A/N: For a standard disclaimer see my profile. The lyrics on top are from "All The Love In The World" by NIN and Trent Reznor is one more person that's not me (thank god).
"All the jagged edges disappear,
Colors all look brighter when you're near.
The stars are all afire in the sky,
Sometimes I get so lonely I could...
Why do you get all the love in the world?
Why do you get all the love?"
"You think I should risk my life to save Amber's." More of a statement, than a question. No point in asking, when you already know the answer.
House knows that people don't understand his friendship with Wilson. They can't understand why someone like Wilson would willingly tie himself to someone like House. Everyone can see what Wilson does for House, but they can't see what's in it for Wilson. It makes no sense at all, so they wonder, they speculate, and finally - ask. Ask Wilson, of course, no one in their right mind would go and ask House. And Wilson never really answers, only smiles.
House wishes he would say something, because he's not sure either. "I don't want to push it 'till it breaks" he said one day, and he means it. The problem is, without knowing what's important to Wilson, he can't tell where the breaking point is. He thinks that smile is a good thing, it's different than other Wilson's smiles, it's his House-smile. Wilson has a special smile, just for him, so it must be a good thing, right?
House doesn't want it to break, but he can't stop pushing. Wilson's not talking, so House has to find the invisible edge of the cliff by himself, because once he finds it, he will be able to mark the border, build a wall around it and take a cautious step back. And never, never fall down.
Another part of House, the one that speaks in his father's voice and whispers poison into his thoughts, knows he can never possibly deserve Wilson, so it has to break one day. House can't stop pushing, because if it has to break, he'd rather it broke now. While he still knows how to go on by himself, without Wilson there. Because he's giving in, more and more every day, and finally, in the not so distant future, he will need Wilson like he needs to breath, and if he falls then, he won't be able to get up.
"You think I should risk my life to save Amber's." House asks his non-question, Wilson nods and House can't give him the answer he wants to give, because this is it – that one word would finally break it and send him falling.
He wandered right to the edge, without noticing it, and now it's too late.
"Okay" he says instead. He doesn't want to, he's scared, he doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to become a vegetable, and it hurts, it hurts so much that Wilson would put her first and House second. He doesn't want to, but it's Wilson, who has a special smile just for him and the cliff is inches away, and House can no longer say "no".