Most people don't realize when a day ends and another starts. They're usually asleep, or working, too busy to be disturbed.
What they don't know is that one day has never repeated itself, nor will it ever repeat itself. But not just that. It's a chance to start life again, to refresh their goals, and replace their exhausted, worn-out determination with new, battle-
My life was a dead life. I might as well lived in a black hell. Why I had not suicided myself, I am still wondering today. I just know that I had to force myself to keep going every day, to draw water from the rushing stream, and forage under those hot, burning hours during the summer for food. Thinking back now, I think those incredibly bitter days in Winter were actually harder. It just wasn't possible for the air to become so cold.
I wanted my parents and siblings back. What else can I say? Do you, do you think you know, what it feels like to be torn and wrenched away from the rest of your family? Use a fist and punch yourself over and over again as hard as you can right underneath your breast. It's worse than that. Imagine your worst headache tripled and doubled again. Then tripled and doubled yet again. With your throat constricting. Hold your breath for 3 entire minutes. You've got an excellent physical picture. Don't forget it just yet.
As usual, the sun was setting, and I knew I should be going back to the village soon. I'd caught a meager meal, but that was quite average for me sometimes. Especially the last few days. Those starving nights had finally brought me to start foraging deeper into the dark woods. I shouldn't have gone this far. Maybe a different direction next time. Walking speedily, I was trying to hurry and eat my dinner back at the village. I was incredibly famished, but eating in the woods weren't safe. There were a lot of demons waiting to just prey on an unsuspecting girl.
I was nearly back home. Just about half a mile left. Suddenly, I caught sight of someone sleeping against a tall, oak tree.
No, no, they weren't sleeping. Too still for that. On closer examination, I noticed something on the person's elegant kimono.
Blood!! Immediate flashes of my family's death passed through my mind's eye, and I pushed them far away. I shouldn't go back to the past right now. The one other thing I'd also noticed was that the person was a nobleman, very handsome and, as his kimono also showed, elegant.
Hesitantly, I approached. I knew that I would most likely regret it if I left this nobleman here, injured and unconscious.
Besides, he didn't look like an everyday peasant - he looked like he belonged to the most royal of royals. I really couldn't just leave him here. But how could I help him? I looked down at my meager food again, sitting there in my cradled arms.
Maybe... I could leave some food for him here, and then go to the village for help? That seemed like the only plan I could come up with.
Slowly, accidentally rustling some bushes, I took cautious steps forward. And that was when it happened. The nobleman's head and chest spun around, turning to face me, his mouth bared, so I could see vicious fangs, and his eyes glowed a bloodthirsty red. His thick white hair sprung up a bit threateningly, and a low, dangerous growl escaped his mouth. Demon!! My breath caught in my chest, and I froze, every limb unable to move like I was in an icecube. My heart jumped with such fright, it felt like it'd been burned momentarily. I couldn't feel it.
After an eternity, the nobleman's mouth closed, his eyes lost their bloody color, and he seemed just a bit more relaxed. Was this a sign that I should put my food down for him now? Maybe he'd smelled the food, and he was hungry! Well, I should carry out with my plan. I walked just a few paces nearer, and the space between us diminished. I laid my food down on a leaf,
and walked away, glancing back once more. The nobleman disappeared behind the bushes. I really didn't know if I would ever see him again.
The next day also passed like this. Luckily, I found the nobleman again, and the food pile seemed a bit smaller. I laid down another meager meal for him, and walked back. Then, I heard his voice.
"I don't need your help, human."
His tone was cold, icy, and uncaring. It could've come from a machine, except that it had a bit of tone. I forced myself to try to ignore it. He needed help, and he wasn't going to stop me. But his words slightly shocked me for the first few seconds. I thought he'd cared. But... no. I was still going to bring him food. My stomach nearly sent up an earthquake from how much it needed food. As usual I ignored it and went back to my hut for the night.
I knew I would need more food for the nobleman. I could barely get full with that food, so how would he be able to? An idea occurred to me. I could fish in the river! I tried it at once, and gave fish to the nobleman for the next few night, pretending not to notice that the fish from the day before was still there every time.
The next time I fished, light suddenly filled the surface of the lake. What had happened? Without warning, a rough hand grabbed me, and an angry voice growled, "I knew you were the one stealing fish from our river, Rin!"
With that, large, muscled hands began slapping me, hitting my cheek from side to side. It hurt badly. But I'd known worse emotional pain, and held a torrent of tears back. As I limped off, my eye swollen shut from the beating, I heard one of them say, "She's always been a weird one, that kid. Doesn't even cry when she's beaten."
I winced internally. Truly, no one, no one in this world, loved me for who I was anymore. I was devastatingly, utterly,
unpredictably alone. My very bones trembled with pain. Pain, pain, pain, was this all I'd been born into this world for?
Maybe. I walked to my hut with my head down again.
The next morning, I visited the nobleman again. After a half-minute of silence, his monotone voice broke the silence.
"Where did you get those bruises?"
I froze, and every muscle in my body half-voluntarily, and half-involuntarily tensed up as much as possible. Someone cared!
Someone was going to free me from his blood and pain-filled world, and bring me to a relaxed heaven! Someone cared! My face broke out into one of the most beautiful smiles the world has ever seen, and I let lose a happy, carefree laugh, untroubled this one day in my short life. I didn't hear anything else the nobleman said, and rushed back to my hut, hopping with excitement from one leg to the other down the slope.
I bounced into the door, my stride light and uncaring. That was when I noticed something. There was a stranger in my hut! A stranger!! My exploding excitement burst into a freezing fear, with the feel of adrenaline being pumped through my veins over and over again. The stranger turned around, sensing me, and he was a demon! A demon with his face scarred badly! I put my hand over my open mouth. I still could barely move. He muttered something, but in my confused and frightened state, I didn't hear him.
What happened next is kind of hard to explain. It happened so fast. But in the next ten seconds, a demon that looked like he was part of a wolf tribe appeared, and grabbed the other demon's head. The other demon handed over a sparkly, pink shard,
spluttering with fright, and... and the wolf demon... he killed him. He killed the other demon, slicing off his head carelessly. I was in even more shock. Too much had happened today! The next second, all I know is, that I was running, faster than I've ever ran in my life, away from the village, with three swift wolves less than a meter behind me. Impossibly, I tripped on a root, and fell. I knew I was gone. Unable to help myself, I twisted around to look, and that was when the wolves leapt. Mommy. Daddy. Help. Darkness.
Oh, was this what death felt like? This warm, soft, happy feeling? I loved it. I loved "heaven". But would it be taken from me again? Please no. Finally unable to bear it anymore, I opened my eyes - straight into golden ones, molten gold ones. It was the nobleman's! And... and he was... carrying me... Looking into the eyes again, I could see love there. The nobleman was trying to hide it, but it still flowed through, undisguised. I knew then, that I was saved.
My beginning. That's what it was. My true one. It was wonderful, sheer, absolute happiness that is unexplainable. More than unexplainable. I know people tend to exaggerate when they say these words, but not me. I know what happiness is when I feel it, and I'm grateful for it.
My beginning. My single hope, happiness, and love. My role model. My own beginning to a new world, and actual beginning, not part of the bloodlust and excruciating pain before. It truly was my own beginning. I cherished and treasured it. I loved it with all of my heart... even the parts that were left behind with my family.
My beginning. My own, true beginning.
(Author's note: This was for the beginning of the school year (I know, these things have absolutely nothing in common, but I needed to write another fanfic.) My school year actually began on August 26, 2008, so this fanfic is posted just a bit late. I hope that you've enjoyed it. I know there are countless stories on Rin's beginning, but I hope his small addition has added to your realization that Rin really was saved by Sesshomaru, and had her true beginning with him.)