Hey folks, S.O.Lmaster here with a new fic. I thought since my last SpongeBob fic, Future Shock, was a complete success, I've been wanting to do another SpongeBob fic, and I finally came up with one I call, 'Night of the Weresnail'. This is a funny, crazy, and slightly romantic fic and you can find a summery of the plot on my profile. Well, that's it for the Author's Note. Please enjoy the first chapter.
Night of the Weresnail
Chapter 1: Comic Book Craziness
In the Pacific Ocean, underwater was the city of Bikini Bottom. In the Krusty Krab, the sponge we all know and love was frying krabby patties on the grill.
"La, la, la, Krabby song! La, la, la, Patty song! La, la, la, la, la Krabby Patty Song!" SpongeBob sang as he cooked.
Squidward was annoyed by SpongeBob as usual, but he became even more annoyed when Patrick came bursting through the front door.
"SpongeBob! SpongeBob!" Patrick called out.
SpongeBob peeked through the window seeing his best friend. "Patrick, what is it?"
"I got the new issue of 'Betty: The Weresnail Eliminator'!" Patrick shouted as he held up a box.
SpongeBob screamed in excitement, "Betty: The Weresnail Eliminator?!"
SpongeBob ran out of the kitchen with his hat flying onto the grill, and he looked at Patrick's comic book.
"Ooh!" He said as he skims through the pages of the book. "It even has the part where Marty turns into his weresnail form during the full moon and bites his neighbor, changing him into a weresnail like himself."
"And look!" Patrick said as he pointed to something on the back of the comic. "There's a number where you can order a Weresnail Elimination Kit!"
"You're right, Patrick," SpongeBob said amazed. "If only we can get that."
Right after SpongeBob's words, he rushed to the phone on the front counter and quickly dialed the number. Squidward frowned as he watched Patrick make an order.
"Yeah, I'd like to order the Weresnail Elimination Kit." Patrick spoke on the phone. "Yeah, that's uh…the Krusty Krab on…the spot where the Krusty Krab is." The person spoke on the other end, and Patrick said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and went back to SpongeBob. "The Weresnail Elimination Kit is on its way."
"All right, Patrick!" SpongeBob cheered. "With that coming, we'll be totally prepared if a weresnail ever comes."
Squidward, hearing the conversation just said, "Oh please, that stuff is just a waste of money. Everyone knows there are no such things as weresnails."
"Oh yeah," Patrick replied back. "What do you call Gary, then?"
SpongeBob just laughed, "Oh Patrick, Gary's not a monster. Snail's like Gary are sweet and kind creatures, while weresnails are vicious and hungry monsters that turn even more vicious during the full moon."
Then Patrick realized something and he gasped. "Then that means Squidward's a weresnail!" He exclaimed as he pointed at Squidward.
"What?!" Squidward shouted in shock. "I am NOT a weresnail!"
"Oh yeah," Patrick said in disbelief. "Then why don't you prove it?"
"How am I supposed to prove I am not a weresnail?" Squidward asked in annoyance.
Patrick started to look around until he spotted a shaker of salt on the table. He picked it up and shook some salt in his hand, but then he licked the salt he had sprinkled in his hand, and he threw the shaker aside and it hit Squidward in the face.
"AAHH!!" Squidward yelled in pain as he held his eyes where the salt landed. "My eyes! There's salt in my eyes!"
SpongeBob stared in wonder. "Hmm…maybe you're right, Patrick." He said to his friend who didn't really seem to be paying attention, as he looked at his hand that seemed to be out of salt he had licked off. "Maybe Squidward is a weresnail."
"I am not a weresnail, you buffoons!" Squidward angrily yelled. "I'm screaming because you idiots just sprayed salt in my eyes!"
"What's going on out here?!" Mr. Krabs shouted as he bursts out of his office.
"Squidward's a weresnail." Patrick answered.
"A what?" Mr. Krabs asked confused.
Then Squidward, who had recovered, answered, "It's just these two morons reading their idiotic comic books again."
"SpongeBob!" Mr. Krabs scolded. "You know you're wasting me money if you keep doing all that reading instead of working."
"Sorry Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob apologized.
"And we need to plan a theme for the Dance Party we're having in a week."
SpongeBob suddenly remembered. "That's right! We gotta start thinking what the party should be about."
"I wouldn't be surprised if no one even bothered to show up." Squidward said as he went back to reading his magazine. But then he sniffed the air when he smelled something. "Hey, what's that smell?"
SpongeBob smelt it also. "It kinda smells like…"
Squidward turned around and saw smoke coming from out of the kitchen. Then SpongeBob felt the top of his head and noticed his hat was missing, until he remembered his hat dropped when he ran out.
"My hat!" SpongeBob yelled as he frantically ran into the kitchen.
Later that day when it was closing time, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward left the Krusty Krab.
"Oh boy," SpongeBob said excitedly. "I can't wait for the Dance Party next week. Do you think I'll need a date?"
Squidward just scoffed. "How could anybody like you possibly get a date?"
"I had a date once." Patrick mentioned. "Except I got hungry and ate it."
Squidward got a surprised look until SpongeBob said, "Not 'a date', a date like someone to go with to the dance."
"Oh…" Patrick said understanding. "I never had one of those."
"Like I said before." Squidward said. "How could you get a date?"
"Well…" SpongeBob said as his cheeks was turning red. "There is someone who I'm considering asking."
Before SpongeBob could finish, they heard something in the bushes near a large house.
"What was that?" SpongeBob asked feeling scared as he held onto Squidward.
Patrick pulled out his comic book and pointed to it. "It's the weresnail."
Squidward pushed SpongeBob off of him and said, "Oh, grow up will you? There is no such thing as a weresnail."
They heard a growling sound again, and then SpongeBob and Patrick scream in fear as they grab onto Squidward and run away hopping over the fence through the large house and run through the bushes, hopping the next fence that led to SpongeBob's house, and they quickly closed the door.
"You think we lost the weresnail?" Patrick asked in a scared tone.
"It wasn't a weresnail!" Squidward snapped. "It was probably-"
But Squidward was interrupted when they heard a knock at the door. Squidward was about to answer it until SpongeBob shouted, "Squidward, don't!"
However, Squidward already opened it and there stood an old fish with short white hair, a white shirt, green vest, brown pants, a small glass necklace with green sand, and a cane.
"See?" Squidward smirked.
"Who are you?" SpongeBob asked as he peeked from behind Squidward.
"My name is Ester Cargo," The fish answered. "I just moved here and I live down the street from you."
"Well, howdy neighbor!" SpongeBob happily greeted. "My name is SpongeBob."
Squidward just pounded SpongeBob's head down. "Zip it!"
Ester looked behind him to see it was getting close to night time, and then he turned back to them. "I didn't come here to chat. I came here because you three just ran over my plants."
"That's right," Squidward said as he pointed at SpongeBob and Patrick. "These two barnacle heads just ran away screaming because of your snail."
"I don't have a snail." Ester mentioned.
"Then how come there's slime on your front porch?" Patrick asked suspiciously.
Ester looked shock. "What?! Who told you that?!"
"Who told me what?" Patrick asked.
When night was approaching, Ester started to groan and hold his head. "I must be going." He began to walk away as he said, "And SpongeBob, your snail is chewing on your socks."
SpongeBob quickly turned around and saw his snail, Gary, chewing on a pair of his sock.
"Gary!" SpongeBob said as he ran over to Gary. "How many times have I told you not to chew on my socks?" He took it out of Gary's mouth and thought of something. "Hmm…I wonder how he knew Gary was chewing on socks."
Squidward turned to SpongeBob and Patrick, and said, "See? I told you idiots there was no weresnail. Now, I'm going home."
Squidward walked away, and SpongeBob turned to Patrick. "You know, Patrick. There's something weird about Ester Cargo."
"You're right, SpongeBob." Patrick replied. "We should show him our weresnail comics and see if he likes it."
SpongeBob giggled. "Yeah, and maybe we can even show him around Bikini Bottom while we're at it."
"Well, good night, SpongeBob." Patrick said as he walked off reading his comic book.
"Good night, Patrick!" SpongeBob waved.
When SpongeBob closed his front door and was about to walk into his room, Gary went over to him and asked, "Meow?"
"Gary," SpongeBob said in disbelief. "You shouldn't say that about Ester. He's just new here and wants to fit in."
Could Gary be right? And what theme will SpongeBob come up with for the dance party? The next chapter with all the answers will be posted soon. Until then please review.