It's Fargo's Fault

By Andie O'Neill

Rating: M

Pairing: Nathan/Jack

Genre: Humor/Romance

Summary: Jack Carter was going to kill Fargo… one way or another! Jack/Nathan slash!

Warning: Sex (not really graphic), m/m, language

Disclaimer: I don't own Eureka or any of itss characters.

A/N: I just thought this would be seriously hilarious… I couldn't help myself!

"The dreams should only be temporary, Sheriff-"

"Fargo! I haven't had wet dreams since I was sixteen!" shouted Jack angrily.

Douglas Fargo took another step back, his hands held up as he stood ready for any violent actions the Sheriff might choose to take. "You only breathed in a few traces of the gas! I'm sure it will only last a few days!"

Doctor Nathan Stark smiled, watching the Sheriff and Fargo in amusement. How could he not? Not only had Fargo managed to screw things up once again, but he'd done it while Carter was in the room, therefore exposing him to a gas that affected dreams… or more specifically, gave people erotic dreams. Oh the fun that could be had. Nathan was sure the dear Sheriff would be steering clear of Allison for quite a few days. The erotic dreams had been tested on humans before, and most had dreamt about those they were either attracted to, or in love with. Although it was rather disturbing to know the Sheriff would be having sexual dreams about his ex-wife, at least he could take some solace in the fact that it would probably freak out the Sheriff just enough to make him avoid Allison. That just made it all worth while. "Look at it this way, Sheriff, your dreams about to get very interesting for the next few days," he finally spoke before slapping the data pad on the back of Carter's neck.

"Ow! What the hell was that?!" the Sheriff shouted.

"Since the prototype is still being tested we want to gather as much information about its effects as we can. With that pad I'll be able to monitor your dreams," he told Carter with a smug smile. "Sweet dreams, Sheriff."

Carter groaned, watching Fargo run out the room. "I'm going to kill Fargo…."

Jack had just stepped out of the shower and was walking out of his bathroom with his towel wrapped around his waste. He'd forgotten to bring a change of clothes and was on his way to fetch some when the door opened to his bunker. "S.A.R.A.H. what the hell?!" he shouted in annoyance at not being warned only to see Nathan Stark at the door. "Oh… it's you. Come to make fun of me some more? If you haven't noticed I'm rather busy."

Stark didn't say a word. He looked mad as hell; though Jack didn't find that surprising considering the scientist always looked mad as hell around him. He slowly walked inside the bunker, and Jack couldn't help but frown as Nathan walked toward him.

"Stark, what do you want?" he asked, ignoring the fact that his voice had gone up an octave.

Carter grunted as Stark grabbed him and slammed him against the nearest wall. The air was knocked out of him and Jack immediately began to struggle against the slightly larger man until he felt Nathan's lips on his. It was passionate. It was forceful. It was freakin' intoxicating. He could hear Stark groan as he deepened the kiss, practically forcing Jack's mouth to open so he could explore. Carter stopped fighting as he found himself kissing the scientist back. He just couldn't help himself. Suddenly air meant nothing to him. He could taste Nathan on his lips, smell the man all around him, and it was too good to ignore or resist. He wanted more. In his haze he didn't even feel Stark take off his towel as he kissed down Jack's throat, going lower and lower… and lower still.

"Oh god… what the hell are you doing?" he asked only to gasp as Nathan reached his goal-

Jack's head snapped up as he lay in bed, gasping from the intensity of his dream. His eyes were wide, his skin soaked in sweat. He'd had a sex dream… about Nathan Stark… not Allison… Stark. "Oh shit," he mumbled to himself before collapsing back on the bed. "Fargo is a dead man." Jack had a strong feeling he wasn't going to be getting much sleep the next few days….

Jack had almost groaned when Jo told him there was a problem at Global the next morning. Allison had called for him, which meant he couldn't send Jo, which meant he'd be forced to face Stark he was sure. Life sucked. After what seemed to be the longest drive of his life he'd arrived at GD and slowly walked toward the massive building, his heart speeding up with every step. He had to calm down. So he'd had a sex dream about Nathan Stark. It wasn't that big a deal. Although his exploration with the same sex had been brief as he'd met Abby not long after, it had given him the proof he'd needed to know he was attracted to both. It wasn't something he felt comfortable talking about… god forbid his daughter were to find out! If just to himself, he could admit Stark was a very attractive man. He was tall, nice curly hair, beautiful green eyes, and built like a friggin' brick. Then of course he'd spent more than five minutes with the guy and realized he couldn't stand the man. Since then they'd fought, bickered, and resisted killing each other.

His pursuit of Allison hadn't exactly helped matters, especially when he'd learned of Stark and Allison's history. They'd been enemies from the very beginning, rivals for another woman's affection. That wasn't exactly the basis for a good relationship. That wasn't even a good basis for a working relationship, but somehow they'd managed. Perhaps there were times when Jack admitted their back and forth had seemed more like flirting than fighting, but such shifts were rare and not even worth mentioning. So why on god's green earth had he just had a sex dream about the man? The man who continued to be the source of his worst migraines? The man who had an ego the size of the town itself? He was seriously not having a good day.

"Carter!" greeted Allison as she walked toward him, Nathan Stark on her heels. "Thank god you're here. Some scientists are trapped in section four and we're having some trouble getting them out."

Jack indulged in a quick glance at Stark who seemed his usual self and let out an internal sigh of relief. Perhaps he was in the clear? He'd told Jack he was going to be monitoring Carter's dreams, but as he stood next to Allison he didn't look upset, pissed off, or even embarrassed. Jack focused his mind on the problem at hand… he had some scientists to save.

"Good job there Carter, although you could try not demolishing every single lab next time…" Stark spoke as the three sat in his office over five hours later.

Jack was resting on Stark's couch, covered in rubble and completely exhausted. "I'll try to remember that the next time I'm called in here to save your ass."

Allison rolled her eyes, leaning against Nathan's desk. "You two work well together. We may have to team you two up more often," she told them both with a wide smile, which only seemed to grow when Jack and Stark rolled their eyes.

"Riiiight," they said in unison, and Allison let out a snort in amusement.

Carter rolled his neck, trying to get the kinks out when he heard Stark change the subject. "So Carter… sleep well?"

His eyes immediately widened his posture suddenly stiff as he looked at Nathan, almost panicked. "What?! No! I mean yes! I mean… uh… I uh… didn't really… sleep… much. Did some paperwork I'd been meaning to catch up on. You know… reports and… filing… and other Sheriff… stuff."

Nathan's smug smile immediately had Jack's heart beating a mile a minute. "That's too bad, Carter. There's nothing like a good night's sleep to get you ready for the day."

Allison folded her arms, regarding Carter suspiciously. "Yeah, I heard about Fargo's little accident yesterday. I suppose I can't really blame you for skipping bedtime," she told him, her eyes filled with sympathy.

Jack glanced at Nathan nervously before looking at Allison. "Yes well, just remind me if I see him that I've sworn an oath to kick his scrawny ass."

Stark looked almost surprised. "You certainly seem to be handling the issue well."

Allison glared at Stark. "Nathan-"

Stark frowned. "But you do realize Carter that your dreams will only get worse if you keep trying to resist them. You'll have to let them play out… run their course."

Carter stared at Nathan, seeing the anger in the other man's eyes… almost jealousy. "You think I'm having dreams about Allison?" he asked in surprise before he realized what he'd just said.

"Okay, enough!" spoke Allison, seeing the potential for problems.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Are you saying you haven't?" he asked in disbelief.

"No!" shouted Jack. Once again he found himself speaking without thinking. "I thought you were supposed to be monitoring my dream cycles, Stark… which means you should already know that!"

Nathan glared at him. "I haven't had a chance to look over the raw data yet. I wasn't really looking forward to it… getting a glimpse into your mind isn't exactly my idea of a good time!"

"Will you two just cut it out?!" shouted Allison in annoyance.

Jack shook his head, getting up off Stark's couch. "Yeah well having you get a glimpse into my mind isn't exactly my idea of a good time either," he shot back before storming out of Stark's office.

"Fuck you Carter!" Nathan shouted, getting right into Jack's face.

Jack couldn't control the rage building inside him, like a gas line about to blow. "You first!" he shouted back before swinging his fist. It hit Stark hard, the impact sending him to the floor in his office, but not before he grabbed Carter's shirt, taking the man down with him. The two wrestled on the carpet floor, rolling around as they each tried to gain control. Nathan had a good grip on Jack's shirt and rolled on top, slamming his head against the floor before he raised his fist. Carter wasn't about to give up quite so easily and he quickly turned the tables, rolling them over so he was on top. Stark tried to hit him, but Jack grabbed both of his wrists, pinning them over Nathan's head. Green eyes met blue and suddenly the rage turned into something else and before Jack could register what had happened his lips were on Nathan's, their lips and tongue dueling in a fight far more pleasurable. Carter let go of Stark's wrists and moved his hands through Nathan's hair, tugging gently on the curls.

Stark made himself busy by ripping Jack's uniform, buttons flying everywhere. He pulled Jack's brown shirt over his head, breaking their kiss for only a second. Carter could hear Nathan growl as he looked at Jack's naked chest before he kissed down his neck, biting his shoulder roughly, while his hands undid Carter's belt. Carter pulled off Nathan's suit jacket and ripped open the shirt underneath, loosening and pulling off his tie at record speeds. His mind refused to catch up to his actions as he kissed Nathan once more, pushing his body flush against the scientist. He almost howled in delight when Nathan stuck his hand in Carter's pants and boxers, wrapping a hand around him.

"God dammit!" shouted Jack as he bolted upright in his bed, panting. That was it! He didn't care what Nathan had told him! He was never going to sleep again! Never ever again! "You know what… death is too good for Fargo. I'm thinking slow and painful," he spoke to himself as he got out of bed, ignoring his hard-on. It was time for yet another VERY cold shower.


"What!" he snapped as he walked into his office and sat down at his desk.

Jo raised an eyebrow. "Okay… somebody had a rough night."

Jack sighed, rubbing his face as he tried to calm himself down. He'd never been so frustrated in his life. "You have no idea…."

Lupo smiled, grabbing the Vinspresso on her desk and got up to give it to him. "Allison dropped by this morning to give this to you. She had a feeling you were going to be needing it."

Carter offered Jo a grateful smile before taking a long sip of the fresh brew, letting the bitter sweet slide down his throat and warm his insides. "Thanks."

"No problem," spoke Lupo as she sat back at her own desk. "You know, you've got quite a bit of leave… you could take a few days off," she offered.

Jack shook his head. "I'm fine. Besides… I think I'd rather work than be stuck at home bored out of my mind."

"Carter, you look like you haven't slept in forever," Jo fought.

Jack closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind as faint images ran through his head. "Believe me, Jo… sleep is the last thing I need right now."

After stopping in the Sheriff's office to drop off the Vinspresso for Carter, she'd immediately headed straight for GD. She'd planned on going to her office, but had instead decided to stop by Doctor Paul Suenos' lab to see how things were going with the Sheriff. The Doctor had been doing his best to go through the raw data despite embarrassment, but it was the look in his eyes as he'd given the video footage of Carter's dreams to Allison that said it all.

"I've included all the data I've collected and converted the rest into video for Doctor Stark, but somehow I think it would be better coming from you rather than myself."

"Why Doctor, it can't be that bad can it?" Allison had asked.

Doctor Suenos simply smiled. "It's simply amazing what dreams can reveal about a person," was all he said before turning back to his computer.

Allison looked down at the data meant for Stark and stopped in front of Nathan's office, opening the door slowly. "Nathan?"

"Hey Ally," Stark said with a faint smile, waving her in.

Allison walked inside his office, closing the door behind her as she dropped the data on his desk.

"What's this?" he asked in confusion.

"That would be the data on Carter's dreams that you requested from Doctor Suenos. He just finished going through it."

"Oh joy," Nathan muttered, rolling his eyes.

Allison folded her arms. "You heard Carter, they aren't about me, so why the sarcasm?"

Stark smiled, leaning back in his chair, hands linked together on his stomach. "You mean you believe him? The guy's been drooling over you since the day you two met. Who else would they be about? The whole point of that gas is to tap into conscious and subconscious fantasies about those we have feelings for. In all the previous tests those involved dreamed about their wives and husbands. Those who were single dreamed about someone they'd obviously developed an attachment to."

Suddenly Allison couldn't help but think about Doctor Suenos' words. "It's simply amazing what dreams can reveal about a person," she repeated with a thoughtful smile. "You never know Nathan… he might surprise you."

"Sheriff Carter is not a complex man, Ally… he's not that hard to figure out."

"Whatever you say." Allison wasn't about to argue with her ex-husband. He'd know soon enough whether Carter was speaking the truth. Somehow, Doctor Blake had a feeling he was. If the erotic dreams had been about her, Blake had no doubt Carter wouldn't have been able to look her in the eye for days. From what she'd seen, he'd behaved quite normal around her. The only one he hadn't been normal around was… Allison immediately frowned, looking back down at the data on Stark's desk. There was no way… it was impossible. Yet… the only one he hadn't been normal around was… Nathan. Suddenly Allison had a very bad feeling.

Jack had been doing his best to avoid Stark as much as humanly possible. The latest dream which had involved a shower and one very naked Nathan Stark had been the worst as Carter hadn't awoken until after it was over only to find some very sticky sheets. Dirty laundry aside, he'd never felt so disturbed in his life. The dreams continued to become more and more intense, with more detail than Jack could deal with. The first two had been rough and frustrating. The third had been far more affectionate. All of them had been extremely erotic, but the last one had touched a subject Carter simply wasn't ready for. As much as Carter wanted to avoid sleep altogether, his demanding schedule and long hours made skipping bedtime impossible. He could only hope the madness would soon end and his life would be able to return to normal once again. "Yeah right… who am I kidding?"

With a small sigh Jack opened the door to Henry's station, food from Café Diem in hand. "I come baring gifts," he spoke with a small smile as he walked inside only to notice Henry wasn't alone. "Stark?"

Nathan raised an eyebrow as he stood up from Henry's work station. "Carter, fancy seeing you here," he muttered sarcastically. "Car trouble," he then added by way of explanation.

"Figures," Jack mumbled to himself before dropping the food onto Henry's desk. "Hey Henry."

"Jack hey, was there something you needed?"

Carter frowned, looking over at Nathan as memories of his last dream washed over him. He couldn't stop thinking about the gentle caresses, how wonderful it had felt to have Nathan flush against him while warm water poured over them both. It was wrong on so many levels, yet somehow nothing in Jack's life had ever felt so right. It was as if they just fit together, and it didn't make any sense. "Uh no… just thought I'd keep you company for a little while, but seeing as your busy-"

"Oh no, grab a chair," Henry told him as he closed the hood of Nathan's car. "I was just finishing up anyway."

Stark cleared his throat. "Wow Carter, you look like hell," he finally said, staring at the other man with an intensity that was way too familiar.

Carter blushed under his scrutiny. "Kinda hard to avoid when your dreams are being manipulated by a crazy erotica drug." Jack grabbed a chair and looked away from Stark, not quite sure what the man knew.

"Oh come on, Jack! It can't be that bad!" Henry said with a grin.

"Unless of course you've been dreaming about Fargo," added Nathan with an amused smile.

Jack groaned at the thought. "Okay… so maybe there is a silver lining."

Henry laughed, patting his back sympathetically. "Vince has half the town betting on who your little dreams are about."

Carter rolled his eyes. Sometimes it really didn't pay to live in a small town. "Don't people in this town have anything better to do than bet on my love life?"

"Obviously not," muttered Nathan, leaning back in his chair.

"Let me guess… Allison?" Carter asked Henry with a tired sigh.

Henry nodded. "You, my friend, are much smarter than people around here give you credit for," he answered, taking a seat as Carter handed him his food.

Stark snorted. "Who else would they bet on? Allison's a sure thing."

Carter glared at him. "Apparently not… since she's not who I've been dreaming about." Jack wasn't sure why it annoyed him so much that Nathan believed his dreams were about Allison. It was certainly what he'd expected his dreams to be about.

"Wait a minute… you mean you've been dreaming about someone else? Do we know her?" Henry asked, curious.

Jack blushed once again, glancing over at Nathan briefly, as the scientist folded his arms. "Um well… they haven't actually been about a… 'her'… technically," he admitted, taking a leap as he waited to see how the two men would respond.

"A man? Your dreams have been about a man?" Deacon questioned in surprise. "Wow Jack, I had no idea…."

Both of Stark's eyebrows were raised and Jack could see the look of astonishment on his face. It was almost worth it to see Nathan's response to his revelation. Carter shrugged, taking a bite into his hamburger. "Yeah well, it's not really something I usually share with people. I only dated a few guys before I met Abby," he told Henry.

"So… your dreams honestly weren't about Allison?" asked Nathan, still playing catch up.

Jack knew the scientist would know the truth soon enough. All the data being collected by the pad Stark had slapped on his neck would eventually have to be looked over by Nathan. As embarrassing as it was, Carter saw no use in trying to hide. "Afraid not."

Stark stared at him for a few more beats before turning away. "I should let you guys enjoy your meal," he almost whispered before grabbing his suit jacket. "Thanks for the assistance, Henry. Please let me know when my car's ready."

"Sure thing… sure you don't need a lift back to GD?"

"No thanks. I have legs," Nathan assured him and with a nod to them both he left.

Jack watched him go before looking over at Henry. "Weird…."

Henry nodded, taking another bite into the sandwich Carter had brought him.

Nathan stared at the data chip, flipping it over and over in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what to make of Carter's words. He never would have expected the Sheriff to be interested in men. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Stark couldn't help but think about Allison's words, that he might be surprised and he suddenly realized Allison must have known. Had Carter told her? After years of pursuing Allison, it had never occurred to Nathan that the Sheriff could have feelings for another, but he obviously did if the dreams weren't about Ally. With a deep breath he inserted the chip into his computer, pulling up the files that would lead to the footage Doctor Suenos had recorded directly from Carter's brain. When the first video finally popped up Stark dropped the coffee he'd been holding in his hand, which landed right on his very clean, carpet floor. He couldn't seem to pull his eyes away as he watched the dreams unfold. The first involved Nathan pushing Jack against the nearest wall before fully taking advantage of his state of undress. The second involved physical violence and Stark couldn't help but smile until he watched the mood change and suddenly he was blushing. Was it getting a little warm?

Stark tugged on his collar. They were ripping each other's clothes off like animals, and somehow Nathan had a feeling the scene had much to do with the earlier fight between the two earlier that day. When he felt his pants getting a bit tight he immediately decided he'd had enough and closed his laptop, surprised at out breathless he felt. "Well that's new."

"I don't know… I always figured you'd either kill each other or kiss each other one day during one of your fights." Nathan's head snapped up as he saw Allison standing at the door.

"Probably both," Stark answered with a sad smile.

Allison smiled back before walking into his office, closing the door behind her before holding up another chip. "Doctor Suenos just finished going through it."

Nathan shook his head. "I'd rather not."

Ally dropped it on his desk. "In case you change your mind. You know, I thought I'd be surprised, but the truth is I can't say I am. You should talk to him, Nathan."

Stark frowned. "And tell him what?" he asked, not quite sure how he felt about the situation.

Allison rolled her eyes. "That you want to make his dreams a reality," she told him bluntly.

Nathan laughed at that, shaking his head. "Me and Carter?"

"It's Eureka… crazier things have happened."

"Name one," he demanded.

Allison smiled. "Invisibility?"

Stark shook his head.

"Talking houses?"

Again Stark shook his head.

"Clones, artifacts going into people, Taggart and Jo making out, a dog with an IQ higher than most humans, mechanical geese, and last but not least… almost everyone in Eureka having a lower IQ than Carter."

Nathan frowned. "Okay… you got me with the last one," he admitted in defeat.

Allison couldn't help but laugh.

Zoe was staying at Pilar's for the night, which seemed to have turned into a once a week thing, leaving Jack all by his lonesome. He'd been drinking coffee by the gallon to avoid sleep. Carter sighed walking down the steps to watch some TV when he heard a knock on the door. "S.A.R.A.H. door," he called out.

The door immediately opened and Jack almost groaned when he saw Stark standing at the door in jeans and a black T-shirt. "Carter," Nathan greeted with a small smile as he walked inside.

Jack regarded him suspiciously. "Stark? What the hell do you want?"

"Isn't it kind of late for you to be up?" he asked, ignoring Jack's question.

"Yes well… I'm not exactly going to be getting a good relaxing sleep anyway," he muttered in annoyance.

Nathan took a few steps to him, and Carter could help but feel like the man was looming over him. Jack was about to move back when he felt Stark grab him roughly, pulling him into a searing kiss that had Carter aroused in no time.

Not again. "Oh shit… I'm going to kill Fargo," he muttered, pulling away from the kiss.

"You're not dreaming, Jack," Nathan assured him.

"Oh really?" he asked, not believing him. "And why should I believe you?"

Stark simply shrugged, smiling as he walked toward Carter who was taking steps backward until he hit the wall. "I could try reasoning with you, but we both know you'll never believe me."

"You're probably right," Carter told him, breathless as he felt Nathan's warmth surround him.

Nathan smiled, kissing him again, taking his time to explore Jack's mouth and suddenly Carter was feeling dizzy as he felt Stark's hands drift under his shirt. The scientist broke the kiss only briefly. "You know it's sad. When I thought you were dreaming about Allison, I wasn't sure what I was more jealous of… the fact that it was Allison… or the fact that it wasn't me. Low and behold my surprise when I found out I was your dream boy all along," he teased.

Jack smiled back. "Fuck you," he muttered against his lips.

"You first," Nathan replied, with a small chuckle before claiming his lips once more.

Jack jumped up in bed, gasping. "Damn," he whispered to himself, rubbing his eyes. Had it all just been a dream? Carter frowned, groaning. "This is all Fargo's fault…."

"Jack, shut up and go back to bed," muttered a voice from under the covers.

Carter's head snapped down to his side, surprised when he saw in the darkness someone else in his bed… Nathan Stark. Okay… not a dream. He couldn't help the growing grin as he settled back into bed. "You know, I might just let Fargo live after all," he whispered to Nathan before closing his eyes. When he heard Stark laugh he let out a sigh. "For now…."

The End