Guess who's back

A rather coughsmallcough teen with a blond braid and a long red coat jumped out of the train that had just arrived in the Central train station.

Edward Elric and his little brother, yes the big guy in an armour that is, were just fresh back from another mission.

Ed grumbled a bit at the thought of what would lay ahead: report to the stupid Colonel about the stupid mission he had send Ed on.

But there would be plenty of time left later to whine about the Colonel, right now he was actually rather happy being back at Central as it had been a while.

Ed putted the case on the ground and looked back at the train tapping his large boot on the ground impatient as he had his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Aaaaallll, come on. What's taking you so long?"

There was a clanking noise behind Edward as a huge suit of armour tried to step off the train, and a huge THWACK! as it whacked his head of the top of the door.


''I'm trying brother!'' A childlike voice protested as the huge bulk of the armour eventually managed to squeeze out of the door.

''I kinda wish they'd make the doors bigger.'' Al Elric stood beside his older (but a lot smaller) brother and adjusted the helmet of the armour that hosted his soul.

''But it's good to be back, right brother?'' Al looked optimistically down at Ed. If the metal head could have smiled, it would.

"Yeah I guess." Ed agreed as he had been slightly grinning in amusement at his younger brothers problems.

"Though I'm looking forwards so much to go report to 'colonel pain in the ass'." Ed said sarcastically.

He flung the case over his shoulder.

"But it gotta be done, it's the entire charm of being 'a dog of the military." Ed muttered.

Ed started to lead the way to the exit of the station.

"I wonder if Elysia grew." Ed added laughing. No doubt he would know soon enough when they met Hughes.

''Oh that's right! I wonder if she missed us!?'' Al chirped, ambling along after Ed; people in the station giving the huge walking armour suit a wide berth just in case.

''Don't be so disgruntled, brother!'' Al added brightly as they left the station.

''It'll be nice to see Hawkeye, Fury, Havoc and the others- even if he does annoy you, we owe the Colonel a lot, and admit it brother, without Roy, who would you argue with??''

"I'm sure she did." Ed said smiling slightly. The little Elysia slightly reminded him of Nina.

"You can talk you don't have to report to him. I can hear him no already: 'Fullmetal report...wait where is he? Ow did I step on you again?'" Ed muttered lowering his voice to sound more like Mustang.

"Own him?" Ed said a tad heated as he looked at Al. "Hell no."

"But I guess you're right, I need someone to annoy." He added grinning mischievously.

Al sighed, his brother never understood.
''Well,'' He started just as they reached the farm HQ. ''Maybe your just a little too sensitive about your height?''

He could already hear the retort.
''Yeah well it's easy for you to say! You're 9 foot!''

He started up the steps.

Ed had a straight face but inside he was smiling. Al always saw the good inside everyone. Maybe Ed didn't always agreed but he admired his brother for it.

But when Al mentioned his height Ed snapped.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE! I AM NOT SMALL." Ed yelled, announcing the return of the Fullmetal Alchemist in the HQ.

"I'm not oversensitive to my height people just don't have to call me small." He said snappy as he walked through the halls towards the office of the colonel and his men.

''Ed... Ed I didn't say anything about a microscope..'' Al sweat dropped as he followed Ed in, wondering how his brother could freak out so much and then say he didn't have height issues.


Colonel Roy Mustang had just fought his way through mountains of paperwork and was just on his way back to his desk with some coffee when he noticed the two figures marching toward him.

It was a chance he couldn't miss.

''Al Elric! Here without your brother?'' He made a small show of looking around before glancing down and pretending to see Ed for the first time.

''Ahh, Full Metal Shorty! Your here- sorry for not looking down before now.''

Al winced, face palming himself. This was typical.

Ed walked on moody, ignoring his brother.

As Ed saw the colonel near, he smirked slightly, ready for another 'argument'.

At Roy's comment Ed's eye twitched.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY WOULD DROWN IN A RAINDROP!" Ed yelled freaking out on the colonel not caring if it was his superior.

Ed lunged at Mustang wanting to strangle him.

''Now now, don't make me violate the military code.'' Roy chastised in his deep voice as he clicked his fingers, created a small explosion just in front of Ed's face.

''I would hate to have to hurt a child...''

Al clamped both metal arms around his brother's body and held on for dear life, dragging him backwards.

''Calm down big brother! Remember what we came for!''
There was a pause and Al sighed. ''Don't make me lock you in my chest-plate.''

''Yes, listen to your brother, shorty.''

"That's taking advantage of your rank." Ed snapped back before drawing back a tad surprised at the small explosion in front of his face.

"CHILD?!" Ed yelled insulted as he tried to get out of his younger brother's grip. "Let go Al, let go of me!"

Ed had finally started to calm down a bit when Mustang just had to add the 'shorty' and Ed immediately started reaching out for him again.

"Let go Al!" He yelled furious.

''No, Ed!! Calm down!!'' Al pleaded, stuffing his brother unceremoniously into his chest plate and locking the catch.

''I'm not going to have you destroying the HQ because of a remark. Now you'll stay in there till you behave!''

As much as Al admired and looked up to his big brother for his personality and strength, sometimes his height obsession got a little tiring.

Roy had to smirk. He was enjoying it too much.
''Oh, that thing shrimp-sized?'' He asked, rapping his knuckles against Al's chest plate and grinning.
This was the only bit of fun he had got all day, besides peeking into the ladies room from a grate. Hawkeye had caught him. That hadn't ended well.

Al sighed. ''You're not helping.''

"Al let me out!" Ed yelled as he tried to get out. "You have to let me out Al I'm the older brother. Al!"

"I'm not gonna destroy the HQ just him!" Ed huffed slowly starting to calm down.

As Mustang didn't stopped Ed hit the chest panel a few times as if he tried to reach Mustang instead.

"You know if you ever want a report of me keep going you pervert!" Ed snapped back in hope to get back at him.

Everybody knew how Roy was, it was hard to miss with his mini-skirt campaign.

Al looked down into his chest plate. ''Will you behave?'' He asked like a scolding parent, sighing a little.

It was futile, Ed would just keep on being violent and unreasonable. It was kind of part of the package at this stage. And he would go on being a peacekeeper.

Roy shrugged. ''Someone has to commanded the masses of scantily-clad women out there, shorty.'' He proclaimed, waving his arms around grandly and posing.

''Now- to business.'' He snapped back into serious-mode in a flash, going to his desk and sitting behind it, clasping his hands. ''What did you screw up this time? "

Ed let out an annoyed sigh but he seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"Just let me out Al." Ed repeated, though a lot less heated this time.

"Perv!" Ed hissed back.

It kept surprising Ed how Mustang could sometimes go so easily from messing around to serious snappy military.

Ed crawled out of his brothers armour giving him a glare for a moment before sitting down on the couch as usual.

"Really colonel, why do you always assume such a things." Ed said lightly.

Al sighed and let Ed out of his armour suit. ''Promise you won't lose the plot, big brother?'' He pleaded, knowing it was worthless to argue but at least trying.

''That's because I'm usually right.'' Roy closed his eyes and smiled superiorly.

''What's the damage, Fullmetal?''

''Report. Now.'''

Ed ignored Al's pleading as right now he had switched to the serious mode as well for a moment. He would get back at the colonel later.

"Usually colonel. There is a first time for everything." Ed said smirking.

Any other soldier in his right mind would never talk back to the colonel Mustang like that. But then again they also all knew better then to call Fullmetal short. So usually it left the two more or less on equal grounds.

At the colonel's stern demand Ed let out a small sigh of frustration.

He really hated that guy. Of course Ed knew just all too well that the colonel was a respected soldier and a great alchemist, even though they didn't always agree, but like hell he would ever admit that out loud. Beside he still greatly disliked his way of working. And what bothered Ed the most was how much the colonel would actually make him feel like a kid sometimes.

Ed was very mature for his age (except on the height issue of course) but the colonel kept treating him like a little kid half the time, hiding things from him and trying to get Ed distracted by annoying him with his height instead. Or rub in every mistake he made like an angry parent would to a child that had stolen a cookie out of the jar without asking.

"We completed the mission you gave us." Ed started his report.

"We went to the town, did the inspection, made the report, fought of a local gang war, check on the local soldiers and came back sir." Ed said sounding bored.

The gang war hadn't been part of their mission actually. Usually they were supposed to stay out of local fights, well technically seen Al could do what he wanted but considering Ed was under the orders of the military he wasn't supposed to interfere with locals unless given permission from his superiors. (And then he wasn't thinking back at the damage they had made. Though it was more to blame the gang, and it hadn't been half as much as on some other missions.)

But still they could hardly have ignored it. Well maybe they could have but it would have 

killed their conscious so. Beside Ed had the reputation of 'hero of the people' to keep up. Usually he rather just shut up about it but by now it had been obvious that Mustang would know everything every time anyway and just rub it in if Ed hid something. So Ed was going with the 'talk fast and hope he missed that part' approach.

"So now that's taken care of sir, I guess we can go, nice talking to you colonel bye." Ed said as he started pushing Al towards the door. Hoping to escape before Mustang would start nagging again.

Roy's eyes narrowed. ''Aha! I was right once again!'' He boomed, spreading his arms for maximum effect.

''Full Metal once again defies command and gets involved in local gang war, is that what you are saying, Elric?''

Alphonse sweat dropped.

Roy sighed, running a gloved hand through his black hair. ''I must say- you're not making my rise to Fuhrer any easier.''

Ed growled at Roy's little victory parade as he sat back down while grumbling, his arms and legs crossed in annoyance.

"Yeah." He muttered annoyed his face slightly flushed.

Damn stupid Mustang, why couldn't he be deaf.

Ed glared insulted at the colonel. "Those people needed help. So we did ignore a little unimportant rule but it was to help citizens. Isn't that were the army is for?! Alchemists are supposed to help the people. "

"You don't wanna know how much harder I could make it." He added grinning innocently like a child though everybody who knew him could tell that that look was everything but innocent.

''And what would you do? Please don't resort yourself to biting my ankles Elric.''
Roy replied calmly, leaning back while shooting his retort about the whole Fuhrer business.

Secretly, he was very glad that Edward and his brother had helped the citizens, but as Colonel it wasn't his duty to feel glad, it was his duty to give Ed a bollocking for it.

''Next time actually FOLLOW the rules, Elric, and we may not have to treat you like such a child. You and your walking suit.''

Yes, it had been a bad bay for Roy.

Ed glared at him but didn't reply. Why give him hints if he would make sure it would be a clear revenge afterwards anyway.

"At least I can my own initiatives unlike other puppets from the army." Ed snapped back as he jumped up.

"And leave Al out of it. If you absolutely need to take out your frustration do on me and not on my little brother. You have nothing to say over him." Ed added angry. Yes Mustang knew how to get him angry in record time.

Al shouldn't have followed him to the desk for the report.

''Hmm, still don't like me, I see.'' Roy raised his eyebrows at Edward.
''You are just too easy to rile, Elric. Unlike other dogs of the mili-.''

He would have continued but right then a female officer walked by the door and Roy stopped for a second to watch her go.
'So much better in miniskirts.' He muttered before turning back to Edward.

''Thank you for your report, Fullmetal. Will you be staying in Central for long?''
Arguments were going to end up in his office getting blown up.

Alphonse shook his head. ''It's okay, brother.'' He said to Ed in a soothing voice, laying a huge hand on Ed's shoulder.

Ed glared at Roy but he didn't say anything this time.

Ed rolled his eyes at the colonel's remark. Damn, why didn't the lieutenant Hawkeye passed by, she always had a 'very' nice way to react on that side of the colonel. Ed chuckled inwardly at the thought.

"As a matter of fact yes." Ed started as he had calmed down by now.

"Well not really long, but let's say longer than usual. I want to check a few things in the national library and it might take some time." Ed explained. "Then we would have liked to pass by Resembool before going towards the desert sides again."

"Unless of course I have new orders." Ed added as it had started to be a routine by now. "Do we have a new mission?" He asked then, never less a tad curious.

Roy glanced at the MOUNTAINS of paperwork on his desk and shrugged.
''Not for now, but with the amount of red tape I have to work through don't count on that.''

He rubbed his eyes with the with gloves he wore, downing the semi-cold coffee on his desk.

''Have fun. Dismissed.'' He waved a gloved hand, meaning Edward and his brother could go.

Alphonse sighed. It went better than he could have hoped. There was only two fights this time.

Ed stood up ready to leave before he remembered something and turned back around to Mustang.

"Um there's just one more problem colonel."

Roy's eyes narrowed. He didn't like where this was going.
Problems meant paperwork ,paperwork meant more hours of sitting behind this sodding desk.

''What is it, Elric.'' He demanded seriously, leaning his chin on steepled fingers.

Alphonse slipped out into the hallway, allowing the two men to talk.

"It's nothing serious. It's just we don't really have a place to stay during our time at central." Ed explained.

Previous times they had stayed with Tucker. Or in rooms in the extra building beside the barracks but as they were currently working on those, that wasn't possible either. So they were left homeless.

"So I hoped maybe you had a suggestion."

Roy stared at Ed for a few seconds and sighed.
He DID NOT like where this was going.

''Did you try Hughes? Hawkeye? Havoc..?'' He started, but shook his head.
Hughes had a family, and it wouldn't be fair to rope the others into it.

"We don't want to bother Hughes and his family. And Hawkeye and Havoc live in part of the barracks here and apparently minors aren't allowed there." Ed explained.

As if asking the colonel was his first choice, no freaking way!

''All right Fullmetal shrimp- go out and look for a hotel.'' He ordered, jabbing a thumb at Ed's chest.
''Or an inn- anything!''

''But if you can't find anything come back to my apartment. I'm sure I can find a cot.''

"We'll do our best sir." Ed said hastily without even saluting before fleeing out of the room.

Of course not before yelling another "I'M NOT A SHRIMP!".

Roy groaned, rubbing his eyes as Ed left. He sure as hell hoped Elric DID find a place to stay.


It didn't matter where they stayed at hotels or inns as it was all on the army's money anyway.

But the thought of failing to find a place and have to go to the colonel... Ed shuddered at the thought.

'I rather sleep on the pavement.' He thought. 'Hard, cold, wet, dirty pavement.'

"Okay come on Al." Ed said waving at his 'little brother' once he was out of the office.

Alphonse trotted along after Ed, looking down at his brother.
''So what did he say, big brother?'' He asked, pretending that he hadn't been listening.

"That we have to look for an inn or a hotel somewhere in the neighbourhood." Ed replied as he led the way and grabbed every passing soldier to ask if they knew the local inns.

Alphonse sweat dropped as every soldier shrugged and said the same thing.
''Sorry mr. Alchemist sir- busy time in Central, most of the Inns are full.''

''Oh boy.'' Al commented.




Author note:

This takes place somewhere in the middle of the anime, so before the movie.

This isn't an original story. It's an rp. It's the rp that a friend and me are having on my FMA board. She, aka coconut on the board, is Mustang and Al. I'm Ed.

There is more than just the rp on the board. You can find loads of pic's, links to epi's or AMV's, challenges, you can post stories, advertise sites or board or stories, get into an otaku and just randomly talk and play obsessed fan bout FMA and other stuff.

We could still use some members. The taken characters are Ed, Al, Roy and Riza, all other FMA characters are still free and waiting for people to join and claim them.

oustfullmetala./index.cgi (Put the traditional 'http: / / ' in front of that and you have the link. For some reason ff won't let me post the full link in this document, so leave the spaces between away. If that doesn't work the link should be in my bio. XM Check it if you want.)