Summary: In which C.C. helps the Ally of Justice prepare his speech.
Crack Summary: You don't get as FABULOUS as Zero without practice and a little bit of (wrong) guidance.
Warning: Crack, crack, and more crack. Oh, and some OOCness.
"What are you doing?" C.C. asked lazily, having just finished her last box of pizza and discovering that life was boring with cheese and tomato.
"Just writing up a draft of my speech to introduce my resistance group…" Lelouch replied in a mumble, busy scribbling across his piece of paper and crossing things out. "I'm not sure what to call them, though. I'm thinking about The Freedom Fighters."
"Too trite," was the immediate response. "Besides, you might as well be declaring yourselves to be terrorists. Everyone knows the two phrases are synonymous. It'd be like admitting the whole organization is just your big Machiavellian ploy and naming it the Order of the Black Knights or something."
"That's perfect!" The boy declared suddenly, throwing one arm up in the air in his eureka moment, and got busy changing his draft to fit the new name. "It sounds honorable and just, yet not too trite and idealistic… And black; black, the absence of all color… The absence of all bias."
The witch stared at him in stunned silence. So for pizza, this modern world gave away sarcasm? Couldn't humans have given away a lesser figure of speech? But she had faith yet in humanity and the boy's perception of irony. "Oh yeah; I'm sure people would interpret it that way. If you like the color so much, why don't you have all your 'knights' wear black, and wear black visors and carry around huge black rifles? I'm sure it'll look very unbiased."
"Yes, I should do that… Metaphors are driven home much better visually than orally… Oh, maybe I should change my Zero outfit, then… The purple doesn't seem to fit the whole Black Knights idea… I made the costume in a bit of a rush, anyways, so I should probably go back and polish it up…"
"No, don't change the color scheme. Purple is a very…noble and heroic color. Especially when it's violet, and coupled with yellow."
"Do you really think so?" Lelouch asked, procuring his outfit from his drawers and holding it over himself in front of the mirror. "Yes, I guess you're right. It does look heroic. And the leader does need to stand out, after all… Dammit, I don't have time to be worrying about this. I still need to prepare my speech for the Black Knights introduction…"
"Oh, I'll help you," C.C. replied immediately and too eager for Lelouch's comfort. Not to mention that was the tone of voice she only took when she wanted pizza. Realizing her mistake, she slouched down on the bed and added casually, "I'm going to have problems if things don't go well for you and you get shot by an angry mob or something…"
"I suppose… Oh, tell me what you think of this routine… We are the allies of justice!" He swished his imaginary cape to the right. "The defender of the weak!" Now to the left. "We are…The Order of the Black Knights!" He cried out, throwing both his arms out.
"You look like a bat," was the sharp and deadpan response.
"A bat? Flying? That's an excellent idea! To fly, to achieve high goals, to make the impossible possible!"
"Yes, exactly. And to further emphasize the point, you should have random spotlights aimed up at the sky while you do that." She said matter-of-factly, drawn into the ridiculousness of the whole conversation. "And you should gesticulate more. You know how the human psyche is; we remember things better when we have visual cues to go with it."
"Ah, true, true…" Having said that, he returned to his desk and putting aside the draft of his speech, he began doodling poses on another sheet, while glancing up at the mirror from time to time.
A few days later, C.C. turned on the television in Lelouch's room, for a lack of anything better to do, and found the news coverage of the unveiling of the Order of the Black Knights. She watched, and stared.
"Marianne… What is wrong with your son?" She then proceeded to order ten boxes of pizza to in the hopes that it would fill up that hole where her faith in human intelligence used to be.