Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Oh, and let me explain a little more about this story. It has some references to Phantom of the Opera- if you like Raoul, then try not to get offended.

And try not to get offended if you like Jacob, too.

Second, this was written entirely for fun, so don't critique it's unrealistic-ness.

And last, this is most certainly not a spoiler for Breaking Dawn. This was all written before I read that.

So Bella and Edward got married in a lavish ceremony planned by Alice.

All the Cullens were there, and so were Charlie, Renee, and that baseball guy who Renee's with.

Angela couldn't make it, but she sent a present anyway.

Right after they said "I do", Edward told Bella about how he had actually sent Jacob an invitation against her wishes.

That kind of made Bella a little miffed, so she decided to drop her "demand" and simply get changed into a vampire tonight.

That made Edward a little miffed, so he adamantly refused. Bella proceeded to ignore him the rest of the night.

The next day, Edward apologized for acting so rude, and he promised to change her today.

However! Bella decided that she wanted to say goodbye to Jacob even though she was a little miffed at him for not coming to the wedding

...even though she didn't want to invite him in the first place.

Anyway, Edward sat down in a chair, sighed, and agreed to let her go say goodbye. By herself.

Bella drove off and arrived at Billy's house a minute later.

The problem was that Jacob wasn't home! Billy told her to head down on the beach. Bella did, and there was Jacob.

He was talking to a middle aged woman who Bella had never seen before.

"Hello?" Bella called, stepping forward. Jacob waved a hand dismissively.

Bella started getting mad at him, but she knew better than to hit him.

"Jake, I came to say goodbye!"

"What? Oh, right, the vampire thing. I don't really care, Bella. I mean, I'm imprinted now! In fact, I'm off to live in Antarctica with Sally!" he explained.

Bella suddenly noticed the giant boat.

Then, she decided that Jacob was a jerk and that Edward was awesome.

She told him she didn't like him anymore, and she went back home to Edward.

The two reunited with a kiss and did all the vampire-changing stuff...yadayada.


Sally and Jacob were having a nice life for all of five minutes.

That's when Raoul showed up.

He told Jacob that he was down in Antarctica because his love, Christine, decided she actually loved the Phantom of the Opera.

Jacob told him that it was all because of the names.

"Listen, Raoul. Your name's stupid. Now, Opera Ghost? Come on, that's awesome."

Anyway, Raoul moved on to the part he had to say. Apparently, he was running away from wild Antarctic Indians!

To prove his point, the rabid natives came up two seconds later.

Raoul screamed and ran.

He wasn't used to running, though, since he was so spoiled, and he tripped down the side of the mountain and got eaten in one bite by a giant vampire killer whale.

Jacob laughed, but then Sally said she hated him and left on her boat.

Then Jacob started crying and was chased by the Indians right off the side of a steep cliff. Unfortunately, the fall didn't kill him since he was a werewolf.

So four giant mutant leopard seals grabbed each limb and pulled. Then they feasted on the part of him that they got.

And so Edward and Bella lived happily ever after.

P.S. Sally moved back to Forks and hooked up with Charlie.

The End

Again, that was for fun. Please don't flame me, although I'd love a review if you somehow managed to read the whole thing.

Oh, and I wrote that when I had only seen the movie of The Phantom of the Opera, so I didn't know at the time that his name was actually Erik. Now I've read the book (huzzah!).

And, of course, no offense to anyone who is named Raoul. Seriously, Raoul's a perfectly fabulous name. I love it!

However, my own personal opinion is that "Phantom" is little bit cooler as a name.

I even like "Erik" a little better. Again, no offense.

Ah, and let me say that if someone is offended by the Jacob-being-eaten-by-seals element of my story, know that I've decided Jake's not that bad now that I've read Breaking Dawn.

Now I'm rambling...

Thanks for reading!