Finding the Muse
I was curled up in my comfy chair, the comfy chair that I had claimed as my own downstairs in the Cullens' living room. The house was desolate other than Edward and me. He was upstairs trying to piece together a master piece of perfection. Although what I heard was perfection to me, Edward didn't seem very intrigued by what was falling from his fingers. I was more than intrigued; I was amazed. But, Edward was an artist… Although, I did not understand artists, I understood Edward. He always had this sound in his head…this sound of perfection, but he couldn't grasp it. He could find his muse, but once finding it, he had to grasp hold of it, and that had proven to be difficult lately. With a final growl, and a bang on the keys, I heard silence.
I smiled to myself, closing my book, and stood. I made my way to the staircase and up to the bedroom. Peering through the door, I saw Edward bent over beside his piano, resting his elbows on his knees. "What's the matter love?" I asked, breaking his silence.
He sighed. He turned back to his piano, and began to stroke the keys once again. And once again, the music sounded with delicacy and beauty. I could not see what was wrong with the music. I heard no flaws. But he did. I suppose as long as he was in love with the piece was all that mattered. I came up behind him and I placed my hands on his shoulders, hoping to send a sense of ease through him. He growled again. "I can leave?" I insisted in a quiet tone. I didn't want to disturb him. I was only checking up on him. Once, he became so frustrated that he almost broke the piano. Thankfully, I got to him before that could happen.
"No, please don't," he stopped me before I could make my decent toward the door. He turned on the stool, and placed his hands on my waist, burying his head into my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to act like his escape. I always tried to be his escape. Ever since the change, worries seemed to decrease. I was grateful that I was never the only worry Edward had. It made me feel better, yet sad in a way. I was glad that I was not adding to Edward's troubles, yet I was sad that I couldn't take them all away. But with the worries that he had, such as trying to piece together a puzzle called a "Master Piece," I always tried to make them better. He sighed into me, pulling me closer to him.
I tightened my grip into his hair. "What's wrong?" I asked. Usually, when you know your problem out loud and focused, it's easier to find the answer.
"I've got it perfectly plotted out in my head….but I can't get it out…" His voice held the angst that he was feeling.
"You know your destination; you just don't know how to get there," I concluded.
"Exactly," he looked up to me.
"Well," I sighed, placing myself on his lap, "with you, music only comes with strong inspiration…"
"I have inspiration. I just can't get the music to form." He was getting frustrated with himself. Just as he hated to see me frustrated with myself, I hated to see him frustrated with himself. "It's not like your lullaby. It came out…so quickly…with such ease." He paused, and then continued. "I keep trying to think of that, but that doesn't seem to be working…"
"Edward," I began, placing my head on his shoulder, "you know just as well as I that inspiration doesn't work that way. You can't get two different pieces from the same inspiration. You don't need to remember the inspiration for a successful piece that you have finished, because the inspiration was for the piece, not the success. You need to take a break to get your muse back…"
I stood and he turned back to the piano. Once again, his fingers began to work on the keys, and just as quickly as he began, he stopped. "Not…coming…" he groaned incoherently.
"You'll get it," I whispered in his ear, and began to leave him.
He held onto my hand, keeping me from leaving him. "No, please," he pleaded. "Stay…" I smiled at him. I loved it when he enjoyed my company just for the sake of my company. "Distract me… You're right…I'll get it back…" He pulled me onto his lap. "Distract me…" he repeated.
My hand crept up to his cheek, cupping it as I began to kiss him. He moved me to a straddling position. I dominated his lips with mine. I was doing my best to keep his thoughts from his worries. My hands fell to his neck, and down his chest. His kisses became desperate. Despite his firm hold on my waist, I still stood. My hands found his and I motioned for him to stand. I led him over to the bed. I placed my hand on his chest, signaling him to lie down. Once again, I straddled his waist. Immediately, he began to nip at my collarbone. I bit back a moan. Edward placed his hand on my cheek. He kissed me roughly, but I turned my hand into his palm. I had made it a habit to take his fingers into my mouth from time to time, and he loved it. I always got the most arousing sounds from him.
This time, he growled at me. Before I knew it, I was on my back. I giggled at his playfulness. We were like two kittens playing with one another, flipping each other around. Despite my being a vampire, I still had ticklish spots, and he still knew them. He poked my ribs in the right places, getting yelps from me. Laughing I begged for him to stop. As his fingers slowed, my laughs died out, he focused his lips on mine. He got lost into the moment. I could feel the vibration in his throat as he kissed me when he began to hum. It was familiar. I was so incoherent that it took me a few seconds to realize that it was his piece that he was working on.
He continued his humming as his lips vibrated across my skin, down the expanse of my neck. He nipped my earlobe when he stopped. For a moment, I thought I had done something wrong. Then he spoke, "That's it…" He leaned up, smiling brightly at me, and kissing me one last time. "Ah, I love you!" He exclaimed, and jumped off of the bed and returned to his piano.
He began the piece, with the same delicacy and beauty as before. But this time, as it died out, just as beautifully as it began, he smiled. He was now at ease. I grinned at his happiness. "It's beautiful," I whispered into his ear.
"Thank you," he said to me, pulling me back into his lap and kissing me.
"For what?" I asked.
"Finding my muse…"
I stared into his eyes. Eternity like this…with him…it will be so wonderful. "I love you," was all I could reply.
"I love you…"