I don't own Ranma1/2 or or X-Men Evolution. I'm not making any money, so please don't sue me-I can't afford a lawyer.

I recently read a volume of Ultimate Spider-Man where Spidy's pissed at the X-Men and yell, "You know why people hate you? It's not because you're mutants. It's because you're a bunch of #$%^#$^$$#$$##%$!" That when I realized what America really needs: anti #$%$^$$$$##%^$ legislation! Gyrich and Trask should forget about mutants and program the Sentinals to hunt down and exterminate all the #S%$^$$$$##%^S out there-especially the ones who thought of the law that says we can't make any money writing fanfiction!

Chapter 22

"IMBECILES!" Cologne roared at Todd, Fred, and Lance. "What were the three of you thinking, trying to steal the carnival proceeds!" None of them said a word; the reason they had tried to do it was to get enough money to set up on their own and get out from under her thumb. She was running them ragged; when they weren't working the Cat Cafe they were practicing fight training, and her methods bordered on the insane. Like making them walk on hot coals with steaks or chicken breasts tied to their bare feet, then feeding the meat to stray dogs that would chase after them. Or trying to grab chestnuts out of a campfire; only Pietro, Mousse, or Konatsu really managed to do that one right. Or even attempt to shatter boulders by poking them with the little finger.

"Since those X-Men didn't turn you along with that Smith girl and her father to the police, I'll decide what to do with you. The three of you are docked a month's pay, and if I ever catch any of you doing something like this again, I'll turn you in to the police myself!"

Several knocks landed on the door. "We're closed; come back tomorrow!" Cologne snarled. But the knocking continued. "Oh very well," grumbled the Amazon matriarch. She hopped over on her staff and opened the door.

"Hi there," said Tabitha Smith, who walked in without waiting to be invited..

"Did those x-geeks kick you out after what happened?" asked Lance, who then cringed when Cologne glared back at him for interupting.

"Nah," said Tabitha. "I just realized that me and that place-it's not a good fit. So can I crash here?"

"Go," Cologne said to the boys. "We'll talk later." As soon as the three of them exited the room, Cologne turned back to Tabitha. "So, you want to live here, do you?"

"For now, yeah," said Tabitha, who just walked over to the counter and lay down her duffel bag. "I may not want to stay at that place anymore, but I don't want to go back to Mom-she's got enough on her plate without me adding to it-and I certainly don't want to drop out of school, even though it's not my favorite place. So can I stay?"

"I'm not going to just let you freeload," said Cologne. "You're going to have to earn your keep. This place could use another waittress. Can you do it?"

"Yeah sure."

"I expect you to be here at 3:30 exactly after school, and work until 8:30; Shampoo and Konatsu don't have school so they can handle most of the load. Saturday and Sunday, you work from noon until 9:00; you'll get two alternating days off during the work. No socializing or making dates with any of the customers while you're working, you have to be prompt and courteous, and absolutly no chewing gum or slacking while you're on the job. Can you handle that?"

"How much does it pay?" Tabitha asked.

"Nothing. You'll work for tips." Before Tabitha could answer Cologne went on, "You'll be getting free food, free room and board, and free medical care-yes, I know of a doctor in town that knows about mutants and will treat them with no questions asked. I'm not forcing you take this deal, and trust me you don't have any better options.

Tabitha sighed. The dried up old hag was right; she really didn't have any choice. She didn't want to live out on the street and she didn't want to drop out of school. "Agreed. When do I start?"


The sunday afternoon was, Rahne Sinclair though, perfect for a girl to be spending with the boy she liked.

The only problem was that the 'boy' in question was for the moment, a young girl at she start of her monthly period.

Ranma Saotome was walking right next to Rahne, dressed in her her blue jeans and white tee-shirt with a brown leather jacket. An old friend of Professor Xavier named Reed Richards had discovered a means of treating clothes by desttabilizing their molecules so they could adjust to a change in the shape of the body; Rahne's own clothes were so treated as to change into a dog collar when she went fully wolf. The altered clothes clung to Ranma's curves and chest and the masculine manner in which she walked showed her feminine attributes in such a way that actually made Rahne a little jealous. "Couldn't ye have Rogue touch ye so ye'd be male for a while?"

"Nah, not a good idea," Ranma replied. "If she touches someone too much for too long, it's kinda bad for her mentally. Heck, the first time she did it she needed to touch me three times for me to get through a school day during this time. Now, she only need to touch me in the morning and I'm good until school's out." Ranma smiled. "Heck a couple months ago I found if I concentrate hard enough I can go full male during my period. Only lasts a minute though; it kinda hurts real bad in a way I can't explain."

"Kin ye do it right now?" Rahne asked.

"Not a good idea."

"Why not?"


Rahne both blushed and giggled at the image that produced in her head. "Never thought I'd be dating a lad who had to put up with what we lassies go through."

"Yeah, my x-gene's got a strange sense of humor." Ranma had said that thing the last time he had a private discussion with Professor Xavier.

That's an interesting theory Ranma.

Huh? Whaddya mean?

That the x-gene which gives us our powers is sentiant in and of itself, yet not revealing itself as such. 'Playing possum,' to use an American expression.

Yeah, it's definetly playing with me, Ranma thought to herself. "C'mon Rahne, I wanna show you somthin'."

The two redheads stepped into an alleyway, making sure that no one was watching them. Ranma undid the pigtail holding her hair.

Rahne blinked, with the long reck locks loose and framing her face Ranma looked much more feminine. "Ye know, ye look a lot like a short Jean that way. As if you could be her little sister or cousin."

"Watch this." Ranma closed her eyes, and her red hair faded to white while her complexion became milk choclate. "Now ye look like Storm!" Ranma's complexion and hair changed again. "An now ye look like a short version of Rogue! Wait a minute. How'd ye do her goth makeup?"

"Something I found out I could do during my last period." Ranma held up her hand and her nails changed to various lengths and colors. "Like my hair, eyes and skin, this only works when I'm female." She finally changed her hair to a curley honey-blonde and her skin to an ivory porcelin; her lips and nails became a deep red, and when Ranma opened her eyes they were jade green and shaded purple with long thick eyelashes. "How do I look?"

"Any more eyeliner, and ye'd look like a hooker," Rahne laughed. "I wish I could do that; puttin on makeup's a real pain sometimes."

"I wish I didn't have it," Ranma muttered. "But Professor X suggested that I learn to use my female form as a disguise; I figure now's as good a time as any to try. Think Ukyo will recognize me like this?"

"I just saw ye do it, and I donna recognize ye." Ranma smelled the same-or the same as when she was female. Rahne felt wistful; Ranma's female form was attractive but not what Rahne wanted and female Ranma's scent didn't do anything for her. The Scottish girl couldn't wait until Ranma's period was over.

Ryoga Habiki sighed with relief. Finally, he'd gotten away from that Asuza Shiritori!Ryoga shuddered; he didn't think he could take another minute of being her 'Charlotte.'

"Where am I now?" he asked himself as he looked around. He seemed to be in the middel of some desert.

There was a boy who looked a couple of years older than Ryoga standing nearby. "Hey there. You lost?" he asked Ryoga in English.

"Yeah, kinda," Ryoga said. "I'm Ryoga Hibiki. What's your name?"

"Rick Jones."

"You two kids! Get down!" A slight, bespectacled man in a lab coat ran out to them and shoved them into a pre-dug trench. "They're about to test a-"

Just then there was a big explosion-

A young Japanese girl showed Ranma and Rahne to their table. "We've got a new cook, the boss's niece. She's best at okinomiyaki, but she can cook a whole bunch of other stuff too. You want her, she's your's."

"Her name Ukyo?" Ranma asked, although she knew this was the restarount owned by Ukyo's uncle.

"Yes that's her."

Rahne ordered a meat-lover okinomiyaki like she'd had at the carnival, Ranma fried noodles with pork and shrimp. The waitress left, and a few seconds later, Ukyo came out, dressed in traditional Japanese chef's attire.

Immediatley she got to work, using the conbination of cooking and theatrics that only the Japanese seem to have. Ranma couldn't help but star; this Ukyo's style seem so much like the one she'd known back in Japan all those years ago. Could it be?

Ukyo had finished Rahne's okinomiyaki, then looked at her. "Say, you're the girl who was with Ranma Saotome at the carnival Friday, weren't you."

Rahne nodded. "What have ye got against him, if I may ask?"

"You really want to know?" Rahne nodded. "We we friends back in Japan when we were six. We had this game where he'd come and we'd spar; if he won he got a free okinomiyaki.. He always won, of course.

"Then one day my father came and told me he had made a deal with Ranma's dad-he'd betroth me to Ranma, and even throw in the family okinomiyaki cart as a dowry, and I'd get to go with them."

"But-ye were only six!" Rahne cried. Ranma was taken aback; Ukyo's story sounded alwfully familier, but she had no idea about any betrothal.

"Old custom. Not really done much today, but still practiced some in the countryside." Ukyo shrugged. "It was how my parents were married. But on the day I was supposed to leave with them, they came, and took the cart-" and now the Japanese brunette's face turned red, "-AND LEFT ME BEHIND!"

Ranma just sat and ate her noodles; this sounded all so familier, yet so strange. Now that she thought about it, she did remember her and her father leaving with the Kuonji family cart. She even remembered seeing Ukyo run after them and crying as they left!

"Ukyo, there's another table waiting for you," a blonde Swedish looking woman called out from the counter.

"Right away, Aunt Inga," Ukyo replied. Just before she left she turned to Rahne. "Take my advice Sugar. I don't know how serious you were with Saotome, but dump him; that jack$$ will give you nothing but grief."

After she left, Rahne looked at Ranma. "Is what she's sayin' true?"

"I don't know," Ranma said truthfully. "I mean, the way she said it, it sound a lot like tha Ukyo I knew. But I thought that she was a guy. And I had no idea about any sort of betrothal-I meanc'mon, I thought she was a guy!"

Now Rahne's senses were heightened even in her human form, and she could smell emotions. She was still learning how to sort them out, but she was pretty sure she smelled surprise, anxiety, and shock in Ranma. "I want to believe ye, Ranma. I really do."

"Tell you what. When we get back to the mansion, we'll have either Jean read my mind. That satisfy you?"

"Sure," Rahne repleid, and they finished eating lunch together.

A small ways away from Bayville's mall district to what used to be called the Bayville Boarding House and was now the Cat Cafe, Akane Tendo walked in. "Kanichiwa, Akane, said a man sitting with a woman sitting near the dooway.

"Konichiwa, McCoy sensai, Hinako snesai," Akane replied, surpised and pleased that Mr. McCoy knew Japanese.

"Please, call me Hank," said the teacher. "We're not in school now."

Akane nodded; so far she'd seen that Americans were less given to formality than her own countrymen were. "Why'd you want to speak with me?"

"Sit down, please." Akane did; as she sat she noticed Mr. McCoy and Miss Hinako were holding hands. Are they a couple? she wondered

"Akane, I've wanted to talk to you about that second stink bomb you made."

"What about it?" Akane asked.

"Well, how shall I put this-yesterday, I examined it. The contents were roughley the same as in the usual stink-bomb's I've helped make, give or take the amount of a few chemical compnents. Yet yesterday, I took it out into a field near where some friends of my family own and set it off and-let's just say I hope the EPA never traces it back to me."

"Gosh, Mr McCoy-er Hank," said Akane. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't apologize, Akane," said Mr. McCoy replied. "Professor Xavier also tells me you'v been having this 'prank war' with a couple of boys at the Institute."

"Uh, yeah." Akane felt herself blush; this very morning she'd put something on Bobby and Roberto's toothbrushes that, when they brushed their teesh that morning, caused them to foam at the mouth as if they had rabies. Served them right, for the superglue that they had put on her door knob when she got home from the carnival.

"That truly is an amazing gift you have," said Miss Hinako. "Hank here thinks that with proper knowledge of chemistry you might be able to make really useful things, not just ways to prank people."

"I only do it to Bobby and Roberto, and only after they've done something to me or my friends."

"Yes, Xavier explained to me about that." Mr. McCoy chuckled. "It almost reminds me of my old college days-but anyway, I feel that you have real potential in chemistry-not just the use of your powers, but that you could have a real affinity for the science, if you study hard and apply yourself."

"Really?" Akane said. She'd never had any particular interest in chemistry before she learned about her powers, but now she really began to consider her teacher's words.

"May I take your order?"

Akane looked up and saw Tabitha Smith dressed in chinese clothes and an apron, with a pen and pad. "You're working here Tabitha?" she asked.

"Yeah I am. Now could we take your order; I'm not allowed to socialize while working."

"Oh. Sorry." Akane, Mr. McCoy, and Miss Hinako gave their orders, and Tabitha hurried back to the counter.

At a small booth near the far wall of the Cat Cafe, Logan was sitting alone. No one who knew him recognized him; he wore a false beard, longshoreman's clothes, and a cloth cap over his hair. Somewhere-maybe it was Weapon-X, maybe he learned it before those #$%#% got their hands on him-Logan knew how to disguise himself quite well. He wasn't a great actor but as long as he kept quiet and didn't draw notice to himself his disguises fooled even those closest to him.

The Canadian was listening through a tiny device in his ear. Forge had created it; it amplified Logan's already keen hearing so he could hear what was being said out in the backyard.

Jeeez Toad, that's the fifth practice dummy you've broken today! Mousse cried out. Those aren't easy to repair; please try to be more careful!

Sorry, Logan heard the gangly teen say, I don't know the strength in my legs.

Well, c'mon. That old ghoul's going to be taking us to the Aidriondack next week next, and we better show we haven't waisted our practice sessions.

Son in law! A graveley voice spoke up. We have another takeout order. You better get on it!

Logan couldn't help but suppress a smile as he saw Pietro Maximoff appear behind the counter, grab a bag full of takeout, and rush for the door. With that boy making deliveries, it was no wonder the Cat Cafe had gotten a reputation for fast service.

He tried to listen further, but couldn't make out anything past the sounds of fists and kicking feet hitting wood and straw. Evidently the 'old ghoul' Quicksilver was referring to was the old woman who had come back behind the counter, balencing herself on a rather ornate staff. He understood that this woman was Cologne, Shampoo's great grandmother, to whom Mystique had given this house and turned it into a restaurant.

Logan finished his prawn and pork ramen, saw Tabitha come up to his table, and took the bill. As he got up from his table, he left a very large tip for Tabitha.

Logan had gone to the parking lot for his motorcycle, when he heard a tapping sound behind him. Turning, he saw that old lady, balencing on her staff. Logan was impressed, not many short of Quicksilver could move fast enough to surprise him.

"You're the one Raven called Logan, aren't you?"

"What if I am?"

Cologne just cackled. "It's been a long time, and the years have certainly been far kinder to you than they have been to me-James Howlett."

"My name's Logan," he replied. Although he had to admit the name did sound familier.

"Now you go by that name. But I can read the aura of a person's chi, and it is as unique to a person as a pingerprint. And when I knew you before, you were Corporal James Howlett of the Canadian paratroopers."

Logan blinked This woman knew him? It was certainly possible; from what few memories he had from before Weapon X got there hands on him Logan knew he was far older than he looked. "Listen lady, I won't deny that what you're saying may be true. Several years ago, some $^^&$&$$holes took me and $%^^&#^#^$ with both my body and my memories."

"So you don't remember coming to China during the Second World War? And the native woman who helped you and your American partner free a large number of Allied prisoners being held at a Japanese prison camp deep inside China?"

Logan tried; what she said sounded familier, but he just couldn't remember. But there were things he did remember. "You knew Steve too?"

Cologne cackled. "In a way, I knew him far better than you."

Happosai leaped on the rooftops from the mob of angry girls. "What a haul! What a haul!" he cried. Ever since he'd awoken from that sleep Sount Tendo and Genma Saotome had put him in, the panty raiding had never been so good. Heck, he was even staying with Tendo and freeloading of of his old disciple and his daughter.

Suddenly knife came out from nowhere and cut open the bag holding the stolen underwear. "My-my darlings!" the shriviled old martial artist cried as the bras and panties blew away.

He was about to leap out after them when all of a sudden chains came out from nowhere and wrapped themselves around him. An unseen force lifted him down from the rooftops and into a nearby alleyway. Suddenly Happosai was floating a few feet above the ground before a tall man with white hair dressed in a fedora hat and trenchcoat. With him were two others, a Chinese boy of about sixteen and Rusian looking man who seemed a little older.

"Is this the one you described," the white-haired man asked the Chinese boy. The latter nodded. The white haired man turned back to Happosai. "Happosai, I am called Magneto. These are my employees Taro and Piotr Rasputin; Taro tells me he has 'business' with you."

Kodachi Kuno flipped from one gymnastics bar to the next; she was the embodiment of grace. She caught the third bar with ankles and circled three to for times before leaping into the air, then landing on her feet in a perfect somersault.

The staff and fellow patients at the asylum-those that weren't considered too dangerous to be out of their cells-applauded. "That girl is quite amazing," said a nun sitting next to the asylum director. "She should be outside, competing in gymnastics, not confined here to this asylum."

"I wish she could," said the director. "But Miss Kuno suffers from a very unusual personality disorder. Most of the time, she a kind, helpful, and sweet person-as long as she kept away from plants. But if she gets near them-even lawn grass-" the director shivered, "-and bad things happen."

"Really?" the nun asked. "What sort of things?"

"Bad things, Sister Branwynn," the director simply repeated. "Even if she get's near lawn grass." Kodachi walked over to another girl dressed in a scarlet leotard. "And that girl Wanda. She's even more terrifying. The only time we don't need to restrain her is when Kodachi's around; the other girl seems to have a rather calming effect on her." Now Wanda was doing gymnastics on the bars-not quite with the same grace as Kodachi did but undeniable skill.

"But surely an insane asylum is no place for these two girls. They're young, and in the best years of their lives," said Sister Branwynn. "My order does work with wayward girls such as them; surely you may be able to arrange for them to be released into our custody?"

"Maybe," said the director. "We'll need to discuss this further."

After Wanda finished her routine, another young woman-one who was a little older than Wanda or Kodachi and had frequent biuts where she claimed pink Christmas trees were attacking her- got up and began a routine of her own.

Finally the gymanstics demonstration ended; the patients were taken back to their cells; the staff not on call and their guests left-including the nun called sister Branwynn. A limosine came up to where the nun was waiting. She got down, and sat next to a blind woman. "Did you manage to speak to the girls?" she asked the nun.

'Sister Branwynn' smimmered and morphed into Mystique. "Not yet, Irene. This is going to take a bit more work. We're going to need Mastermind."

Hank McCoy was sitting on the couch in Hinako Ninamiya's apartment; his mind was thinking back on the day. After their talk with Akane, Hinako expended the ki she had absorbed from her tank full of fighting fish, leaving her a child.

They could have gone back to her place then, but instead Hinako wanted to go to Coney Island, and the admission was less for children, so they just went from there.

And now that Hank thought about it, most of the times he'd gone out with Hinako had been in her child state, like the school carnival Friday. Or when they went to the movies two weeks before. Sure, it was hard for her to carry her fish bowel around to keep her in her adult state. But Hank found himself enjoying this relationship much more than any he'd had in a long time.

Am I some sort of repressed pedophile? he found himself wondering. He hated the thought; when he was in college he'd worked as a intern at an asylum for the criminally insane and encountered such men. Hank despised them with all his soul; he'd also seen the damage they did to the psyches of the children they molested. But many of them had backgrounds similar to his: they'd frequently been camp couselors, babysitters, youth group leaders, and many of the things Hank had been in his teens and twenties.

"Hey big boy." Hinako walked out to the living room fully adult and dressed in a skimpy neglegee, fishnet stocking and high heels, with no trace of the child body she'd had only a few seconds before. "I've had enough kiddy fun for today." She sat on top of Hank and pressed her lips onto his; their tounges caressing each other. "Now I want some grown-up fun."

As Hinako undid the button and zipper of his pants, Hank decided their was nothing wrong with him at all.

End of Chapter 22

Okay, I know this was kind of a filler. I hope to include more then next.

Okay, what do you think of the pairing up I've done so far:





For those of you who are wondering, James Howlett is Logan's real name. He forgot it after Weapon X messed with his mind, and even before he commonly went by Logan.

Next chapter deals with Hank turning into Beast, and Ranma manages to resolve his matter with Ukyo. Happosai's going to be a prisoner on Asteroid M.

And to the two anonymous reviewers, one who thought Sabretooth was Shampoo's great-grandfather and the other who suggested Omega Red-you're both wrong. I mentioned he was American; Omega Red is from Russia and Sabretooth is Canadian