Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, any of the other characters from that show, or those from any other media I may reference in my stories.
This story takes place during Kim and Ron's Senior year. It partially shares the premise that the TV episodes were Ron's version of events. But in this one, Kim and Ron are a couple, unlike my other stories, though how they came to be one may not match canon.
Drew Lipsky, better known to many as Doctor Drakken, strolled out the front door of his Middleton lair, burrowed into a mountain approximately four miles from the city limits. He sipped at a large mug of hot chocolate as he walked. He was wearing quite normal blue pajamas under a black robe. The 'fluffy bunny slippers' were an invention of Ron Stoppable's creative mind, but the curled-toe 'Arabian Nights' slippers he wore instead were hardly less amusing.
He stood outside the door for a minute, surveying the visible surroundings, a frown forming on his face. "All right, it's a seven mile drive up the mountain, maybe the paperboy has a reason to be unhappy, but why take it out on me!" Not spotting the objective of his search immediately, he drifted further away from the entrance, turning to scan the brush above the door, and the various crevices and niches in the rock around them. "If he pitched it in the skunk den, it's staying there, this time!"
Then he spotted it, wrapped in it's double layer of protective plastic, his copy of the Middleton Mirror. It was at ground level, surprisingly, which caused Drakken to approach it as if it was possibly booby-trapped. Then he spotted the blue slip of paper tucked inside. "Aha! The 'I'm your new paperperson' notice, that explains that!" He wondered how long this one would continue to place the paper accessibly. He picked the newspaper up, and returned inside.
He refilled his mug before unwrapping the paper, seated at his own kitchen table. His eye immediately went to today's headline, 'Two fresh opponents to challenge incumbent in Mayoral election!' Then he began to read the article.
And suddenly, a fine mist of coco-moo filled the air...
"SHEGO!" Drakken's shout, accompanied by the kicking in of her bedroom door, might have told Shego something serious was afoot. But after a late night out partying, she wasn't too swift at the moment. Her instinctive response began, one hand coming out from under the covers, green plasma beginning to flicker.
"Mayor of Middleton!?" Drakken snapped.
The plasma disappeared, as both of Shego's eyes shot open. "Oops!"
"I was bored, Doctor D!" Shego snapped, pacing around her bedroom, robe swishing behind her. "You needed the paper record of your silly moving violation to disappear, so you could renew your driver's license without taking the exam! And you told me not to do anything that might alert the authorities! So there I was, waiting for the night watchman to stop hitting the bottle he had stashed in the file room! And...well, the paperwork to register as a candidate was right there, and I, um...had to pass the time!" She shrugged, "I mean, I could have chosen the application for Dog Catcher, or Superintendent of Public Works..." she finished lamely in the face of Drakken's scowl.
"The paperwork for registering as a candidate was at the DMV?" Drakken asked, suspiciously.
"No! They don't keep the record of your traffic violations at the DMV, they keep it at the Hall of Records, Doc! Geeze, lucky I didn't let you go instead...no, I take that back!"
Drakken looked relieved, then frowned. "If I'd known that, I wouldn't have asked you to play nice, Shego! I mean, beating up a city employee is fine, but I don't want you identified attacking someone from the DMV! Or the IRS! Or..."
Drakken made a face. "Please, Shego, be serious! If you were identified in CIA headquarters, they'd immediately assume it was a hoax, perpetrated by another agency, to lead them astray! Things are never what they seem, in that place!"
Shego blinked rapidly, willing her eyes not to cross. "Riiight! Anyway, the night watchman was seventy if he was a day, and I'm not sure how to handle someone that fragile, really!"
Drakken was silent a moment, then brightened. "Well, did you fill in the information correctly? If you didn't, the registration is invalid!"
Shego shrugged, "Sorry, Doctor D, I filled everything in correctly, it's legal!"
"Aha! That's where you're wrong, Shego! I can't hold the office, because I have..."
"A criminal record!" Kim stated, "So he can't run for Mayor, can he?" She looked to her boyfriend, Ron Stoppable, for confirmation, as they strolled down a hallway in Middleton High School, on their way to homeroom. Unfortunately, it was not Ron who responded.
"Actually, Possible, if you were aware of some of the idiosyncrasies of law that exist in some communities, especially the one you are resident in..." Mister Barkin's voice came from behind them, making both jump, "You'd know that in this town, it may in fact be legal! You see, during Middleton's frontier days, they once needed someone to 'clean up' the town. They had two candidates for the posts of Mayor and Town Marshal, two jobs which previously had enjoyed short life expectancies. They were brothers, in fact. Unfortunately, they were wanted in Arizona, Utah, and Nebraska. So, an ordinance was passed, making it necessary for one to be convicted of a crime in the state of Colorado, in order to be ineligible for either post."
Kim stared at him incredulously for a moment, before commenting sarcastically, "And a ridiculous law like that is still on the books?"
"It is indeed, Miss Possible, and I wouldn't be so quick to describe such things as 'ridiculous' so blithely! That ordinance gave the town peace and order for nearly two decades! No one saw any point in removing it from the books afterwards, but none expected that it would ever be relevant again." He paused, looking her in the eye, "So, is this Drew Lipsky a convicted felon, in the sovereign State of Colorado?"
Kim shuffled her feet uncertainly, "Well, um, no, actually! You see, the state...and the town, never bothered to file, because there was always a Federal charge involved in whatever he did, or even an international one! So, they didn't want to waste their time, feeling that they'd never get hold of him to prosecute, anyway!"
Barkin nodded in satisfaction, folding his arms across his chest as he stared down at her, "Well then! According to law, Mister Lipsky can run for office in Middleton!"
Kim fumbled for an answer, then had one, she hoped. "What about residency? I don't think..." But Barkin was shaking his head. "No residency requirement ever established, Possible! Sorry, that won't do!"
"But, but...there are charges that can still be filed! I...what?"
"Convicted, Possible, convicted! And anyway, if those charges were filed now, the candidate could cry foul, couldn't they?"
Kim's eyes were bulging, her face turning red, as her mind raced. Then Ron laid his hand on her shoulder. "KP, chill! I mean, it's not as if he's going to win, is it? Joe Geary's still popular, and even Bennett Rockwaller will get more votes then Drakken, right?"
Kim's face returned to normal, but she shot Ron a sour look, "Thanks for reminding me that Bonnie's father is in the race! I mean, it was bad enough four years ago, now she's older, and wiser! Wait, what did the paper mean by 'fresh' candidates? Bonnie's dad ran before!" Then she shook her head, "Forget it! You're right, he hasn't a chance, and we need to get to home room, Ron!"
"Hey Guys! Did you see what the Mayor did? It's all over the Internet!" Ron Reger came running down the hall, waving a printout of a photograph in his hand.
He slowed up as he spotted Barkin, but still held the picture up for Kim and Ron to look at. Kim's eyes widened, and after a moment, her face paled. She clapped one hand over her mouth, and sprinted for the restroom.
Barkin's face twisted into a disgusted look. "That is so...wrong!"
Ron kept tilting his head, trying to get a better view. "Are those farm animals?"
Reger chortled. "Not real ones, doofus! Those are the fake ones outside 'Old Hillary's Farm' day care center! I mean, it's a joke! Some of his old college buddies came to town, I heard, and they went out on the town, and he did this as a joke! Probably never suspected someone would have a camera around!"
"The fool!" Barkin snapped, "They have eyes everywhere!"
Ron looked at him curiously, "Who, Mister Barkin?"
Barkin looked him in the eyes, "You're too young, Stoppable, keep your innocence a while longer!" Then he turned and strode imperiously away.
Reger put a hand on Ron's shoulder, "Yes, brother! Retain your innocence for as long as possible!" He waved the picture around, "I am so putting this up in the cafeteria, and see how many people lose their appetite! Or their lunches!" He sped off.
Kim returned a few minutes later, still looking a little pale. Ron put his arm around her shoulder. "It's Okay, KP! It wasn't a real animal!"
Kim nodded, "I know, I recognized her! I used to talk to her! I called her Bessie, and she was my friend! She...how could he do that to her!"
Ron blinked in consternation, then spotted something over her shoulder. "Um, KP, you want something to take your mind off it?"
"Please and Thank You!"
"I think Bonnie knows her father just became the frontrunner!" Kim turned to see Bonnie Rockwaller strolling down the hall, with twice her normal entourage, a huge smile on her face. "Oh, Terrific!" The brunette stopped in front of them, and looked Kim in the eye. "Hey, Kim! How do you like the idea of me being First Daughter of Middleton?"
Kim clamped her mouth shut, resisting the urge to snap out the obvious retort to that. She'd sort of given her word never to bring up...then poor Tara saved her the trouble.
"Wouldn't you be Third Daughter? I mean, you have two older sisters, right?" The girl cringed as Bonnie lost her smile, and turned her glare on the blond. But after a moment, she shrugged. "Whatever! I'll still have a daddy in high places, won't I?" She started off again, entourage in tow.
"I'd be sick again, but I hate to repeat myself!" Kim muttered darkly. Then she sighed, "Still better Bennett Rockwaller then Drew Lipsky, right?"
"Hey! Doctor D, have you seen this news story off the Internet?"
"Shego! This is a very delicate adjustment I'm making, please...what? Oh, that's just...EEEEEYYYYAAAAAHHHHH!"
"OOPS! You'd think I'd know better by now, wouldn't you, heh!" Shego grinned sheepishly.
"Yes, one..." Drakken blew the smoke out of his mouth, "..would think you would know better!" He watched ash drift down past his eyes.
"Wasn't that hairpiece supposed to be heat resistant, Doc?"
"Just...just get me another, please! I tell you, Shego, some times I think my life isn't defined by Murphy's Law, it is Murphy's Law!"
Okay, a little attempt at humor.
Please, Read and Review!