How It All Breaks Down
A short Sato/Dai fic by Vikki

*****

… This really wasn't turning out the way Dark had expected.

~DAAAAARK! Dark! I can't believe you got caught! Now what!?~

/… Shut up, I'm thinking./

Actually, Daisuke probably had every right to be mentally screeching at Dark, as the kaitou had found himself, much to his horror, cuffed, irrevocably it seemed, to the wall of the room holding the Kisawa-Tenshi statue, a priceless crystal thing that Dark had intended to steal. Unfortunately, Dark wouldn't be stealing this priceless treasure - it looked more like he'd be going to jail.

/Never thought the creepy bastard could move so fast./

~Oh, that's just great!~ Daisuke was panicking, running in circles in the back of Dark's mind and crying tears of frustration. ~You're going to jail, and I have to go with you, and my family will be arrested, and - augh! Dark, don't do this to meee!~

Dark sighed aloud and let Daisuke break down into panicked hyperventilation. He couldn't blame the teenager for his horror - the boy wasn't really mentally prepared for this. Instead, Dark let his eyes travel to the creepy kid.

Said creepy kid was looking out the window, hands in his pockets and features impassive as usual. "Don't think about escaping," he said absently. "There is no lock to pick on those cuffs."

Something Dark had deduced some five minutes ago, much to the dismay of Daisuke. he rattled his arm in the cuff; it was rather loose around his wrist, but his hand wouldn't fit through it. /If only my hand were smaller …/ His thoughts strayed back to the whimpering teenager in the back of his head - and a brilliant thought crossed his mind.

/That's it!/

*****

Daisuke was vaguely aware of Dark's sudden elation, and he sobered immediately. ~What is it!? Can you get us out?~ he asked, delighted and relieved at the same time. He wouldn't have to go to jail! His family was safe! He -

/Big, brown eyes … bright, shimmery hair … she's so pretty …./

Dark was thinking about Riku.

~DAAAAAARRRRK!~ Daisuke screamed, feeling his conciousness being pushed to the forefront. Moments later he was sitting on the hard floor of the museum, oversized black sweater comepletely covering his free hand and falling to his elbow on his cuffed one, and black slacks loose around his waist. He surpressed a cry of horror.

Hiwatari-kun was looking right at him.

~Dark! Dark! What on earth were you thinking!?~ he demanded, unconciously pressing himself backwards against the wall and away from Hiwatari-kun.

/Are you panicking again!?/

~Dark! Hiwatari-kun has got to know you changed into me!~

/… I can't believe you didn't realize the creepy guy knew a long time ago./

~WHAT!?!~

Hiwatari-kun was still looking at Daisuke with those unnerving eyes. "Niwa-kun …?" he said slowly, walking towards the captured teenager.

~DARK! Why did you change, what do you expect me to do!?~

/Get out of the cuffs already! Your hand is small enough, idiot!/

Daisuke flattened himself against the wall. "H-H-Hiwatari-kun?" he answered, rattling his hand in the cuff. His knuckles, however, wouldn't slide past the silver edge.

Hiwatari-kun knelt in front of Daisuke, nose inches from Daisuke's own. "I didn't expect to see you," he said calmly.

Daisuke sweated, feeling full-blown panic creeping up on him. He quailed under the other boy's unwavering gaze, pulling rather desperately at the cuff. "I-I didn't really expect to see you either," he said in a small voice. Mentally he wailed, ~Dark! It's not working, my hand's too big!~

/Really? Crap./

~DARK!~

"I don't want to arrest you, Niwa-kun." Hiwatari-kun's voice was cool as usual, but he placed his arms against the wall on either side of Daisuke's dead.

Daisuke jerked more fervently on the cuff, trying to concentrate on Risa so he could let Dark deal with the unnerving situation, but failing miserably as he had a mental breakdown. It was remarkable that he wasn't actually crying. ~Dark, Dark, please get me out of this, it's your fault in the first place!~

/*snort*/

Daisuke blinked. Was it his imagination, or was Dark … laughing!?

/Ahaha … you're more likely to get us out of this than I am, Dai-chan … Bwahahahahaha! …/ the kaitou's words dissolved into peals of laughter.

~DAAARK!~ Daisuke wailed, but the kaitou was laughing too hard to reply.

"Niwa-kun?"

Daisuke snapped his attention back to the icy boy in front of him. "H-Hiwatari-kun?"

"I'm going to let you go, but you have to pay my tax," he said.

"T-tax?" Daisuke stuttered, but before he could finish, Hiwatari-kun's hand had closed over Daisuke's cuffed one, and Hiwatari-kun's warm, gentle lips covered Daisuke's mouth.

Daisuke froze in horrified shock before he fainted dead away.

*****

~You are so mean.~

Dark laughed as he flew over the rooftops, freed from the creepy guy's cuffs, no Kisawa-Tenshi in hand, but delighted nonetheless. Daisuke was moping - the sullen attitude had followed a fainting spell and panicked crying. Dark had taken over during the fainting spell, rescuing his host from the mortification that surely would have followed waking to the creepy kid's impassive face; besides, the creepy kid had released Daisuke from the cuffs during the kiss, so there was no reason not to take advantage of the chance to escape. /Hey, you wanted me to get us out of the situation, remember?/ he reminded the teenager in a sing-song tone.

~That's not what I meant and you know it!~ Daisuke hiccuped.

/Well, it's over, what does it matter?/

~Dark … if there was some way to strangle you …~

Dark just laughed again, spread his wings, and took off into the night sky.

~~

Owari ~

~~

Author's Notes: This is my first DNAngel fic, based largely off of what little I've seen of the manga. I just wrote this on a whim, thinking how funny it would be if Dark was finally caught, but it deteriorated into this little humor/fluff piece.

I fear dear Satoshi-kun is OOC to a degree; many apologies. I love a panicked Daisuke. He's hilarious - and Dark is, as always, in control of the situation, or appearing to be. ^_~x Well, that's all for now, folks …