis on wife.
She laughed hollowly. "Love is overrated." Her eyes hardened. "This isn't love. Or, it shouldn't be love; I guess I lost the right to love you back on New Caprica. This is…release. I want it. And you want it." She pushed him back against the wall, kissing him again. "So let's do it."
She kissed him again, this time threading her arms around his neck, and he tightened his hold on her hips.
"Kara," he attempted to say strongly, but it came out as more of a moan as she ground her hips against his.
"Would you rather me go out into the fleet, and find some random guy to get my release from?" His eyes darkened with a possessiveness she had never seen. There; she had him.
"Oh, so you're gonna go up to Tyrol and say 'Hey, I kinda wanna have sex. Can I borrow a Raptor to go and search around?'"
"I'll find someone on Galactica. I'm not half bad looking."
"I bet your husband would love to hear this." He spat out the word husband like it was a curse. For her credit, she didn't falter.
Kara winked at him. "Oh, I bet he would."
"You said you wanted this. With me." She wanted to punch him. She was getting frustrated; the CAG wasn't exactly the easiest person to deal with.
"And you didn't deny wanting it either!" If she was going down, she was going down with a fight; she wasn't exactly the easiest person to deal with either.
"Kara, we can't do this."
There was no real reason for him to explain why they couldn't. As if they weren't obvious enough. She turned away, her back to him, trying not to let him show that he had just broken her with those five simple words.
It had been so long since she had been cared for (and she meant really cared for, and that didn't come from Sam; that came from Lee on New Caprica, Lee when she came back from the real Caprica, Lee who came to visit her when she was in hack, the Lee that had been ruined with five simple words as well: "Kara and Sam got married!") and for once, she had thought that someone cared, someone gave a damn about her, someone wanted her to be happy.
Apparently, Lee (she couldn't call him her Lee anymore since she ruined her chance with im for real) was not the man to expect this from.
She was weak.
She was strong. You didn't make rank in the Colonial Fleet for being weak.
How had he reduced her to this?
"Kara," he sighed. "You have to see why we can't do this."
"I don't know. My vision's been kinda blurry lately. So I guess that's why I can't see all of these reasons that you can see."
"Shut up, Kara."
"Make me, Lee."
He leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. It shouldn't have been this hard to deny her; he shouldn't be wanting to be pinning her against the wall, melding his body against hers, kissing every inch of her body, and—
They had been down this road before. He had done all of those things to her, and she still left the next morning. He shouldn't want to go through all of that heartache again.
He loved his wife. He loved Dee. He really did.
He barely noticed as she sat on the edge of the bed, closing her eyes and leaning her head in her hands.
He sat down behind her and sighed, and she thought that she had lost.
But then she felt his cool lips on her neck, and she knew that she had won.
She didn't move as he dragged his lips (his tongue) along her neck, her shoulders, pushing down the sleeve of her shirt. He kissed the back of the left side of her neck, his tongue outlining the patterns he seemed to have found there.
His hands were resting on her hips again as his lips made their way from her neck, down her arms. He picked up her hand, kissed each of the fingers on it.
The rhythmic feel of his movements was exactly as she had known it would be; slow and measured, with each movement carefully calculated.
That wasn't how she did things.
She abruptly turned around and pushed him down underneath her. He raised his eyebrows at her in an almost condescending way.
"Impatient?" He grinned at her. She glared at him again, finishing the unbuttoning of his shirt, and quickly pulling off her own. She leaned down and kissed him again, hot and heavy, and she could feel him responding against her.
"Kara, we need to stop." She could tell how conflicted Lee was; but he wanted this, and she needed this, and it was going to happen whether or not he liked it (though she was sure that he would.)
"Honey," Kara said, cracking a smile at the now nervous Lee (she hadn't seen him vulnerable in so long) as she straddled his waist, "I'll be in your suicide note before I'm done with you."
"This night will hurt you," Lee warned. But she was well beyond reason now.
"Oh, and you'll walk away from it just fine?" She whispered in his ear, biting his earlobe. He hissed beneath her. She grinned again.
He grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her face down to his hungrily. This kiss wasn't romantic like the ones they had shared in the past; this was pure, unadulterated passion that neither of them seemed to have the ability (or the will) to control.
So he released himself and let it take over.
Their lips crashed together, their tongues fighting for dominance, their hands pulling off articles of clothing one by one. It was angry, because they were angry.
(He loved her more than anything, and he had been ready to give it all up for a chance at being with her; but she left him on New Caprica.)
(She couldn't control her will to run away from anything long-lasting, anything real. She loved him because he loved her, and she hated him because he loved her.)
He flipped them over (she hadn't known that was possible in her small rack), and pinned her hands above her head.
It was a fight for control, as it had always been between the two of them.
That didn't make it any less real, any less meaningful.
They weren't gonna take this slow, Kara could tell; Lee was already without clothes and he was currently ripping her underwear off of her. He squeezed her left breast hard while he took her right nipple in his mouth, and she felt herself arch against him unconsciously.
Sex with Sam was amazing, was absolutely spectacular; but Lee seemed to be able to make her come by just looking at her the way he was now.
He didn't wait before sliding into her, and her fingers clawed at his back in a way that she knew would leave markings (she hoped Dee wouldn't notice, because Dualla would know exactly who gave them to Lee.) They fell easily into a fast rhythm that both of them knew wouldn't last long, and both Lee and Kara marveled at how they could feel so much by barely doing anything.
He was quiet, with his eyes closed, but she couldn't help it.
"Lee," she gasped, grabbing the back on his neck with one hand while she clawed at his back with the other, pushing her head into the pillow harder. "Oh gods, Lee." She didn't know when he opened his eyes, but he was staring at her, his blue eyes boring into her brown ones. She took a chance. She didn't do it often, but the truth escaped from her lips.
"I love you."
His eyes widened, but she involuntarily closed her eyes as her climax hit her hard, throwing her over the edge and into a sea of darkness. She was sure that she had screamed something that was supposed to be 'Lee' as she came, and she knew Lee lost control at that as he pushed his head into her neck, biting her hard.
She shuddered beneath him, breathing heavily as he removed himself from her and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. She lay still for a minute, regaining control of herself, before sitting up next to him, shoulders touching.
"You love me?" Lee whispered.
She laughed humorlessly. "Don't get me wrong Lee. I hate you too. I love Sam, but I hate Sam. I love you, but I hate you."
"Now I'm all for you hating your dear Pyramid boy, but any reason in particular why you hate me?" She sighed.
"You love me."
"Nice accusation, but you avoided answering the question."
"I did answer the question. I hate you because you love me. I don't let people get close for a good reason." He didn't know how to answer that, and after about a minute of silence, she spoke up again. "I won't get divorced, Lee. I made a promise in front of the Gods, and I can't refute that."
"So getting divorced is a sin, but sleeping with me while you're still married isn't? Because if you feel that way, then I beg to differ."
"Is this going to happen again?" Lee didn't look at Kara after she said that, afraid of what she would say or how she would look. He wasn't sure if he was more afraid that she might be joking, or that she might be serious.
"Well, I guess that depends on whether or not you marry another guy tomorrow morning."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Kara's sarcastic laugh filled the room. "Funny. I was wondering when that was going to come up."
"If I recall, I've definitely mentioned it before."
"No so straightforwardly." Neither one of them spoke. Kara opened her mouth a couple of times, but closed it before she could get a word out. Lee decided to break the silence.
"Is this going to happen again?" Kara looked him straight in the eyes as he said it. She seemed to almost have guessed that it was coming.
"I've frakked up any chance of being with you. I know that. Doesn't mean this can't happen again. Doesn't mean this shouldn't happen again."
Both were silent for a long time as Lee redressed himself and got ready to go back to his cabin. To his wife. He unconsciously fingered his wedding band. Kara pretended not to notice this as he left. She laid her head down on her pillow, wishing more than anything that she had a smoke on her.
She wondered how many times she could frak Lee over before he finally came to his sense and left her. She unconsciously gravitated towards him, and he didn't seem to have the ability to push her away for too long. And she knew why.
Although he may control her actions, her body, she owns his soul. And, she may feel herself melt under his touch, but in reality, it is she who is in control, she who holds the power in their sick, screwed up relationship.
And one day, she'll wake up, kicking and screaming, realizing just how alike they might just be.
If she ever wakes up at all.
i really hope that ended up being in character. I'm a comment whore (lol) so please let a review!