title: assumptions
summary: in which Sasuke's a bit more perverted than most think he is and gets pwned.
warning: innuendos and crack. lawl.
disclaimer: I own nothing but my really hot Converse with neon green laces. they're pwnage.

inspired by a true story. can you imagine how that turned out? LOL.
btw, this title took effing forever (because I suck at them) so I settled for something simple and stupid and generic. rawr.


"Hey, Sasuke, guess what I did yesterday!"

"What?"

"Well, that's the whole point. You have to guess."

"I don't know."

"Well, I did something really unlike me, if that helps at all."

". . . !"

"Okay, basically what happened was I told the guy I wasn't ready at first because I was so nervous, but Ino just told me to get it over with and do it. She said it'd be less painful."

". . . !"

"She told me it'd hurt a lot, but that guy's hands are like magic. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would."

". . . !"

"But now, it's pretty sore. Ino said it would be for a while."

". . . !"

"Wait, why am I telling you this?"

". . . !"

"I really don't know where I was going with that."

". . . !"

"Okay, I feel awkward now."

". . . !"

"Just pretend you didn't hear anything."

". . . !"

"Wow, what was I thinking?"

". . . !"

"Yeah, okay. Ignore me."

". . . !"

"Oh, look, break's over. We should go back. I think Naruto's getting overwhelmed by that old lady."

". . ."

"Hey, Sasuke, are you okay? Your cheeks look a bit flushed. Do you have a fever?"

"No!"

"What?"

"Don't tell me . . ."

"Don't tell you what?"

". . ."

"Sasuke, I'm really confused."

"Who did you do it with!"

"Who did I do what with?"

". . ."

"Seriously, Sasuke, as much as I love you being all cryptic and stuff, it's getting a little old."

". . ."

"Sasuke, I'm going to leave. Naruto looks like he's dying. I'm getting kind of worried."

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"Didyouloseyourvirginity?"

"Lose my what?"

"Your virginity!"

". . ."

". . ."

"HAHAHA! WHAT? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?"

". . ."

"HAHAHA! OHMYGOD. WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON, SASUKE?"

"You said you did something that was really unlike you, and then you started talking about this guy and his hands and how it hurt and . . ."

"Oh . . ."

". . ."

"I see . . ."

". . ."

"HAHAHA!"

"Stop laughing!"

"Sasuke, I didn't lose my virginity."

". . ."

"I got my belly button pierced."

". . ."

"Would you like to see it?"

". . ."

"Sasuke, were you jealous?"

". . ."

"Aww, you're a sweetie."

". . ."

"Don't worry, Sasuke. I'm still all yours."

". . ."

"Well, I'm off to help Naruto. I can't wait to tell him about this little incident."

". . . !"


Because flustered!Sasuke is flipping HAlarious.

And I'm gonna be gone for the next few days before school starts, so I decided to leave you with some humor. I know you'll all miss me . . . --cricketcricket--

School's starting soon, and I'm gonna be attacked with college apps and essays and SATs and etcetera, so I might not be on so much nowadays. Until second semester, of course. 'Cause then I'm home freeeeeeee.

Ahem.

But I do have a couple more fics waiting for you, so hopefully they'll be posted up soon!

Have a good last few days of summer! (Unless you're already in school, then I must say PWNT. I'm just keeding.)

Review, silver plate (aka s'il vous plait)!