Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING!
Well. I suppose I've been away for quite some time now. ZOMG I'M SO SORRY. Exams, you know. I can't even write a decent story these days without having the word 'GEOGRAPHY!' ring in my head. But anyways. I'm supposed to talk about the story. Basically, this is your average angsty slash. I've been meaning to write about something other than happy fuzzballs in love, so I came up with this… thing. Yeah.
The Games We Play
"Oh man, that's the stuff!" A loud crack was then heard as Alex Shelley sat reclined on the locker room bench, hands above his head. He stayed in that position, sighing happily.
It was a few moments before Johnny Devine, who was standing nearby, slapped his shoulder and gestured to the front of Alex's shirt, which was now riding up his stomach. "Ugh, cover that up, dude! We don't need to see that shit!"
"I can do whatever the hell I want," Alex muttered, arms still raised. His eyes were closed, and it was clear that he wasn't having any of it.
"Johnny, we work in a business consisting of topless, sweaty men who maul each other. Get used to it," Sonjay interrupted, earning a chuckle from Johnny. "Plus, he's probably getting ready to show off his muscles to his girlfriend!"
This caused half the locker room to laugh, while some of them merely smirked and shook their heads. Chris Sabin, idly going through his locker, cleared his throat and echoed, "Girlfriend?"
Sonjay, grinning, turned to Chris. "Yeah, man, haven't you heard? Our boy Alex here is totally screwin' one of the Knockouts. I've seen him in their locker room, pimping it up like no tomorrow. He's screwing one of them, and that's it. We just haven't figured out who yet."
"We will, though." Johnny shot Alex a cocky smirk.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Alex stopped them all, holding a hand up. Both Johnny and Sonjay stopped what they were saying, and the rest of the locker room did, too. Nonchalantly, Alex continued, "I can screw whichever Knockout I want, and you guys'll never find out in a million years. I'm that good."
Just as the locker room exploded in insults and laughter, Chris slowly turned his head to look at Alex. Their eyes met.
"We need to talk."
Alex swallowed. It was close to midnight, and the rest of the roster had called it a day and went back to their hotel. They were the only people left in the building. Alex wasn't sure whether or not it was a good thing. He allowed a few moments to pass before he finally turned around, meeting Chris' gaze. The older man did not look pleased. Involuntarily, Alex stepped back. "About what?"
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Alex stayed silent, waiting for Chris' reply. Another few minutes passed, but it felt like forever. Alex's heart was beating at a thousand miles per minute, and he was subconsciously fidgeting with his fingers. He felt nervous, partly because of the time Chris was taking and partly because of the feeling of dread, deep inside the pit of his stomach.
"You still haven't told them."
The words hurt.
It hurt because of the tone of betrayal that Chris held in his voice, and the fact that he knew he had disappointed him.
It was ages ago when Chris had requested that they come clean to their co-workers. It made sense. They had been together for nearly three years, and it wasn't surprising that Chris wanted to let it be known to the rest of the world, or at least the people whom they knew would understand.
"Chris, please…" Alex whispered. It took everything in him to avert his eyes as he said, "I'm not ready."
With a sigh, Chris slowly walked over towards Alex. He brought his hands up, protectively cradling his partner's neck. "Alex?"
Please don't leave me.
His thumbs circled the taut skin of Alex's jawline. As much as he wanted to accept Alex's excuse, he couldn't. "You said that a year ago."
He swallowed. He wasn't expecting Chris to say that at all. He expected reassurance. After all, that was what Chris had been giving him all this time. Was it… was it possible that Chris had simply grown tired of all Alex's procrastinating? Alex wasn't stupid. He knew just how much it frustrated Chris to keep their friends in the dark like that, but something inside him just wasn't ready for openness, not just yet. In this world, there were two things that would made Alex's blood run ice cold. One of them was the thought of his friends shunning him after refusing to accept his and Chris' relationship. The other was the heartbreak in Chris' eyes every time Alex delayed letting them know it.
So what was he supposed to do?
"Look, I love you, Alex, but…" The taller man sighed, running a hand through his hair.
Please don't leave me.
Was he chanting it in his head? Alex didn't know. Within that moment, his world revolved entirely around the frantic beat of his own heart, those pale blue eyes, the words he spoke…
"…I don't think I can do this anymore."
Please don't leave me.
"Chris…" He tried to make it sound firm, but who was he kidding? If anything, it sounded like a pathetic whimper. A shake of his head and a gulp of air later, he whispered out, "Let's be sensible. You, you don't know what you're saying."
Those eyes were looking into his whole being again, but the look of disappointment was no longer there. Instead, there was some kind of sad downcast to them. Was it sorrow? But why would Chris feel sad when he was the one breaking his heart in the first place? Alex tried to read into his eyes further, but for some reason his previously vivid eyesight had turned blurry and indistinct in a matter of seconds. That was strange. Why would it be blurry?
Chris seemed to notice this too, and his gaze softened. "Alex… Please don't make this harder for us."
He barely registered the words. This was wrong, this was all wrong. Things weren't supposed to be like this.
"Ch-Chris, please…" Was he even comprehensible anymore? "…please don't."
"I'm sorry." Chris shook his head, sighing bitterly. "Really, I am."
Chris turned around, walking to the door. Just before he left, he took one last glance at Alex. Eyes wide and body unmoving, he looked so broken that Chris wanted more than anything to sweep him into his arms and comfort him, make the pain go away. But even he knew that he couldn't. "Goodbye."
Gone. Just like that.
As if his body was moving automatically, Alex stepped back to lean against the wall and slid down onto the floor.
He didn't bother wondering why his vision was blurry this time.