For: defray, because without her, I would've cried so much more than I already did today.




She's 8 years old when she first sees him.

He's tall and strong and 22 years old, but even as he dutifully holds her hand and leads her back to her mother, Sakura knows he's lonely.

Even as her mother thanks him over and over again, she knows that this man is special, and he doesn't care for excessive praise or rewards or thanking.

She especially remember when her mother asks his name, and how he replies quietly, so, so quietly with –

"Hatake Kakashi, and there's no need to thank me, it's my job," and then he crinkles his eye with a hidden smile and leaps into the leaves.

Sakura wants to be just like him.


She's 10 years old when she sees him again.

He's sad, so sad, but he still manages a small eye-crinkle when she runs up to him and says to him, voice blooming with excitement, "Hey, Mister!"

Kakashi reaches down, ruffles her pink hair, and talks to her a little, like he's known her his entire life, nodding and eye-crinkling as she chirps on and on and on and on about school – ninja academy – and her friends and how there's that cute Uchiha boy in her class that's sad just like him.

Kakashi smiles as he buys her an ice cream, and holds her little hand, gently leading her back to her mother.


She's 12 years old when she sees him once more.

This time though, he's not the nice, lonely man who took her home. He's her jounin-sensei, her respected teacher, her elder. He's famous, apparently, and he's her sensei.

Kakashi's eyes widen when he sees how much she's changed. She's no longer the lost little girl or the talkative pink-haired child he met only twice before. She's older now, growing up, and flirting with that stone-cold Uchiha boy.

She smiles at him, greeting him with straight, white teeth and clear green eyes.

He watches her as she climbs trees with chakra, throws shuriken, and grows to love and treasure her teammates.

He watches her as she learns to perfect her chakra control down to the wire, and as she goes over to Naruto's to cook dinner for him every once in a while, because a diet of only ramen just isn't healthy.

He watches her as her heart breaks when Sasuke leaves, and when the rest of her crumbles as Naruto comes back empty-handed.

He watches her as Naruto leaves, fragmenting her heart even more, and he watches her try to pick up the pieces, try to put herself back together.

He watches her until she finally fades out of his sight.


She's 14 when she sees his masked face and crinkly eye again.

She's with Naruto, and she's got on a medic skirt and gloves that make her hands look like the small hands he used to lead back home.

She fights with him, splitting the ground in two, delivering punches and blows, working with Naruto to get the bells.

She smiles at him as she grips a tiny bell victoriously, cheering with Naruto as they dream about bringing Sasuke back.


She's 16 when she seems him another time.

Her face is tired, and she's too thin. She works day and night, slaving over the wounded and protecting the hurt.

Kakashi winces as she bends his bones back into place, and let's green chakra flow into his insides.

She's grown up, he notices. She's still petite, but she's grown into a young woman's body. She'll be beautiful.

Kakashi closes his eyes as she heals him, and tries to think of Team 7. Before it was broken, before it had been separated, when he had had a tiniest bit of joy in his lonely life.


She's 18 when she sees him turn another year older.

Genma has organized a surprise party for Kakashi at the pub. Anyone who's anyone will be there, and Sakura is definitely a someone.

And as she drinks her beer and laughs and gossips with Ino, Sakura contemplates what to say to Kakashi, if she even manages to get to talk to him away from the grabby female chuunin that are swarming him.

Later that night as Kakashi makes rounds and thanks his guests for coming, Sakura smiles at him again for the first time in 4 years and thanks him for bringing her home those 10 long years ago.


She's 20 when she sees him wear the Hokage cap for the first time.

Tsunade has resigned, and she left the cap and robes to Kakashi, claiming wisely that Naruto wasn't ready yet.

Kakashi dutifully accepts the honor, not matter how much he'd prefer not to.

He's 34 when he first sees a sleepy-eyes Sakura trudge into his office at the crack of dawn holding 2 gigantic cups of coffee in her hands, realizing how beautiful she's become.


She's 22 when she sees him resign from Hokage.

She watches proudly as she sees Naruto finally put on the white robes and the red and white hat, achieving the dream he had been babbling about nonstop to her for 10 years.

She walks home in silence with Kakashi after the ceremony, trying to figure out the right thing to say when he kisses her.

He kisses her briefly, quickly, rapidly on the corner of her mouth, thanking her for everything before he bids her goodnight.


She's 23 when she sees him off at the gates.

Kakashi and Genma are going on a long-term undercover mission. They're going to Sound, where their headbands will be burned and their identities will be false.

They're going to bring Sasuke home.


She's 24 when she sees that she loves him.

She loves him so much it hurts. She loves him to the point that her heart his torn, her stomach is in scrambles, and her tears have been all used up, leaving her eyes faded, bloodshot, and dry.

She remembers so much, so, so much.

She remember how he led her home, and how he bought her ice cream, and how he helped her train, and how he dictated letters, and kissed her once, and smiled those few times, and laughed even fewer times, and how his eye would crinkle when he tried not to smile, but did so anyway.

She was 24 when she realized she loved him.

He was 38 when he died, staring into the sharingan of his last pupil, thinking her name as his own technique, chidori, crackled through him whole.

It might be horrible, but at least it was therapeutic. Please review.

edit; 01/13/09. Minor errors were fixed. Also, why is the title "remixx"? Quite honestly, because I feel like it. Draw your own conclusions if you wish.