Nervous Breakdown

She'd been against it from the beginning, so why did she feel so disappointed?

summary: 'I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. And I just had to go and start hyperventilating...'

timeline: an AU Fanfic, set with the characters being in college

It's twelve o' clock at night, my hair is wet and funny feeling from chlorinated water, and I'm just stumbling into my apartment. I drop my bag where I'm standing just inside the doorway, kick off my shoes, and throw my keys unceremoniously onto the kitchen table, where they clank with a rough noise. Yay, another dent in the wood.

I slump over the kitchen counter and reach into the freezer for the new carton of ice cream I bought at the store this Friday, and grab a fork out of the utensil drawer at my elbow. Chocolate, the best flavor. I don't give a flying fladoodle if my hair is pink, I will never understand strawberry. Pink hair doesn't automatically connect me to this strawberry, pink stuff, feminine sugar crap. Chocolate, however, is the ultimate comfort food, necessary for survival to a dramatic, screwed up person like myself who is all but convinced that the world is seriously over when something as minimal as midterms come around.

Right, I haven't introduced myself yet. See? I'm obviously stupid. Haruno Sakura here, college student, medical intern, economics major, and loser at life. Yeah, I have short, pink hair, green eyes, and a huge forehead. I'm a crazy, dramatic, nerdy neat freak who sucks at life. It's a wonder I have the half a dozen friends that I do. I am currently floundering around in an economics class that I love, am part of a marching band, and infatuated with an unobtainable guy. Unobtainable, you may ask? Well, he's not gay, taken, fictional, or married, but as I've mentioned before, I am a failure at life, so me and guys have never worked out because I'm such a freak who has no idea what to do. I am a legal adult and I have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone of the significant other sex. Pathetic, aren't I?

So, now that I've given you all this cheery picture of who I am, to the present once more. I took my ice cream and fork out of the kitchen and stumbled through my apartment, up to my room. I didn't even bother to turn on lights as I went, tripping over random crap that I had lying around and almost falling down the stairs. I finally felt my way into my bedroom, slapped my hand against the desk lamp and got it to turn on, and threw myself onto my bed, getting chocolate on it most likely. Damn, I'm out of washing machine tokens for this month too.

I curl up on my bed and start ripping my ice cream up with my fork, relishing in how the little metal spikes scarred the once smooth surface of the once untouched, rich brown dessert. I laughed a little to myself at the thought of impaling ice cream and started stabbing it some more. If you were wondering about how I'm a weirdo, I think it's a little clearer now, huh?

Wow, am I depressed tonight.

On an impulse, because I am depressed and must hear my best friend's voice and inform her of why I am depressed, I reached into the front pocket of my blue jeans and fished out my cell phone. I jabbed her speed dial number and pressed the phone to my ear.




"Dammit, pick up the freaking phone, Ino."



"Whaddya want?"


"Sakura, what the hell are you calling for at freaking twelve am?!"


"Don't tell me you're depressed again."


"-sigh- What happened with Sasuke?"

"-scoff- I said nothing about Sasuke."

"But I'm right."


"Just tell Ino what's wrong, honey."

"... okay, it's Sasuke."


"Shut up!"

"Alright, Sak, what happened?"

"Well, you know how the school marching band is always holding those awesome swim parties for us all late at night?"


"And how I always go to them cuz they're like, duh, awesome?"


"And how Sasuke's also a member of the band?"


"The totally gorgeous and sexy sax player."

"Only in your eyes. Just get to the point, Sak."


"Oh, I get it! You were both at the swim party, weren't you?!"

"-flatly- Yes."

"So? What's the big deal? You were both at the last one. He even swam up to you and said hi. That last time you called me and gushed for four hours about how insanely hott your pretty boy is, and how cute he looked with his goggles on when he was talking to you, and how you stared at his six pa-


"So, I'm guessing you had a nose bleed and someone freaked at the red in the water or something?"

"-scoff- No."

"A shark sensed the blood and went after the trumpet section?"

"Ino? We were in a swimming pool."



"So tell me already!"

"Fine, I shall now concede to tell the sad tale of how I destroyed the pathetic and meager remains of my sad life."

"-sigh- Dramatic as ever."

"-moan- Okay, we covered how I was at the band pool party that Sasuke was also at, because the universe hates me like that."

"Sasuke the sax player. Pool party. Evil universe. Got it."

"Well, you know that perverted game that girls get guys to play with them in the pool so they can flirt, where a girl will lie in the pool, and someone picks her up bridal style, because you can pick people up in the water like really easily thanks to the oxygen content of our bodies-

"Get on with it. I don't want a physics lesson."

"Well anyway, you know, you just pass the girl around, or occasionally even a guy if he's short. It's really just a game for sluts to pick up playboys. You know, the game you invented?"

"... I may know the one."

"Suuuuuuure. Anyway, you know those blonde twins with the glasses, Suki and Yuki, that I befriended in high school? Well, they're kind of like play girls now. So they basically played this game all night. And, see, well, unfortunately, Sasuke might be kind of play boyish. I mean, every time the sluts come up with something attention grabbing like that, he'll play along, so for like half an hour I had to watch him pick up Yuki-slut, who's his brother's ex girlfriend, by the way, and hand her around, and well, also with any other girl playing, while they just sort of splashed and flirted in the water with their stupid bikinis. God, love sucks."

"I'm going to take a guess and say you wore that very un-sexy, black one piece?"

"... that's beside the point."

"-smirk- I know you so well, forehead."

"Yeah, yeah, pig. Now back to my depression?"

"Well, okay. Um, did the sluts approach him, or did he go to them?"

"I don't know. I was fashionably late."

"You, fashionably late? Since when?"

"Since always, cuz I'm cool like that."

"-clears throat-"

"... okay, my car broke down on the way."

"Thought so, Sak. Well, see here, if the girls approached him, he probably just played along so he wasn't mean or rude or whatever, or maybe some of them were like his dude friends' girlfriends and he didn't want to offend them, because guys have like this extensive, stupid 'guy code' on how to treat other guys' girls. If he approached them though, he's a perv."

"That first one sounds more likely. He looked kind of reluctant to me, and he really isn't perverted, he's nice to girls."

"Then it's the first one. Congrats, Sak. You've found a prudish, kill-joy, geeky guy like you to go marry."

"Ha. Well, still, it kind of hurt to watch. I mean, I've been in love with him since last year, and all this stuff has happened, and we've had some conversations and all, but then these girls just come and get all over him. It really hurts, Ino."

"Aww, I know, honey. Want me to come into your world economics class this Tuesday and show that boy how much that hurt you? -knuckle crack-"

"... no. That's... fine."


"Well, I know you couldn't be at the party, since you got kicked out of band since sixth grade-

"You hit one kid's head in with a flute and suddenly the world hates you."

"There was a lawsuit."

"... nothing they could prove."

"Yeeeeeeaaaaah... well, like I was saying, you weren't there, but at least Hinata and Tenten were. They kind of saw what was happening and dunked my head under the water so I couldn't see."

"Aww, we're all such true friends, ain't we, Sak?"

"Yeah, I mean, obviously I still saw what was going on, but the sentiment that they didn't want me getting hurt still meant a lot."

"Totally. But sorry, I'm still at loss for why your life is over. Nothing has happened yet."

"Shh, I'm getting to that part!"


"Okay, well that night, Tenten was kind of off, because you know her crush, Hyuga Neji? Well, the sluts had him in on their game, only he was actually kind of into it."

"Awww, so sad! Poor Tennie! But if she would just tell Hyuga how she feels, then things like that wouldn't happen!"


"I mean, come on! Apparently he's hott, of course other girls are going to be moving in on him!"


"She needs to TELL HIM! This is just freaking stupid! I mean-

"-darkly- Ino."


"You're kind of describing a certain someone who isn't Tenten, and are reminding her of how badly she sucks at life."

"Huh?... OH! Sorry."

"Yeah, well, she was kind of bent out of shape and just wasn't herself thanks to the sluts, kind of like those bitter women who go on a girls' night together at a bar and get drunk, then say all this stuff about their husbands that they don't really mean, and wind up going home with some guy, and... yeah. Well, our Tennie just wasn't right. And, well, to compensate, she sort of... drunkenly threw herself into my Sasuke conundrum."

"Oh, my God."


"What did she do?!"

"It was bad."

"I'm sure! You know how she gets sometimes! So what the hell happened?!"

"Well, we're talking to Suki and Yuki, while the game is still being played, and all of a sudden, she just PICKS ME UP AND TELLS SASUKE TO CARRY ME."

"Oh... my... freaking... gosh..."

"Yeah! And have I ever mentioned how I am, oh, the SHYEST PERSON IN ALL OF EXISTENCE?!"

"Second to Hinata."

"... don't ruin my rant."

"... sorry."

"So here I am, being enthusiastically held out by Tenten, who's still telling Sasuke to take me, and I start barking at them to put me down, and my voice is like an octave higher with panic. Then Tenten just starts like shoving me at Sasuke, so I start floundering around and kicking her, so she'll drop me, and Sasuke's just kind of ashen looking, Hinata told me. But thankfully, I kicked Tenten hard enough to get away."

"... wow."


"I mean wow."

"Oh, do you think that's it?"

"Oh, my God, there's more?"

"Waaaaay more."

"Please continue, hon."

"Okay, after that, me and Hinata manage to swim away, because she's still sympathetic to me. Well, like fifteen minutes later, we swim back to the slut circle to talk to Tennie, because since that last episode with my close call, she stayed over there trying to flirt and get her man back. So there we are, I'm trying to maneuvre myself so that Sasuke can't see me, when HINATA AND TENTEN decide to turn on me. Hinata kicks my legs out from under me, gets me bridal style, giggling madly, and Tenten hollers at Suki and Yuki to give me to Sasuke. So they all overpower me, Hinata hands me over to Yuki while I start babbling at them to put me down. So Sasuke holding Neji and cracking up at a very unhappy looking Hyuga's face, and Yuki's holding me and Suki's helping, and they're like "Sasuke, we'll trade you! Come hold Sakura! Come on!"

"No... way..."

"Yes! And holy crapola, Sasuke drops Neji and the twins hand -cough- shove me at him. So I am now wet, in my swim suit, and being held bridal style by Uchiha Sasuke, who is wet, shirtless, and really, really, really hott. Did I mention BEING HELD BRIDAL STYLE BY WET, SHIRTLESS SASUKE?! I can feel his abs, and his arms. Around me. He's actually touching me, like outside of my head!!"


"Hah! Hardly!"

"What the hell?! Why?! This is grea- oh! -sigh- what'd you do?"

"-moaning- I'm so stupid..."

"-moaning- Sakura, what happened next?"

"I freaked out."

"You freaked out?"

"Hey, it was a lot to handle all of a sudden."

"-smirk- So Sexy Sasuke's lean, muscular abs were around you, and his dreamy black hair was dripping wet and his hands-

"S-shut up, Ino!"

" -and you freaked."

"-sigh- Yes."

"What happened, really?"

"Well, I went like crimson red, and I sort of ducked my head under my arms, I mean I was seriously embarrassed. My legs were bare too, and, you know, bridal style."

"Ah, Sakura, there are faaaaaaar worse things that can happen to you than the hunkalicious man of your dreams touching your leg, and not even in a perverted way."

"-moaning- Says you. My legs are flabby and fat."

"Shut the hell up, Sakura. Just shut the hell up. You're the most toned person I know. Your legs are gorgeous. You're freaking skinnier than me."

"-moaning- Not for long. I'm going through my entire new half gallon of chocolate Ben and Jerry's right now. So 'ha'."

"No. No fattening comfort food for you. Put it away, Sakura."


"Put. It. A. Way."

"No. I'm a woman in crisis."

"What crisis?! I would absolutely kill for that to happen with me and Shikamaru! Kill! I may just really kill you for bringing me down and it happening to you and not me."

"Nu uh. There's more."

"Right! I'm far from the whole story! Press on!"

"-gloomily- If you insist. Well, there I am, clutching my head in embarrassment, and Sasuke just sort of pats me on the head and whispers 'Sorry. I understand - your friends are weird.'"




"So, I'm still freaking, and start muttering to him to please just drop me, and I swear I'll go drown myself."

"-frustrated- Aw, Sakuraaaaaaaaa..."

"So he was just like 'Okay' and he let me down and I kind of floundered around, like ultra embarrassed, until I had the common sense to swim away. I feel like a total loser."

"YOU ARE, YOU REJECT!! STUPID!! Sakuraaaaaa!! Now he probably thinks you don't like him!!"

"Well, do you think I was going to let him hold me with his awesome abs all night, Ino?!"

"... yeah, good point. You're such a kill-joy, you'd never stand for that."

"I was seriously on the brink of FAINTING, Ino!!"

"Wow, you really DO like him!"

"Well, I have no chance now! He just has to think I'm totally weird and some geeky, nerdy, stalker-freak LOSER who has her friends do everything for her!"

"No he won't. You didn't do anything freaky-

"I had a nervous breakdown after he put me down."

"... excuse me?"

"Nervous breakdown. I started hyperventilating, and I almost fainted. Wonderful Hinata, who was back on my side, had to drag me to the side on the pool before I fainted and drowned."


"Oh, it gets better! Tenten comes over and asks what's wrong, Hinata informs her of my hyperventilation, and do you know what she does? She finds Sasuke, tells him something's wrong with me, and brings him back over to me and Hinata!!"


"So he's just 'Are you alright, Sakura? They said something was wrong with you' and I just manage to say I'm fine between hyperventilating breaths, and he just sort of shrugs, says 'Well, if Sakura says she's okay, I trust her' and he leaves. Now I'm done."

"... well, uh, I'll bet he didn't even notice you were hyperventilating!"

"... thanks. -cries- I'm such a freak! Just kill me!"

"Aw, Sak! Please don't do that. You're a person just like everyone else. He doesn't care that your friends are screwing with your life!"


"Totally, and if he doesn't, I'm going into your world ec class on Tuesday."

"-sigh- Thanks, Ino. You're the best best friend I could ever ask for."

"Tell me something I don't know, hon. Now put down Ben and Jerry before Sasuke gets jealous."

"As if."

"Whatever. Now don't worry and let the chips just fall where they may. And let Auntie Ino get her beauty sleep. You too - it's almost 1 am. Take a shower to get rid of the chlorine."

"Ye, ma'am."

"Later, honey."

"I love you, Ino."

"Love you too, Sak. Can't wait to hear when you two are an item. Late!"


I pressed the 'end' button with my fingernail and watched the screen of my phone go back to my wall paper: a photo of me and all my friends with me holding my clarinet, in front of the band hall. Hinata's boyfriend, Naruto, had taken it for me, just before Tsunade, our band director came and kicked Ino out for not being a band member. I smile I stare at the picture. I kicked the carton of Ben and Jerry away, because it really does make me feel bloated.

Ino's right - I should cut the drama. As if Sasuke will even remember what happened. Still, I can't get the sense that I had been incredibly stupid tonight out of my head. I'm about to start moaning and slide back into my depression and chocolate ice cream again, when my cell phone buzzed right in my hand. I'm about to press the ignore button, sure it's just Ino calling back to make sure I listened to her, when I notice that the caller id is showing an unfamiliar caller. Usually I'll just ignore it and won't answer these, but I'm screwed up tonight, so I go ahead and flip open my phone.


"Is this Sakura?"


"Um, hi, it's Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke?"

"-clatter of a dropped cell phone-"

"Hello? Sakura?"

"U-uh! S-sorry! H-h-hi!"

"I... just got your number from that band directory thing we got in the mail."

"Oh. Did you... need something?"

"I was just calling to make sure you were okay. You had me kind of worried tonight, I mean, you didn't look alright. Are you? Okay, I mean? I didn't wake you up, did I?!"

"... no, y-yeah. Sorry. It was nothing."

"... okay then, see you Tuesday, Sakura."


And then I remembered that one detail of my night that I'd failed to see as important.

"Well, there I am, clutching my head in embarrassment, and Sasuke just sort of pats me on the head and whispers 'Sorry. I understand - your friends are weird.'"

I remember that Sasuke was a lot smarter than any other guy I'd ever met. He gets my 'absolutely must butt in and make my life hell' friends.

'Sorry. I understand - your friends are weird.'"

Finally, I just want to get to bed already, and I finally feel a little optimistic.

Only I stil have to put that damned ice cream downstairs.


I hope you guys liked this! It was inspired by my own crazy friends and screwed up love life. Also, this is dedicated to Amanda, for her birthday. Thanks for helping me out with my own hyperventilation issues, hon, and happy, happy b-day.

Yes, I'm still avidly working out my many chaptered stories, but I really needed some one shot breaks, before my brain imploded from too many world economics reports.

Anyway, I appreciate it, guys. Drop a review and let me know your thoughts if you like. Thanks! Much love.