Just a little oneshot story I came up with. It's kinda sad, but it seemed like such a good idea, that I just had to write it.
Pairing: Mainly Laven (LavixAllen). Just the slightest bit of one sided AllenxLenalee.
Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man. The day I do is the day that all Yaoi fangirls say they no longer like yaoi. It's just not happening.
It was that day.
Many of the people that day were excited, whispers of joy slipping from between the lips of all that were present in the Order that day.
All except for one.
Lavi, Bookman Junior.
It was the long expected and finally present day of Allen's and Lenalee's wedding. Everyone had known that it would happen, even Komui, although he still refused to really except the truth of it.
Even Lavi knew about it, but it still didn't mean that he was happy about it.
But of course, no one was actually going to know about it. He was a Bookman after all. He didn't have a heart for such insignificant things.
So why then did he feel this way?
Allen sighed at his reflection in the mirror before attempting to adjust his bow tie again.
He needed it to be perfect. After all, it was that day. The day he was getting married.
After finally having his bow tie adjusted to be just right, Allen took a step back to get a better view of himself in the full body mirror.
The person in the mirror had the same white hair and scar that he had, but for some reason, Allen just couldn't seem to understand how it could possibly be him. They looked so….perfect.
The clothes that looked just absolutely perfect, and the expression on his face was astounding. It was the same sort of expression a kid would have on Christmas morning. An expression that suggested that he was the happiest man alive.
So why didn't he feel that way?
Instead he was feeling sick. Sick to the pit of his stomach. Nervousness maybe? No, that wasn't it. Then what could it be?
A sudden knock on the door snapped him out his reverie. Allen took a quick glance at the still closed door before looking back at the mirror again. Whoever was on the other side quickly opened the door, not bothering to ask Allen if he could enter.
"What do you want?" asked Allen. His voice sounded hallow and empty as he spoke.
He knew who it was who just entered. He could just tell from the feeling in his chest. A feeling he was more than just slightly familiar with.
Allen closed his eyes and sighed as he felt someone's arms wrap around his thin waists, and as someone's face being pressed into the crook of his neck. Allen's arms, which had been dangling against his side, suddenly reached up and gently caressed the other's face.
"Why?" asked Lavi, his voice slightly muffled as he pressed his face harder against Allen. "I don't understand"
Allen said nothing, but continued to stroke the other's face.
"It hurts. But I'm a Bookman, so why do I still feel like this? I don't understand, Allen, but I just can't seem to stand the thought of you with someone else"
Allen, still in Lavi's grasp, turned around to face the red head. Allen reached up to hold the older boys face between his hands. He looked into Lavi's one visible emerald green eye.
"Lavi…" whispered Allen, and suddenly neither boy could hold back as they pressed their faces forward, their lips crashing together.
In a matter of seconds, both exorcists were on the floor. Lavi crawled on top of Allen, pinning him down. Allen craned his neck upwards to meet Lavi half way, and they were suddenly kissing again. Their kissed were rough and demanding as if they were trying to get as much as possible with each and every kiss.
Allen, instantly knowing what to do, parted his lips to allow Lavi's tongue some access. Lavi didn't even hesitate in the offer, and stuck his tongue in, both of them instantly fighting for dominance.
They broke apart in what would have been a tie, as they breathed in large gulps of fresh air. Instead of going back to what he was doing before, Lavi decided to nibble at Allen ear, earning a small moan from the smaller boy below him. Lavi's mouth traveled downwards, nibbling, biting and licking as he went.
Lavi pulled at Allen's perfect bowtie until it came loose. Allen could hear himself in the back of his mind mumbling about how long it took to get the simple ribbon like that, but for now he didn't care as he watched Lavi discard it to the side.
Lavi eyed Allen with hungry sort of look in his eye as he undid the top few buttons of the other boy's shirt. Allen returned his look with one that suggested that he was just as needy.
Lavi bit Allen's now exposed collar bone, earning himself a deep moan from the boy below him. Allen fisted Lavi's crimson red hair as the said other licked the wounded spot on his now exposed skin. Lavi's hands tugged at Allen's tucked in shirt, pulling it out from his pants. Lavi's hands reached under neither, his hands touching every possible inch of skin.
Allen gasped at the fiery touch of Lavi's hands across the skin of his chest, the feeling tingling each and every now sensitive nerve in his body. Allen bit down on his slightly swallow lips, trying to suppress the moan that was threatening to slip out from between his lips.
Lavi's fingers toyed with Allen nipple's, playing with it until he felt the bit of skin become hard and then moving on to the other one. Allen suppressed yet another moan.
Lavi raised his head towards Allen's, pressing their lips together again. This time Allen couldn't hold back the moan as Lavi licked at his lips.
When Lavi heard the sound escape from the smaller white haired boy, he pulled back with a somewhat satisfying look on his face. He took the time to carefully study Allen face, who was currently pouting, trying to understand why the older boy suddenly stopped their activity.
Lavi could help but give him a soft smile before leaning forward and giving him another kiss on the lips, although this one was gentler and less demanding.
"I love you" whispered Lavi.
Allen's eyes widened in surprise, for he had never heard the red head say that before. Allen had long came to the conclusion that despite all the things the two of them had done (most being more than just what simple friends would do), the other boy would never say those three words to him, for he was a Bookman after all.
"Lavi…." Allen began, although he never got to finish, for Lavi interrupted him.
"Don't Allen. Don't make excuses for me" said Lavi, for he knew perfectly well what Allen was about to say "I have no reason not have said that sooner to you. We both knew I had been lying to myself all this time by refusing to say those words to you. I'm a Bookman, and I'm not suppose to have a hearts, but it doesn't mean I don't"
Lavi looked at Allen, an indescribable look of affection and love on his face.
"I love you Allen. I love everything about you. I love the way you smile and the way your voice sounds so beautiful and clear as you laugh. I love the way you look at me and how it makes me feel, and even if it's just for a second, I forget that I'm a Bookman, and I feel as if I have an actual heart. I love the way you look. I love how your hair is as white as snow, so innocent and unique looking. And your eyes, the scar, your arm, it all seems so beautiful to me. And I love your skin, so pale and perfect, and I love the way it feels as I run my fingers across it" said Lavi, emphasizing each word with a kiss. Everything he said was spoken with so much feeling, that Allen knew everythingthat everything that was being said was the truth.
"I love you, Allen. You have no idea how much. The thought of you plagues my mind every second of every day that I can no longer do anything on my own. I need you Allen. I need you so bad. I need you just to get through the day. I love you Allen. Don't leave me broken and in pieces like this"
Allen reached up to hold Lavi's face as he brought it down to his own face, gently kissing him.
A knock at the door broke their kiss as they both turned to look at it, but Lavi didn't bother to move from his position above Allen, nor did Allen try to get the older boy off of him.
Kanda opened the door and stepped in, making no comment about the two boys on the floor. After all, he was the only one who had known about their secret relationship.
"Hurry up you two. It's about to start" he said before turning around and leaving again.
Those simple words were like a blow from reality, hitting Allen right in the face and reminding him that it was that day. The day of his marriage. The horrible feeling was in his gut again.
Lavi slowly got up from his spot before helping Allen up as well. Allen, not knowing what to do, just stood there, a blank expression on his face.
Lavi reached over and begun buttoning up Allen's clean, white, if not slightly crumpled up shirt. He tucked the edges of the shirt into Allen's black pants, before going off to search for the ribbon he had tossed off to the side earlier.
Lavi returned to Allen, holding the ribbon. The smaller boy had still yet to move, just staring off ahead of him. Lavi wrapped the ribbon around Allen's slim neck as he begun to tie it into a bow.
"Stop looking so sad" said Lavi. He tried to sounds cheerful, but it was hard to tell when his voice came out as barely more than a whisper. "It's your wedding after all, you shouldn't be so sad on such an important day"
"Shut up, Lavi" snapped Allen, cutting the other boy off "I'm not happy, you're not happy, neither of us is happy, so don't even pretend to be" The corner of Allen's eyes begun to water as he spoke.
Lavi kissed the corners of Allen's eyes, wiping away the oncoming tears.
"All right. I won't try and force you to be happy, but it is you wedding. I know you probably want to be with me and not her, and believe me when I say that I agree with you just as much, we both know it's not going to happen. I'm a Bookman, and I'm not supposed to love. Besides if you decide to reject Lenalee on her wedding day, I think both Lenalee and Komui would be so furious that you would be on the run for the rest of your life" Lavi chuckled, but Allen remained silent.
Lavi sighed. He took Allen's hand, his deformed left one. Allen had been with Lavi for so long that he no longer flinched or felt afraid when the red head touched the rough and jagged skin.
Lavi lifted the hand up to his face, and placed a gentle kiss against the skin.
"Allen, love" whispered Lavi, catching the eye of the younger boy. "I love you and I always will. I just want you to know that. Even if you marry someone else, it doesn't mean we can't still love each other. Just remember that"
The two leaned forward for one more kiss, both of them knowing that this would probably the last kiss that the two of them would ever share between each other.
Lavi pulled back and gave a light squeeze of Allen's hand, before he began pulling the smaller boy towards the door.
"Come one, Moyashi-chan. Let's go before everyone starts to really worry and decide to send a search party for us"
"My name isn't Moyashi. It's Allen" pouted Allen with annoyance. Lavi laughed for he knew perfectly well that the pouting was just an act, and the white haired boy didn't really care what Lavi decided to call him.
"I love you Allen. I really do"
Everyone's eyes were on Lenalee as she gracefully glided down the aisle in her beautiful white dress. Komui could be heard sobbing the whole time from the first row of seats.
They had the right to stare, for she was absolutely stunning today, a beauty that was far beyond any other woman's. Her dress was perfect, hugging her body, and bringing out the best of her figure. And it was pure white, a color much like Allen's hair.
But Lavi just barely glanced at her before his eyes moved to rest on Allen. In his mind Allen was the most gorgeous person in the whole room. No one came even close to comparison. Not even Lenalee.
Lavi and Kanda stood towards the side of Allen. The two of them were both Best Man, for both of them were very important to not only Allen, but Lenalee as well, so it only seemed right that they were both up there.
The two of them watched as Allen took Lenalee's hand, and helped her with the last few remaining steps to the altar.
Lavi couldn't help but notice Allen's smile. It wasn't the same as the ones that the white haired boy would always give him, and somehow Lavi knew that one smile was reserved specially for him, and that no one would ever see it.
Lavi's heart began to ache as the priest began to speak. He could practically feel his heart fall apart bit by bit, until it was nothing but dust lying at the bottom of his chest. Lavi almost suddenly screamed out to stop the wedding, just so Lenalee wouldn't be able to have his precious Allen. Just so no one could have Allen except for him.
But he couldn't do that. Allen deserved to have someone that would always be able to love him and stand beside him for the rest of his life. Allen deserved someone better than him. He was a Bookman after all, and he would just be with Allen until he had to leave, and then the name Allen Walker would be just that. Just a name, written with ink on paper. Allen deserved so much more.
Lavi's mind just barely registered as the priest began his part before the 'I do's. Lavi's whole world seemed to suddenly be dangling from nothing but a thin thread and he knew that he couldn't do this. He couldn't just stand here and listen as Allen, his lover, agreed to marry some else. He couldn't do it.
Lavi suddenly spun around and walked away, although no one beside Kanda noticed, since everyone else was too engaged in watching the couple at the altar.
Kanda, although he had never been one to be very emotional like his Master, felt his heart go out to Lavi. He was the only one who knew about Allen and Lavi's secret relationship, and he knew exactly all the things that the two had gone through. All the hardships they had, Lavi being a Bookman, the two of them being male and having to hide their relationship, and then for the sudden decided marriage between Allen and Lenalee. Of course Kanda had known that Allen was actually against the marriage in the beginning, but Lavi wouldn't let him not marry her, that Allen finally gave in. The two had gone through so much, and now it was all being thrown back into their face as their world crashed down around them.
The two of them deserved to have each other, and now they never will.
Love was not only blind, but also stupid.
The priest paused in his talking to take a breath, although he held it out extra long for emphasize.
"Will you, Allen Walker, take Lenalee Lee as your wife through sickness and in health until death do you part?"
Allen felt his insides do a flip, and it was all he could to hold himself back from barfing all over the priest. He couldn't do this, he just couldn't. He loved Lavi, and he couldn't just go and marry someone else just because their love wasn't excepted or even possible. The two of them would get through it somehow. They would do it together, because they loved each other and would always be there for each other. No matter what.
Allen knew that Lavi felt the same way, so Allen turned to look over at him to confirm the feeling, but Allen saw only Kanda, standing there by himself.
Allen's world seemed to suddenly shatter when he noticed that the man he loved wasn't standing there beside him. Kanda's face was blank and unemotional just as always, but the look in his eyes told Allen that the long haired samurai was truly sympathetic to him.
Allen couldn't stand one more second of looking at the spot that Lavi had just been, so instead he faced Lenalee. He put on a perfect mask of false happiness as he spoke the two words that would bind him for the rest of his life.
So watcha think? Like? Don't like? Leave me a review and comment on what you think about it.
Oh and just to kind of clear something up, I hold no grudge against Lenalee, and I didn't write this story to make people pissed off at her (well you can be pissed off if you want to. I'm not telling what to or what not to do). I thought Lenale would be the best person to use in this case, especially since no one else really fit the bill. I could have made it a Yullen in the end, but that would kind of contridct some of the things I said, and then I would also have to find someone else to take over Kanda's role. So yah...